Chapter 7 Listening

1. Chapter 7 Listening April 2nd, 2008

2. Motivations • Seek first to understand, and only then to be understood. • Listening is a vital skill for successful managers, supervisors, professional employees & group members. • Rewards of good listening include: learning, building relationships, being entertained, making intelligent decisions, saving time, enjoying conversations, settling disagreements, getting the best value, preventing accidents & mistakes, asking intelligent questions, and making accurate evaluations. • Good listeners get more out of small groups & are more appreciated.

3. Four Components Of Listening • Sensing (Hearing), Interpret, Evaluate, Remember • Sensing (Hearing the Message) • Hearing message a voluntary act • Choose to pay attention to certain messages • Selective Attention • Noise • External • Internal

4. Four Components Of Listening • Interpreting the Message • Assigning meaning to message • Goal is to understand other person's meaning. • Evaluating the Message Content- • The process of taking various inputs filtering out those that we consider unimportant (sensing/selecting), interpreting those that are important and then making a decision or judgment. • Memory: Retaining and Responding to Message

5. Four Active Listening Response Methods • Paraphrasing • Stating in own words what speaker intends. An objective description, responding to verbal & nonverbal communication of speaker. Concentrating on internal summary of another's thoughts & ideas fights daydreaming. • Expressing Understanding • Focus on feelings of speaker, rather than to restate content of message. Taking into account their nonverbal comm. making sure you are assigning meaning correctly.

6. Four Active Listening Response Methods • Asking Questions • Clarify other person's perspective, open up discussion, follow up previous idea; Not to put person on the spot. • Using Nonverbal Communication

7. Eight Barriers to Active Listening • 1. Lack of Interest-boredom, impatience, daydreaming, preoccupied • 2. Distracting Delivery-speaker disorganized, fidgeting, poor delivery • 3. External and Internal Noise-distracting environmental noise • 4. Arrogance and Disrespect—emotional response, hostile to speaker • 5. Pre-Programmed Emotional Responses-hot issue, mind made-up • 6. Listening for Facts—facts only, disregarding themes, context • 7. Faking Attention—pretending to listen, not really hearing • 8. Thought Speed—thinking faster speaker; bored • Other Barriers—laziness, tiredness, insincerity

8. Providing Constructive Feedback • Use descriptive statements without judgment, exaggeration, labeling, or attribution of motives. • Talk first about yourself. Use "I" not "you" statements. • Phrase as a statement, not question. Questions appear controlling, manipulative, make people defensive, angry. • Restrict feedback to observations, facts. Not opinions as facts.

9. Providing Constructive Feedback • Provide positive as well as negative feedback. Good work not taken for granted giving feedback only about problems. • Understand context. Determine right moment. Constructive feedback happens in context of listening and caring about person. • Don't use labels. Labels taken as insults; Not legitimate feedback. • Be exact; Careful not to exaggerate. Exaggeration invites argument • Don't be judgmental.

10. Receiving Feedback • Receiving feedback is stressful, bodies react by getting tense. • Take slow, deep breaths to help your body relax, allow brain to maintain greater alertness. • Listen carefully. Don't interrupt. • Don't discourage the feedback-giver. • Ask questions only for clarity or for specific examples. • Acknowledge the feedback. • Paraphrase message in own words to let the person know you heard and understood what they said. • Acknowledge valid points; agree with what is true. • Acknowledge person's viewpoint; Try to understand reaction • Take time to sort out what you heard.