Coaching Accreditation Course 3d Simulation Technology Module 2

Coaching with clarity Distance Education Coaching Accreditation Course 3d Simulation Technology Module 2 Coaching for Individual Transformation www.neuro-learning.com A division of Active Learning Centre International T: 0243411832 E: enquiries@neuro-learning.com

Practitioner Accreditation Requirements Pre-course Reading material Three two-day workshops (6 modules in total) 30 hours of logged case-study work using the techniques 10 hours of peer supervision 10 hours of professional supervision Evaluation of Competency by Dr Carlos A. Raimundo Master Training To keep accreditation current, two six-hour Master Training Seminars must be taken each year. The Master training seminars are based on topics presented by the Active Learning Centre or requested by participants. The Master training provides further techniques and theoretical foundations to deal with more challenging issues.

(C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Welcome! Welcome to the Coaching with Clarity Accreditation Program. Use this power point to guide you through the pages of your student manual. Click the space bar to move forward. When you see this icon, click on it with your mouse to watch the video of Dr. Carlos explaining the theory behind what you are learning. Click if you use Windows or if you use Mac. When you see this icon, it is time to reflect and write in your manual. When you see this image, take the time to read through the information on the page(s) of your manual.

Take some time to peruse the outcomes for Module 2 on page 3 of your manual.

Regression Pregnancy Birth/Trauma Protected, warm Progression Pregnancy Birth and Growth Protected, warm Catharsis and Catharsis of Integration And then there was the time… I wonder what this is preparing me for…

Wherever we are in life, it is preparing us for the next step. J L Moreno

The Right Time to Change What are some of the sociological Containers that ideally are in place to prepare for the baby’s arrival? SOCIAL MATRIX Best Time Best Place Moreno talked about “the best place and the best time” meaning there comes a time when it is optimal to move on, change, because our present “Container” is too small. For Moreno, not to be born is the greatest trauma and can lead to death - if not physically, then emotionally and spiritually.

Best Time What are the implications of this way of thinking for the way we view change? Record your thoughts on page 5 of your manual. What/who are your “Containers”?

Anxiety and Spontaneity We don’t always have control over what life deals us but we do have control over how we respond. When we don’t know what to do we have the choice to respond with anxiety or approach the situation with a sense of “wonder” (A. Heschell). Moreno described this as “Spontaneity (S)”. Spontaneity is the appropriate response to a new situation, or a novel response to an old situation. We distinguish spontaneity from impulse, because impulse is based on the speed of reaction, not appropriateness. S: Spontaneity A: Anxiety A S A S

Spontaneity can be learned! Carlos Raimundo It’s the difference between being occupied and preoccupied. Andres Raimundo

Relaxed and Tense Fields

If you haven’t already, this would be a good time to take a break. Think about what you have learned up to this point. Pause the program and begin again when you are ready.

Now it’s time to “play”! Take out your kit and get ready for the next technique.

The Towards and Away From Technique

Life is not a matter of ‘chance’, it’s a matter of ‘choice.’ In order for us to make effective life choices we need to have a clear understanding of what we are looking for; what we really want in life. Once this ideal picture is in place we can begin to search for ways to reach our destination. The things we do on a regular basis; the behaviours we have learned, form the roles we play in life. These roles help us to move either towards or away from what we really want. A role can either develop or diminish us. A Constructive role helps us to become a better person and moves us towards what we want in life. By feeding these roles we are more likely to arrive achieve our heartfelt goals and objectives. In contrast, a Fragmenting role weakens us as a person and our relationships. These roles gradually move us away from our ideal life goals and objectives. Change is possible as we become aware of and identify the types of roles we are playing. By taking on constructive ways of acting we begin to enjoy a better life.

The following technique, Towards and Away From is designed to assist you to: • Clearly identify what you want. • Clarify what you’re already doing to achieve your desired goals and objectives. • Pinpoint what you’re currently doing to move you away from your goals and objectives. • Create the First Step towards change.

You will notice Terry’s story at the side of each page. If you wish, you can read what Terry did (a true case) to get some insights into how another person used the technique to get clarity on his goals and objectives. Terry is Jenny’s husband. Jenny’s story is described in the First Step Technique. Jenny showed Terry the picture of the scene she created using the Play of Life. Terry was touched by Jenny’s picture. Like her, he wants to improve their family relationships.

Just relax. This is your time. Close your eyes and breath deeply three times. Think about a life goal or a specific objective you’d like to achieve. It could be as general as an overall ideal lifestyle or as specific as: A new job A holiday Getting fit Thinking of the generic or specific situation you have chosen, dare to dream! Project yourself into the future and imagine you are already living and enjoying your goal or objective. Don’t sell yourself short. Refer to Terry’s story if you get stuck, otherwise just continue.

Remove the template (page 7) from your manual. Find a comfortable place to play; one that has a hard, stable surface to work on. You may prefer to sit with a cup of tea or coffee to feel more “at home”. Allocate enough uninterrupted time to do the play. 45 minutes should be enough. Place the template in front of you. This becomes the “stage” on which you will represent your goal/objective (your dream).

You’re working in Box A “MY IDEAL” Choose a figure that represents you. Place the figure in a location on the stage that represents your presence in this picture. Using both hands, bend and shape the figure in a way that represents how you are feeling in this future place & time. Looking at the figure and the space around you, who else is there? Place a figure that represents each person on the template and position them in a position that completes the picture. What else is there? If relevant, use a prop to represent other aspects of your ideal e.g. support, freedom, abundance, home ownership. Terry projects himself into the future. He creates a picture of he and his wife relating well. He and Jenny contentedly stand beside their son who has long since resolved his problems and is himself happily married.

Now, look at the picture from different angles and modify whatever you need to make it as close as you can to your dream. Project yourself into it. Be there, believe it! Then, choose a title for this picture and write it in the bottom of Box A on the template. What are you feeling in this ideal scenario? Record it in Box A of the template. Terry chooses the title “Family Dream”. He feels satisfied, happy and fulfilled.

Describe the role Look at the picture and ask yourself: What am I doing? (e.g. helping.) How am I feeling while doing that? (e.g. willingly) Translate your answers into an adjective and a noun. (e.g. Willing Helper) Record the role played in Box A. How often do you play this role? 1(rarely) 2 (sometimes) 3 (often) Optional: Where or in which context did you learn this role? e.g. With Grandma doing Meals on Wheels. Terry sees himself as a Happy Communicator.

Choose somebody (one person) in the picture relating to you. Describe the role s/he is playing in relation to you (using an adjective and a noun) and how s/he is feeling e.g. “Grateful Sharer.” Record this somewhere on the template if you’d like to. Looking at the picture you have created. How accurately does this represent your heartfelt dream? Choose a number from 1 (I’m not able to dream) to 10 (This is my full dream) to indicate how much you allowed yourself to dream. Write it somewhere in Box A. If you rated your dream below 8, consider modifying your picture to represent a 10. Dare to dream big!

Box B CONSTRUCTIVE ROLE Looking at your life at the moment, what are you doing which, IF you continue doing it, will move you towards the dream you have created? Choose a figure to represent you. Place and position it in such a way as to depict what you are doing in relation to others or in relation to an event/situation. Use props if necessary. Terry depicts himself sitting at the dinner table with Jenny. He also places himself next to his son working together on the family car. In both those situations, conversations are easier.

Choose a title for this picture and write it in box B. What are you feeling in this scenario? Write it in Box B. Describe the role you’re playing and write it in box B. Describe the role the other is playing. How often do you play that role? 1 (rarely) 2 (sometimes) 3 (often) Where (in which context) did you learn that role? E.g. Friend’s family home Who was/is your role model? Terry’s title is “Together”. He identifies his role as that of “Happy Communicator.” He doesn’t do this as often as he’d like to but he enjoys the occasions when the conversation flows with Jenny and his son.

Box C FRAGMENTING ROLE Even though we may want something, we often behave in ways that move us away from our goal. We act in ways that are inconsistent with what we really desire in life. Looking at your life at the moment, what are you doing which IF you continue doing it, will move you awayfrom the dream you have created? Choose a figure to represent you. Place and position it in such a way as to depict what you are doing in relation to others or in relation to an event/situation. Use props if necessary. Terry quickly identifies that he spends more time communicating with staff than with his family. He often works late.

Choose a title for this picture and write it in box C. What are you feeling in this scenario? Write it in Box C. Describe the role you’re playing and write it in box C. Describe the role the other is playing. How often do you play that role? 1(rarely) 2 (sometimes) 3 (often) Where (in which context) did you learn that role? E.g. Home Who was/is your role model? Terry chooses the title “Escape”. When he works late, he feels guilty but he wants to be a good provider. Terry identifies his role as Insecure Escapee. He plays this role often. His role model was his father.

Looking at Box C and B, use percentages to describe the proportion of time you spend in those roles. Eg 10/90 - (10% Fragmenting and 90% Constructive). Write the percentages below each box. Terry realises he spends 90% in his Fragmenting role and 10% in his Constructive role..

Looking at the role you’re playing in box C, what can you do to change that role to make it more constructive; more like that of the role you are playing in box B? Looking at the figure that represents you, choose one small movement; a first step that would help you to achieve your goals and objectives. Record the first step on the template and write what that means to your life. Record how difficult this step is for you, 1 (easy), 2 (difficult) 3 (very difficult). Record it below your First Step if you’ like to. If this is a “3”, try to find a smaller step to start with. Repeat the movement a few times. Terry’s first step is to turn away from his work, towards his family. For him this means leaving work at a decent hour. This will not be easy for him to do.

Congratulations! You have finished the “Towards and Away From Technique”. You may like to take a photo of what you’ve created. Some people use the ideal picture as a screen saver to focus on what they want in life.

Post-Technique Reflection What did I learn from doing the Towards and Away From technique? I will be able to use this technique with my clients/ staff in the following ways: Questions I need answered before I practise this technique:

Recall the first time you played the role previously identified. Where were you? Who was there? How old were you? Did you witness the role being played by someone else? Who is your role model? Reflect and complete page 9 of your manual. Role Dynamics When you did the Towards and Away from technique you looked at a behaviour that moved you towards your goal (Constructive Role) and a behaviour that moved you away from your goal (Fragmenting Role). Choose one or the other to focus on for this exercise. The Counter Role is the role the other person played in relation to you.

Now it’s your time to practise. Invite a friend, family member or colleague to be a “client”. Refer to the directions on page 11 of your manual. Don’t be afraid to read the instructions step by step as you practice the technique. Use the Practitioner Recording Sheet on page 13 to record the information from the session. You will need to download and print additional copies of the Towards and Away From working template from the internet for any additional practise by going to this link: http://www.neuro-learning.com/downloads/m1_2/m1_2.html Keep this link for future downloads of templates for the techniques you learn in Modules 1 and 2. Allow the client to take his/her completed template home after the session. After the session, evaluate your implementation using the Practitioner in Training Log & Self Evaluation sheet on page 14. Keep these in a safe place as a record of your practise hours. More copies of these can be downloaded from the same link above. Before you start, read the next slide to choose one of two approaches to the technique.

When you use the Towards and Away From Technique, you can take one of two approaches with your client: • Generic view: Project yourself into the future and visualize in your mind, the life you’d like to live. Allow yourself to dream and imagine yourself already enjoying your desired goals. • Specific topic view: Identify a specific area of your life on which to focus. Here are some examples: • Your relationship with an individual • Your immediate family as a whole • Your work • Your team • Financial security • A dream holiday • Your career • Don’t forget to complete the self evaluation sheet after the session on page 14 of your manual.

Coaching Tools Take the time to read the course notes from on pages 15 to 17 Make a note of any questions you have. Email them to: enquiries@neuro-learning.com

The use of the Play of Life allows the coach to communicate with the limbic part of the brain directly rather than attempting to navigate through the protecting constructs that have been created in the cortex. The Play of Life also boosts spontaneity and lowers anxiety; facilitating greater insight in a shorter period of time. But insight isn’t enough! I may know I’m acting inappropriately but not know how to do things differently. The Play of Life teaches the client new roles; new ways of acting through a process of visualisation and simulation. Carlos A Raimundo Being a coach is like to being a midwife …… helping someone to be reborn! Carlos Raimundo

Now it’s time to “play”! Click the picture to begin the Pillars of Life.

Coaching with clarity The Pillars of Life Technique

The Pillars of Life is a technique that highlights the good memories we have stored away on our life journey. The technique helps us to focus on what we have, rather than on what we lack. Good memories provide a firm foundation from which to move forward. They also sustain us in the difficult moments of life. There is a wonderful piece of advice in a Book in which the author writes: “Fill your minds with those things that are good and that deserve praise: things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely and honourable”

We all look at life through lenses. If the lens we use to view our past is negative, full of resentment and bitterness, we must understand that the same lens will taint the reality of our present and our future. The Pillars of Life technique helps people to create healthy lenses.

Some counselling methods encourage people to repeatedly return to and re-live their past to purge themselves of the hurts and injustices they have experienced. Our approach, while never dismissing the impact or injustices of past hurts, focuses on those things that sustained people through their most difficult times. These are the “Pillars” life. Pillars can consist of many things: • People who valued us. • Role models- People in history or from our own community whose choices in life shaped us. • Beautiful encounters with nature, music or art. • A book /film that gave us hope. • A majestic day/experience where everything just seemed right with the world. The “Pillars” of life are those things that told us we were worthwhile, loved, unique, capable; that we have what it takes.

Remove the Pillars of Life template (page 18) from your manual. Find a comfortable place to play; one that has a hard, stable surface to work on. You may prefer to sit with a cup of tea or coffee to feel more “at home”. Allocate enough uninterrupted time to do the play. Take a few deep breaths. Allow happy, encouraging and life affirming memories to come to mind. If unhappy memories come, dismiss them for now for the purposes of this exercise. These can be addressed using other 3d Simulation techniques at a later date.

Choose a figure to represent you, Place the figure on the “START” arrow. This represents the beginning of your life. Take the figure with both hands and begin to walk around the green pathway on the template. The pathway represents your life from its beginning (birth) to now. Slowly walk through your history chronologically. Keep walking and allow the memories “to come to you”. Continue looking at the stage and at your figure. Trust the process. Don’t try to “remember” events, they will come to you. You may need to start again a few times before the memories start to flow. Stop when you remember the first happy memory.

Depict your first memory using a figure or prop to represent the interaction with you at that time. Keep it simple. Linger there for a while and record the following information right beside the picture you created: • Age at that time • Context and situation • Name of the person/s involved • Principle feelings/emotions • Message I received using direct speech. E.g. “You can do it. I believe in you.” The person may not have said anything aloud to you but an important life-giving message was transferred to you as if it had been said: Write the message as you “heard” it using direct speech. Don’t write,I felt confident I could do it. Age: 5 years old Context: First day of Kindergarten with my Grandmother Feeling: Scared but secure holding my Granny’s hand Message: You can do it. I believe in you.

Remember, the memory that comes to mind may not always involve another person. You may have walked into someone’s home and heard a message something like, “You are safe here.” You may have just scaled a mountain and heard a message, “You are strong and capable.” This is your memory; unique to your own personal experience.

Continue walking along the pathway using the same figure you chose to represent you. Stop when another happy, life-giving memory comes to mind and depict that one using figures and props to interact with your figure. Record the details of the memory, as you did before, beside the new scene you have created. Continue the process until you come to the end of the pathway representing where you are today. If you don’t have enough space on the template, you can leave the figures on the template and continue on another piece of paper.

When you have finished, look at the overall picture you have created on the template. Focus on the beauty of the pillars of your life. Stimulate a sense of gratitude knowing that you have not walked alone. Find a Title for this picture as if it were a novel or a movie. Record the title on the template.

Life is not always happy. Place the figure representing you in the white box in the middle of the template, just below the cloud. Think of a moment/situation when you feel or have felt really bad, not-valued, less than capable, unloved or unlovable. Bend and shape the figure to represent how you feel. Stay with that feeling for a moment.

Coaching Accreditation Course 3d Simulation Technology Module 2