Coaching Accreditation Course 3d Simulation Technology Module 1 Communication & Engagement

1. Coaching with clarity Distance Education Coaching Accreditation Course 3d Simulation Technology Module 1 Communication & Engagement www.neuro-learning.com A division of Active Learning Centre International T: 0243413049 E: enquiries@neuro-learning.com

2. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Welcome! Welcome to the Coaching with Clarity Accreditation Program. Use this power point to guide you through the pages of your student manual. Click the space bar to move forward. When you see this icon, click on it with your mouse to watch the video of Dr. Carlos explaining the theory behind what you are learning. Click if you use Windows or if you use Mac. When you see this icon, it is time to reflect and write in your manual. When you see this image, take the time to read through the information on the page(s) of your manual.

3. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission This is Module 1 of the Coaching with Clarity Program. We invite you to continue your studies with us to become an accredited practitioner by completing the following: 6 course modules in total 30 hours of logged case-study work using the techniques 10 hours of peer supervision 10 hours of professional supervision Evaluation of professional competency by Dr Raimundo

4. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Take the time to read pages 3 & 4 of your manual. When you’re ready, click on the camera to meet Dr Carlos A Raimundo. When the movie is finished, click the X at the top right hand corner of the screen to return to the course.

5. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission The Coaching with Clarity program consists of : THEORY

6. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Take some time to peruse the outcomes for Module 1 on page 5 of your manual.

7. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission The Core Components of Effective Communication Communication links individuals and enables them to relate effectively as a group. Effective communication is essential in creating unity in group consciousness, corporate direction and pace. Dialogue is part of communication. Dialogue is not a monologue. Monologue is the “telling” of a message without incorporating a reply whereas dialogue needs at least two engaged participants playing complementary roles; alternating the sending and receiving of information. It’s a key tool for accessing corporate wisdom, testing agreed-upon assumptions and for coming up with definitions. Through dialogue people discover higher-order systems and link cause and effect within those systems. Dialogue establishes and strengthens interpersonal relationships and creates rapport between people who use these systems to achieve a common purpose. Effective dialogue is essential for the learning and transformation of both individuals and groups.

8. The Core Components of Effective Communication Diagnosis is crucial for clear communication to occur. It’s the basis for understanding and a platform from which to move towards appropriate solutions. Giving and receiving accurate feedback is vital in order for a relationship of trust to begin. People need to be confident that what they are communicating is being understood by others. Which of the aspects on page 6 have the most impact on your profession? Are there any other influences that come to mind?

9. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission We cannot know everything, but what we do know has to be true. If what we do know is true and relevant to the situation, it can be enough; the platform from which to start creating positive change. Carlos A Raimundo

10. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission The limitations of verbal communication Verbal communication relies heavily on: Memory of the progressive use of words and their context and Previous encounters with the same person or situation. Verbal communication is linear and relies on words and information being delivered sequentially, One word after the other In complex matters, the chance of error; that an incorrect or distorted image or concept could be introduced, is very high. This is because culture, language, background, gender, education etc, all contribute to the selection, articulation, hearing, and interpretation of the words used.

11. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Let’s look at Lisa’s situation “I am the project manager of a team of 25 people. The $20 Million project I am overseeing is behind schedule and over budget. There’s low team engagement and a high level of employee turnover. I have repeatedly complained about this to my boss but I feel like I’m operating alone. I can’t continue working like this. I have an uncooperative team and no support from management. Nobody really cares; apart from Joanne, who’s an absolute gem.” From the knowledge you have been given about Lisa’s situation at work, from her verbal communication, list Lisa’s concerns on page 7 of your manual.

12. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission How is the picture Lisa created here different from her verbal description? Record on page 8 in your manual. Three-dimensional communication Lisa was asked to use the Play of Life to communicate her current situation and then her ideal situation. Lisa made a pipe cleaner into a circle to represent her workload. Lisa’s Present Work Situation The Play of Life communicational method allows people to use symbolic images that display all the relevant pieces of information and people involved in a situation simultaneously. This three-dimensional ‘picture’ is not reliant on the person’s level of articulation, cultural framework or intellectual ability; it is a universal language of communication more closely associated with the way humans think. Very simply, The Play of Life makes communication more immediate, effective and efficient.

13. How is Lisa depicting herself in her “ideal” work situation? Record on page 8 of your manual. Lisa’s Ideal Work Situation Substantial changes in the way we behave and act towards other people come from shifts of insight and/or perception of the “problem” between us. The Play of Life creates a space for discovery; giving back some measure of control to the individuals in a practical, non-judgmental way. It allows us to look at the situation or dilemma from the outside, objectively, and in a safe environment. It gives us the time and space to do some lateral thinking and encourages us to find solutions that otherwise may have been difficult to see. Play of Life Communication is simultaneous and three-dimensional.

14. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission The Play of Life provides creative and innovative ways of relating by making communication clear. Carlos A Raimundo

15. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Who am I? The Concept of Self in Relation to Others

16. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission I told Freud he put people on a couch and isolated them. We don’t live on a couch; we live in groups from birth to death.  J.L. Moreno Who am I? The Concept of Self in Relation to Others. “The Power is between us” Carlos A Raimundo

17. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Describe the two different paradigms for looking at the concept of self on page 9 in your manual.

18. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Humans are mammals. Like every other mammal, humans rely on being connected to other humans in order to survive and thrive. We are physically hardwired to be interconnected. Innate to humans is the ability to assess whether an encounter with another is safe or dangerous. The assessment may be correct or erroneous but never-the-less we are programmed to protect ourselves and retreat from what we perceive to be unsafe.

19. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission We learn through experience but the way we anchor that learning into memory depends on the conditions and context of the learning. When we decide we want to do things differently; to transform our behaviours and responses, we need to feel supported, “contained”. Without social, emotional and spiritual “containers”, sustaining change is more difficult, if not impossible. “You will not enjoy long-term professional success simply by demonstrating expert technical knowledge and advice; you need engagement-the human factor… And this can be learnt.”Carlos A Raimundo In your own words, on page 10, write why engagement is vital to the coach-client relationship.

20. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission In the Pursuit of Happiness As humans, we seek to be satisfied; to be content. When the things we do, the environment we are in, the treatment we receive, the way we act does not fit with who we are, we perceive there is a gap - “something is missing”. We cannot handle “gaps”, the unexplained, the “not knowing’”. We look for ways to self-soothe; to create the perception of “I am in control”. We search for a reason to explain why it’s “natural” to feel the way do (“defence mechanisms”) and we also find ways to justify the way we act in response to those feelings.

21. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission We use Constructs to fill the gaps.

22. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission The constructs we create to be “happy and content” affect the way we live life. Read through the quotes below. • “I’m short-tempered at work because I’m underpaid.” • “If I don’t scream, the kids ignore me.” • “I stole the hotel towel because the tariff was ridiculously high.” • “I’m not happy in my marriage but you never get everything, it’s as good as it gets.” • “What else would you expect from a ___________ (You fill in the blank)” • “If I don’t keep my distance with my staff, they won’t respect me.” • “I’ll quit smoking/start dieting after I get through this rough patch.” • “I can’t help it, I’m an addict.” • “I should have waited ‘til Jupiter was aligned with Mars.” • “I’ll never be successful because I was abandoned/adopted/abused/bullied, ______.”

23. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission The way we live life at any given moment can be described as the “role” we play. For example, looking at the first quote, one could describe the role being played by that person, in that particular instance, as a “Resentful Justifier” This is called “Role Mapping”. Choose one of the quotes on page 11 on which to focus. Describe the role that person is playing using an adjective and a noun. Use the following guidelines to assist you. What is the person doing in that instance? E.g. defending How is s/he feeling while doing it? E.g. angry Name the role using an adjective and a noun. E.g. Angry Defender

24. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission If you haven’t already, this would be a good time to take a break. Think about what you have learned up to this point. Begin again when you are ready.

25. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Brain and Mind Metaphor In your manual on page 12, start on any dot and without lifting your pen, connect 10 dots. Dots = Brain Line = Mind

26. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission What is the difference between Brain and Mind and how is this relevant to clear communication? Record your thoughts on the bottom of page 12.

27. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Comparison of the different pictures that are created illustrates that, although we begin with the same pattern or physical layout, (eg each of our brains is constructed the same way with the same genetic layout or structure, natural growth), but the way we connect things is different, arising from the nurture we have received and the environment in which we developed emotionally. Carlos A Raimundo

28. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without content The Triune Brain and Implications for Communication, Engagement and Behaviour Think of a situation when you responded in a reactive way to someone or a time when someone reacted that way to you. Write on page 13 of your manual.

29. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without content Limbic System Think of a situation when you needed to be contained by someone and you were not or of a time when you did not contain someone who needed to be. Write on page 13 of your manual.

30. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission

31. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Neo-Cortex Complete pages 13 & 14 in your manual.

32. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission How do we bypass constructs? In order for alternative, creative solutions to be found, constructs have to be by-passed and other parts of the brain, including the Limbic System, must be integrated. Internal reality Question Verbal response Take a moment to read page 15.

33. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Now it’s time to “play”! Take out your kit and get ready for the next technique.

34. The Power of the First Step (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission

35. Use The Power of the First Step technique any time to help you… Make a relationship better. Identify where you are, where you want to be and the first step to making it happen. Make an important decision or life change. Get motivated when you feel “stuck” in a seemingly paralyzing situation. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission

36. Getting ready Remove the template (page 16) from your manual. Find a comfortable place to play; one that has a hard, stable surface to work on. You may prefer to sit with a cup of tea or coffee to feel more “at home”. Allocate enough uninterrupted time to do the play - one hour should be sufficient.

37. Jenny’s story (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Jenny’s story. You will notice Jenny’s story at the side of the screen. If you wish you can read what Jenny did (a true case) to get some insights into how another person used the technique to get clarity on her situation.

38. Clarify the topic (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Just relax. This is your time. Close your eyes and breath deeply three times. Think of a relationship you’d like to make better. Try to focus on one relationship for now. You can always come back with other relationships and situations in mind next time. Refer to Jenny’s story if you get stuck, otherwise just continue. • Jenny’s Story • “Where do I start? I’m not getting along with my husband or my son.“ • Jenny decides to focus firstly on her relationship with her 19 year-old son. She’s noticed he’s been hanging out with a bad crowd and she believes he’s using drugs. She tries to confront him almost daily but they just end up screaming at each other. Jenny feels unsupported by her husband because he just leaves the room or stays silent during the confrontations.

39. Let’s play! (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Place the template in front of you on a hard surface. This becomes the “stage” on which you will represent the issue or relationship you want to clarify.

40. Choose a figure from the kit that could represent you. The choice of figure is symbolic. It is not meant to look like you but to represent how you are feeling in this situation or relationship.

41. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Place the figure in the box marked “PRESENT” in a location that represents how you are feeling. (e.g. centre, back, front, side) Bend and shape the figure in a way that shows your current feeling. Use both hands to do this. (e.g. sitting, standing, laying down, hands up, head looking to the side). Jenny places herself facing the corner with her hands in a lifted position signaling frustration and despair.

42. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Choose a figure to represent the other person in the relationship. Looking at the stage, place the figure in a location and in a position that best represents the relationship he/she has with you. Jenny places her 20-year-old son in the corner facing away from her.

43. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Looking at the stage, choose a figure to represent anyone else who is relevant in this relationship. Locate him/her in a place and in a position on the board to represent how each one fits into the relationship. Jenny places her husband, the father of her son, beside her on the stage but facing him away from them.

44. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Looking at the stage, think about who else is relevant who is not represented in this situation. Consider the possibility of there being someone whose “presence” is noticeable or felt, even though he/she does not live with you? This person may even be deceased but his/her beliefs and messages are very much alive in your mind. Choose figures to represent any other significant others in this relationship. Locate them in a place and position that shows the role they play in relationship. Jenny places a figure on the stage. to represent her deceased mother. Even though she died three years ago, her criticisms of Jenny as a parent still plague Jenny.

45. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission What else is relevant? Looking at the stage, think about any issues that are impacting the relationship. Using props from the kit, represent those issues on the stage e.g debt, emotional separation, an addiction. When you are sure the most significant people and issues are represented on the stage, look at the picture you have created from different angles. Make any adjustments necessary until you are sure that the stage accurately portrays your present situation. Jenny places a circle using a pipe cleaner around herself, representing the way she feels trapped in her situation. She also places a ball in front of her husband to represent his “work” which she feels is of higher importance to him than the family.

46. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission I feel… Looking at the figure that represents you on the stage, what are you feeling in that situation? Record the feeling on the template. How long have you felt like this? Have you felt like this before? Jenny feels “alone, fearful and trapped”.

47. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Rotate the template so that you are looking at others from the view point of the figure representing you. What does that figure see from that position, literally? What are you doing? If this were a movie, what role are you playing? E.g. pleader, helper, accuser. Record the role on the template. Think of a word that describes the way you are playing the role. E.g. angry, powerless, desperate. Record the description of the role on the template. She writes that she is playing the role of a “Frustrated Nagger.”

48. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission I feel… Looking at the scene from different angles, focus on the most relevant person to you in this relationship? Imagine you are that person. Put yourself in his/her shoes and look around the stage. This is called Role Reversal. What are you feeling, as that person? Just keep that thought in your mind as you continue. When Jenny role reverses and views the scene through the eyes of her son, she feels isolated, out of control with no place to go.” When she steps into the shoes of her husband, she feels disconnected; not able to see what’s happening and not really wanting to turn and face the conflict.

49. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Looking again at the present situation you have represented on the stage, imagine this is a movie or a sculpture. What title would you give it? Write the title in the space provided on the template. Jenny chooses the title, “NO CONNECTION!”

50. (C) C Raimundo - R Ruthven. No part of this presentation may be copied or reproduced without permission Leave the figures as they are on the left “Present” stage. Now it’s time to dream! What type of relationship would you like to have? Picture the ideal in your mind and then choose a figure to represent you in your ideal. It does not have to be identical to the figure you used previously. Jenny chooses a figure like the one she used previously to represent herself.