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Conflict resolution series: INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

Conflict resolution series: INTERPERSONAL SKILLS. University Life Cafe. The challenge. Human inter-c ommunications can be complex and difficult. People live social lives, and there are endeavors which they share which require cooperation.

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Conflict resolution series: INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

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  1. Conflict resolution series: INTERPERSONAL SKILLS Conflict Resolution Series University Life Cafe

  2. The challenge • Human inter-communications can be complex and difficult. People live social lives, and there are endeavors which they share which require cooperation. • Communicating clearly with others is an important part of making one’s own needs and ideas known. They are critical for expressing beliefs and feelings. Conflict Resolution Series

  3. Key interpersonal skills • Knowing what you want • Expressing what you want • Listening to the other side • Collecting relevant information • Negotiating fairly • Declining possible solutions that are not optimal • Following through on promises Conflict Resolution Series

  4. fundamentals • Candor and trust • Clear follow-through • Accurate information exchange • Timeliness of information • Information security / non-leakage of data • Fair solutions Conflict Resolution Series

  5. Avoiding “aversive strategies” • Some types of communications are not conducive to positive and candid interactions. These are known as “aversive strategies.” • These may lead to challenges such as passive-aggressive communicating. These may lead to high emotions. These may cause fearfulness. These may result in “toxic” relationships. • These may lead to misunderstandings. Conflict Resolution Series

  6. Some aversive communications • Discounting—Suggesting that someone else’s ideas are not valid • Withdrawing / abandoning—Threatening to end a relationship or interaction if one doesn’t get one’s way • Threatening—Suggesting some sort of harm if the other side does not agree • Blaming—Attributing blame for a particular situation • Belittling / denigrating—Putting down someone else Conflict Resolution Series

  7. Some aversive communications (cont.) • Guilt-tripping—Suggesting that the other person is a moral failure • Derailing—Switching attention from the other person’s feelings and needs • Taking away—Withdrawingsupport as a punishment for something said (McKay, Fanning & Paleg, 1994, as cited in McKay, Wood, & Brantley, 2007, pp. 189 – 190) Conflict Resolution Series

  8. The importance of calm • Maintaining a sense of calm is helpful for communications. It aids in clarity. It also keeps the tone comfortable enough for people to share their ideas. Conflict Resolution Series

  9. references McKay, M., Wood, J.C., & Brantley, J. (2007). The dialectical behavior therapy skills workbook. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications. 189 – 190. Conflict Resolution Series

  10. Connection to counseling services • Counseling ServicesKansas State University232 English/Counseling Services BldgManhattan, KS 66506-6503785-532-6927counsel@k-state.edu Conflict Resolution Series

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