Conflict resolution series: staying calm in a conflict

1. Conflict resolution series: staying calm in a conflict Conflict Resolution Series University Life Cafe

2. The challenge • Conflicts that are unaddressed can escalate into high tensions. It’s rare that conflicts can be successfully resolved while one is in a state of high tension or anxiety. The old saying about calm heads prevailing is quite true. • This slideshow addresses how to get to a point of calm regarding a conflict. Conflict Resolution Series

3. Awareness of the conflict • It helps to be aware that a conflict may be brewing. • If a conflict erupts in a surprising way, that may be an indicator that insufficient situational awareness existed. This may mean that communications channels have not been as open as possible, or that there hasn’t been sufficient concern. • Building communications mechanisms to understand when a conflict may be brewing would be helpful. Conflict Resolution Series

4. Not misrepresenting the other side • A knee-jerk reaction to others who disagree with oneself is to paint them in a negative light. One may conduct false attributions about others’ identities, values, or interests—in a negative way. • Disengaging from angry emotions may help one be more accurate about understanding others’ ideas, personalities, interests and values. Conflict Resolution Series

5. Accepting differences • It may help to respect the validity of others’ stances. • Just because people disagree does not mean that they are a threat. Just because people disagree doesn’t mean that they are lesser. • Accepting differences of opinion and approach and values may be an important step in understanding others and moving towards a potential solution. Conflict Resolution Series

6. The need for De-escalation • When a conflict occurs, some actions may make it worse: angry exchanges, baiting, name-calling, threats of retaliation or violence, and accusations. It’s a good idea to de-escalate a confrontation. After all, at some point, the shared mutual interests between parties may mean future collaboration or at least co-existence. Conflict Resolution Series

7. Methods of de-escalation • Back away from the point of conflict. If this means physically leaving a situation, that may be optimal. • Restrain oneself from inflammatory or accusatory language. • Leave the issue of resolution to a later time when cooler heads may prevail. • Use opportunities to listen to understand the other sides. Show some understanding and willingness to try to address the situation. Conflict Resolution Series

8. Analyze the situation calmly • Take some time to analyze what happened. • Research the interests of the various parties. • Be willing to listen to all sides to get a clearer understanding of how the conflict came to be and how these issues may be addressed and potentially resolved. Conflict Resolution Series

9. Neutral territory • Arrange to meet in neutral territory to address the differences. • Bring in a third-party negotiator if that may help the situation, and if all sides agree that that may be a good way to handle the situation. Conflict Resolution Series

10. Analysis of shared interests • Look at the shared interests between oneself and the other parties. • Try to find situations that will benefit all members. • Determine a BATNA (best alternative to a negotiation agreement). • Articulate your own interests. Conflict Resolution Series

11. Grounds for negotiation • Build integrity. • Build a sense of earned trust among the parties. • Only agree to solutions that one can follow through on. • Create solutions that may address issues well in the short-term but that also has a positive principled foundation for future interactions. Conflict Resolution Series

12. Connection to counseling services • Counseling ServicesKansas State University232 English/Counseling Services BldgManhattan, KS 66506-6503785-532-6927counsel@k-state.edu Conflict Resolution Series