Relationships

1. Relationships • Identify opportunities and possible challenges in using the material across the school • Discuss ideas as to how progress and impact may be measured

2. Relationships explores feelings within the context of our important relationships including family and friends develops knowledge, understanding and skills in 3 key social and emotional aspects of learning: self-awareness managing feelings empathy. focus throughout the theme on helping children understand the feelings associated with that of loss

3. Relationships Week 1: Changing an unfair situation Week 2: Being pleased for someone's achievements Week 3: Telling the truth, saying sorry or making amends Week 4: Helping someone who is feeling sad or lonely

4. Relationships – what is it all about? • It is about being the ‘good Samaritan’? • Does every moment count? • Is it ever ‘ok’ to walk on by? • What is emotional safety?

5. Relationships – what is it all about? Requires self esteem I have something to offer Imapcts on: self esteem self worth mental health

6. Divorce rate: England & Wales fell for the 2nd consecutive year by 7% to 12.2% per 1000 married population in 2006 divorce rate is now at its lowest level since 1984 69% divorces in 2006 granted to the wife All divorces: behaviour most common fact proven http://www.statistics.gov.uk/cci/nugget.asp?id=170

7. Feelings … summary feelings disbelief shock, denial, disbelief recognising the loss yearning, anger, guilt, sadness, despair, pain, distress realisation sadness, hopelessness, depression acceptance the full range of feelings!

8. Staff / Green What have been our losses? Which have been the worst? Do you ever ‘get over it’?

9. Staff What are the losses our children face? What are the ‘worst things’ that could happen? What are our options?

10. KS1 groups GameWhat could I do? …What should I do?

11. Red - FS1 Baby Bear “Baby Bear, Baby Bear Sleeping in the wood What lovely honey's in your jar! Mmmm, mmm, (rub your tummy) How I’d like it in my tummy!” “Wake up Baby Bear, Wake up Baby Bear Your honey’s gone”

13. Red Life cycle - sunflowersbegin to develop home school ‘family’ activities Introducing death Finding a dead spider or insect: what has happened to it? will it ever come alive again? Contrast with a living creature: what will happen if I stamp on it?

14. Red Fair or unfair? Red book p24 Introducing challenging concepts Can we always change things? Should things always be ‘fair’? Q what might a 5 yr old say?

15. DVD clip Watch out for Vern & listen to what he has to say

17. Red Circle time What would they say? How can we make someone feel better? when they are sad or cross? when something isn’t fair?

18. Blue circle time – volunteer to lead Walk around stop say hello say what makes you happy

19. Blue Questions for reflection & enquiry confident to explore emotions clear boundaries • Why do some people have more possessions than others? • What would happen if everyone was exactly like everyone else? • Can you be proud and jealous of someone at the same time?

20. Blue How would you feel? p14 Read the text on the cards and think about how your pupils would feel What could you do as a teacher / school / ? to help address these feelings?

21. Blue Questions for reflection & enquiry p19 • Is it OK to make someone do something they don’t want to? • Do you think one person can own another person or animal? • Should you stay with someone just to please them? • Is it ever OK to leave someone who loves you? • Can you love more than one person at once?

22. Yellow 2 types of innocence • innocence of ‘guilt’ • innocence of knowledge Innocence can only be taken away

23. Yellow How guilty would you feel? p7 If you: • stole a rubber • stole £10 • forgot to pay for something at the supermarket • didn't’ turn up for a match and the team were depending on you • said something nasty or unkind about your friend behind their back • left something out, knowing it was dangerous (e.g. leads trailing) and someone tripped over it

24. Yellow Jack’s choice resource Use the resources to get encourage children to: articulate their view points Consider options and consequences (good or bad) …there is always a choice

25. Yellow conscience What is a conscience? Is it important? Is my conscience the same as yours?

26. Yellow Taking responsibility p19 What could you say? What would you say? What should you say?

27. Yellow circle time There’s a chair on my right… and I would like … to sit in it because … .

28. Yellow sending off Lynford p27 How do we reach out to those who hurt? How is this different for adults? How often do those around us not say anything for fear of ‘saying the wrong thing’?

29. Green I just don’t get it p6 Circle time Who it cool and who is not? Q How do you feel when you make a mistake?

30. Green - blushometer p7 & p13 When you think that it can’t get any worse … it matters because: who is there / who sees how much we care about what they think or value their opinion whether what we did was intentional how bad we think what we have done is… have we ‘let ourselves down’ …even if no-oneknows!

31. Green What can you do when you feel embarrassed? p8 What can our children do? (see page 8!) What can we do as adults? Do we ever just ‘deal with it’?

32. From teasing to bullying A slippery slope! Use words to put down not build up Facial expressions (rolling eyes)

33. When Arthur got into town he was out of breath. It was a long walk but he needed to go to town if he was going to get a present for his grandson. Arthur wanted to get him a book about motorbikes, because that’s what the boy really loved.Arthur thought he would sit down on the seat in the square near the memorial to those who died in the war. He often sat there on his way to the shops. Today there was a group of lads round the seat.

34. He leant on his stick but didn’t feel he should stay. One of the lads was standing in the middle. He was talking; the others were laughing. He was dressed all in black with chains hanging from his clothes. His nose was pierced and his head was shaved, except for a stripe down the middle.Arthur turned quickly away. He didn’t want them to see him. Perhaps they might come over and steal his pension. He walked to the bookshop and went to the back to find a book. He picked one up. It looked about right, with a big bike on the cover.

35. He opened the book. It fell open to show a glamour shot of the bike with a young woman in a bikini. Arthur was flustered. He quickly shut the book, in a hurry to put it back on the shelf. As he did so he lost his balance and fell with a crash to the floor. He lay there on his back and thought, ‘Have I hurt myself?’Then he remembered the book. There it was lying open with the picture on show. He couldn’t get up and he couldn’t reach it. What would people think? There was someone coming over.

36. It was the young man in black. He looked at Arthur. He looked at the book, shut it and slipped it on the shelf. ‘Are you OK grandad?’ Arthur nodded and started to explain, ‘The book … I didn’t know it would have …’‘What book? I didn’t see a book,’ the young man said as he carefully lifted Arthur to his feet and gently helped him on to a chair that someone had brought. ‘I know you can’t judge a book by its cover,’ he said softly, with a smile and a wink.

37. Feelings … summary feelings disbelief shock, denial, disbelief recognising the loss yearning, anger, guilt, sadness, despair, pain, distress realisation sadness, hopelessness, depression acceptance the full range of feelings!

38. Green Where are they? p23

39. Family follow my leader p86 Follow my leader Choose someone to follow … but try to keep them from guessing Knight & Shield Try to keep between your Knight and your shield … but try to keep them from guessing

40. Staff / Green Forgiving Self forgiving Mediation Restoration

41. http://download.teachers.tv/Wk4707EGC2130001A.mov

42. 7 Pledges • Always be myself • Always help others • Always treat animals with kindness • Always resolve conflict without fighting • Never reject anyone because of how he or she looks • Never take drugs • Never smoke cigarettes

43. 4 rules • Open 1 door a day for another person • Ask permission before touching another person • Say only positive things • Address each other with appropriate names

44. Assessing the impact of your work • What do children do when they feel hurt? • What do staff do when they feel hurt? • How do you display information? • What do your children tell you about how confident they are to deal with their feelings? • Move from deficit model – number of fights, exclusions, time out …get the quotes, see the actions • …

45. http://www.itsnotyourfault.org/default.html http://www.childbereavement.org.uk/ http://rd4u.org.uk/index.html http://www.childline.org.uk/0800 1111 http://ncb.org.uk/ http://partnershipforchildren.org.uk/

46. Email seal@medway.gov.uk Forums http://www.medway.gov.uk/schoolforums/ National Strategy site http://www.bandapilot.org.uk/

47. 7 Social Personal Self awareness Managingfeelings Motivat ion Empathy Social skills

48. The colours of SEAL