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Relationships. The games people play!. Good Relationships Require:. Open, honest communication Reasonable expectations & demands Concern about the other’s well being Freedom for both individuals to be themselves. What inhibits relationships?.
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Relationships The games people play!
Good Relationships Require: • Open, honest communication • Reasonable expectations & demands • Concern about the other’s well being • Freedom for both individuals to be themselves
What inhibits relationships? • Underestimate the changes we need to make but push hard for another to change. • Not liking ourselves • Shyness that inhibits closeness & intimacy. • Playing games that drive others away.
Destructive needs • Expressing hostility or putdowns • Expressing self-hatred • Exaggerating one’s assets • Exaggerating another’s faults
The games people play! • A game is a dishonest interaction designed to deflate someone’s ego while boosting another's. • Games have three steps: 1. The “hook” or set-up- looks legit but isn’t 2. Secret or destructive motive-hidden agenda 3. Unhealthy outcome: this usually degrades the player himself, or the other person. • Games are ALWAYS destructive to relationships. • The games we play tend to reinforce our expectations.
Stop the game! • First recognize games involve deception. Try & see what is REALLY happening. • Second realize that we are all frustrated & angry at times. Games usually involve LOTS of putdowns. • Now you must be the adult: recognize what is happening and how the “payoff” occurs. • Then consciously refuse to play and stop the manipulation.