Anyone You Want Me To Be

1. Sariah Donnahoo Behavioral Analyst Anyone You Want Me To Be Utah Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force

2. Current STD Stats • HPV: passed thru both oral and genital contact • 2008, 39% of oral cancers linked to HPV • Gardasil vaccine protects against 4 different types of HPV, a lot of other high-risk HPV viruses out there. • Chlamydia is currently the most commonly reported infectious disease in the US. • Teens more likely to contract Chlamydia than the flu • Most people infected do not have any symptoms

3. Why are 48% of teens choosing to have sex? • I'm curious - I want to experiment/ get experience. • I just want to get this first time out of the way. • Sex is no big deal. Everyone is doing it. • Every one of my friends has had sex - I'm the only hold out. I feel like a weirdo. • The popular kids in my school are the ones who have sex - I want to fit in with them. • My partner really wants me to do it - he/ she says that it'll bring us closer together/ prove my love/ show my commitment.

4. Why are 48% of Teens Choosing to Have Sex? • There's nothing to do in this town but have sex. • I won't really know how compatible we are until we've had sex. • My parents are so controlling and strict - they'd freak out if they knew I was having sex. • We've already had sex once - I can't very well say no now. • It's just a ”friends-with-benefits” thing - what's the big deal?

5. What Do Utah Schools Teach? • Abstinence only • Communicable Diseases/HIV AIDS education • Annual presentation about adoption • Prohibited from instruction in: • Intricacies of intercourse, sexual stimulation • Homosexuality • Contraceptive methods or devices

6. Some Common Myth’s about Sex, Pregnancy and Protection:

7. Separating Fact From Fiction • What is sex? • Believe it or not, there is a debate going on….. • Or al sex • Anal sex • Intercourse (“traditional sex”?) • Understanding terminology • How do you define virginity? • “Docking” • “Bag piping” • Pulling out • Penetration?

8. Seperating Fact From Fiction • What does having sex mean? • Love • Commitment • Having sex creates an environment of love/commitment. (Fact or fiction?) • The only thing the physical act of sex produces is hormones, disease and pregnancy.

9. Generation X • Half of parents, marriages end in divorce • What do their children learn about commitment? • What are their perceptions of long-term relationships? • Do they feel emotional intimacy is necessary when deciding on a sexual relationship (or futile since no one stays together anyways?) • What dialogue has been passed from the parent (divorcee) to child?

10. Hooking up? Or Unhooked? • A generation of teens wanting sex without the drag of a relationship. • Girls often times more aggressive • Compete with other girls for the “hot guys” • Better to be predator than prey? • Lady pimps: ability to attract a guy, have sex then walk away with no emotion • If not looking for love/commitment, what are they getting out of their sexual interactions?

11. Myth vs. Reality • Compliant victims • Only 5% of victims violently assaulted • Online victims--95% knew age of offender, why they were meeting and went willingly • Target age 13-15 • Reason for age of consent laws

12. Victimization; Online and Real Life • Enticing a minor over the internet • Attempt to engage in sexually explicit/depictive conversation with a minor via computer. • People known in real-life; teachers, coaches, family friends. • Relationships cultivated via internet/text • Grooming Behaviors

13. The Facade • Easier to say things in writing vs face to face • Loss of physical cues (voice, eye contact, body language) • Loss of inhibitions, insecurities, self consciousness • No guarantee who you are talking to on the other end

14. Spencer’s story • Age 10 finds pornography, learns that erections accompany stimulation • Age 11 discovers masturbation • Age 12 pornography helps achieve erections to masturbate more often • Age 13 wants to see nude girls his age and to compare his genitals with other boys, finds child pornography, confesses to religious authority. • Age 15 masturbates often with child pornography • Age 16 masturbates, dates, tries to get girls to pet, some do, confesses, returns to patterns • Age 16 turns to homosexual and other deviant images to masturbate, watches sex videos • Age 19 repents and serves church mission, masturbates occasionally on his mission • Age 21 returns to extreme perverse pornography • Age 22 marries a young woman, is addicted to infant pornography and diaperism, sex/intimacy issues with his wife. • Age 23 prison

15. Spencer wouldn’t tell us: • Whether he used the web to find kids for sex • 40% of child pornography offenders are dual offenders and an additional 15% have attempted web enticement • Whether he had multiple child sex partners • 85% of incarcerated child pornography offenders –not previously identified as sexually active with children – admit to molesting children and have molested an average of 13.5 kids before being caught with child pornography • We don’t know how often Spencer had sexual intercourse or sodomy with children and those kids are not being helped

16. Why pornography is dangerous • Unleashes serotonin, endorphins, adrenaline and dopamine • Sexual preferences formed in adolescence • Compulsive and progressively unsatisfying • Creates arousal patterns that conflict with healthy marital intimacy • Lays the foundation for a divorce long before courtship and marriage

17. Not Your “Mother’s” Porn • Society is more sex oriented • More accessible • Seeks YOU out • Spam, pop ups etc • Anonymity • More graphic images • Interactive (webcams)

18. Things To Consider… • Development of child/adolescent brain • Chemical effects of endorphins altering brain development. • Development of attraction during adolescence. • Introduction of sexual sensations at earlier ages • Teens have greater impulse to escalate behavior.

19. File-sharing programs Peer 2 Peer

20. Peer to Peer programs P2P programs BearShare BitTorrent IMesh Morpheus WinMX Ares eDonkey eMule Guncleus Kazaa KCeasy K-litePro Limewire Phex Shareaza Soulseek Zultrax P2P

21. Let’s Talk About Sex-ting

22. Sexting • Term defined by the media—not teens! • Definition: the act of sending sexually explicit pictures over digital media. • May also have connotations to explicit acts exchanged via text (no image) message.

23. History • Margaret, Duchess of Argyll • Congressional Scandals • Polaroids

24. Motivations • Groomed/manipulated • Pressured/Coerced • Show interest/commitment • Attention

25. Teen Role Rodels

26. Teen Role Models

27. The Consequences • Digital image replicating for-ev-er • Unable to control who has access to images • Possible criminal investigation • Some images posted to websites frequented by pedophiles. • Emotional implications

28. Sexual Exploitation of a Minor76-5a-3.. (1) A person is guilty of sexual exploitation of a minor:(a) when he knowingly produces, distributes, possesses, or possesses with intent to distribute, material or a live performance depicting:(i) a nude or partially nude minor for the purpose of causing sexual arousal of any person; or(ii) any minor's engagement in sexual conduct alone or with another person; or(b) if he is a minor's parent or legal guardian and knowingly consents to or permits that minor to be sexually exploited under Subsection (1)(a) above.(2) Sexual exploitation of a minor is a second degree felony.

29. 76-10-1204. Distributing pornographic matierial-Penalites 4a) An offense under this section committed by a person 18 yrs or older is a 3rd degree felony i) minimum $1000 fine, incarceration (w/o suspension) no less than 30 days b)An offense committed by a person 16-17, class A misdemeanor c) An offense committed by a person under 16, class B misdemeanor If a person younger than 18 has previously committed the offense, the person is guilty of a 3rd degree felony, for each subsequent offense

30. Educate Parents on how to......... • Talk to their teens about sexual behaviors and possible emotional/physical consequences. • Set limits with their teen about when or how often the phone can be used. • Discuss the threat of sexual predators. • Talk about pornography. • Talk about the dangers of driving and using the cell phone? • Discuss with their teen the potential problem of sending and/or receiving sexually explicit messages. • Talk about the potential problem of sending and or receiving messages that are hurtful to others.

31. Trust, but verify

32. How to protect your family • Monitor computers and phones • Create a family internet policy • Nothing is private • We will not hide or change on-line activities • We will only access the internet at home or monitored locations • We will only communicate with approved persons • We will ask permission before completing forms or sharing info • We will avoid improper content, i.e., nudity, violence, hate, drug and criminal content • We will not download illegally • We will not defeat monitors and filters

33. Resources • www.siecus.org • www.cdc.gov • www.stayteen.org • www.netsmartz.com • Unhooked: How Young Woman Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both. by Laura Sessions Stepp