RELATIONSHIPS

1. RELATIONSHIPS

2. RELATIONSHIPS A survey of friendship was done and people were asked how important certain qualities are in a friend. The figures below show what qualities people considered important or very important.

3. RELATIONSHIPS: CULTURAL AND GENDER EXPECTATIONS We have so many names; first names, family names and affectionate names from those who love us. We also have family role names such as: auntie, tannie, sisi, papa, tata, bhuti, moeksie, ouma, oupa, gogo, baba, mama There are certain expectations which accompany these names One day you may have role names which are titles such as Doctor, Minister, Public Relations Officer, Principal, Blockman, Cashier, Goal Keeper, Health Officer. These titles also suggest a certain role that you have within a community and the kind of professional relationship you will have with other people.

4. RELATIONSHIPS: CULTURAL AND GENDER EXPECTATIONS • Identity is another way of describing “the person who i am” • Relationship names and role names form a positive part of our identity. • COMPLETE THE SENTENCE “I AM” IN AS MANY WAYS AS POSSIBLE

5. RELATIONSHIPS: CULTURAL AND GENDER EXPECTATIONS • Our culture and gender also play a part in our identity. • Consider the identity of 2 young married women. A young indian bride may be expected to live with her husbands family and work in their home. A bride from another culture may live with her husband only and expect him to share the housework.

6. RELATIONSHIPS • Hopefully, most of the ways in which you identified yourself in the previous activity were positive. • Sometimes we do not have a positive view of ourselves • E.g. I am fat, I am lazy, I am ugly • Some people think only in stereotypes about certain cultural, religious, social or gender identities. • Stereotypes are identities or labels which have developed according to the roles and values of society

7. RELATIONSHIPS & POWER Power in relationships is related to status, wealth, age and gender. In work relationships employers have power over employees. In parent-child relationships, parents usually hold power. Power can be influenced by history: in apartheid South Africa , whites had power and priviledge over all other race groups. Cultural expectations can affect power relationships: some woman are not allowed to work or extend their education because they have to stay at home and look after their husbands land and children. Social status also gives a person power: wealthy or well-known people may be powerful. Some people have power because others fear them.

8. RELATIONSHIPS & POWER Power plays a big role in the relationships between man and woman. It affects them on a personal, social and political level. South Africa has a patriarchal society. This means that the man is the head of the family. Men make the decisions both inside and outside the homes, they have power and authority In many societies, females are regarded as inferior to males

9. RELATIONSHIPS & POWER When people are part of any set of relationships, they tend to arrange themselves into hierachies A hierarchy is a system in which people are placed according to their power and importance Take your school as an example: At the top is the principal Then Head of Departments Then teachers Prefects Learners

10. RELATIONSHIPS & POWER • Every member of a hierachy has his/her own duties and responsibilities. Those who are lower down the hierachy are expected to respect and listen to those above them • Those who are higher are expected to protect and guide those who are below • Hierachies usually work well because everybody knows what is expected from him/her • Sometimes people near the top of the hierachy abuse their power, they use it to bully, dominate and control others.

11. RELATIONSHIPS & POWER • Gender inequality can result in the abuse of power. Some men use a position of power to act in ways that contribute to social problems such as domestic and sexual violence, but others are trying to address these issues.

12. GENDER, POWER & ABUSE Domestic and sexual violence Rape is an act of violence and an abuse of power, and it is seen as a serious crime in South Africa. Rape means sex without consent. Instances of Domestic violence has increased. More and more woman are abused physically, emotionally, psychologically.

13. What exactly is ‘domestic violence’? • Domestic violence is any form of physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, psychological  and/or economic abuse,  or any other behaviour that causes harm to a person’s safety, health or wellbeing. Domestic violence can be defined as any controlling or abusive behaviour between those in a domestic relationship which causes harm to a person’s safety, health, or well-being. Example: Husband beating his wife, child being molested by parent, wife running-down her husband etc

14. In what ways does domestic violence impact the victim? • Domestic violence impacts on the victim in the following ways:  • Low self-esteem • Thoughts of suicide • Depression • Death • Projection of  abusive tendencies on people around you • Alcohol and drugs • Bullying and stealing • Aggression • Poor health • Poor work performance • Poor concentration

15. What laws are there to protect people against domestic violence? • The following laws are available for protection: • Domestic Violence Act  1161998 • Child care  Act 382005 as amended • Criminal Procedure Act 511977 • Police Service Act 681999  • Bill of Rights as enshrined in the Constitution of South Africa

16. Where can I go for help? • The following resources may be utilized to report incidents of domestic violence: • FAMSA National Directorate (011) 975 7106 • Sexual Offences Courts (012) 319 4000 • Legal Aid Board (012) 401 9200 • Department of Social Development  (012) 328 4026 • Lawyers for Human Rights (012) 320 4026 • Directorate Gender (012) 307 2990