Singlehood,Cohabitation, Civil Unions, and Other Options

1. Singlehood,Cohabitation,Civil Unions,and Other Options Chapter 9

2. The Single Option Today more people are choosing not to marry living together raising children alone Many people delay marriage while they are pursuing education preparing for a job spending more time in other activities

3. Median Age at First Marriage On average, men are older than women at first marriage. The median age at first marriage has increased over time. 1970: women 21, men 23 2003: women 25, men 27

4. The Single Option Single adults include Voluntary temporary singles are open to marriage but place lower priority on searching for mates. This includes cohabitating couples. Voluntary stable singles include people who are not married and are satisfied with that choice. This includes never married as well as previously married who do not want to remarry. Involuntary temporary singles are those who would like to be married and are actively seeking mates. This includes widowed, divorced, and never married. Involuntary stable singles are primarily older divorced, widowed, and never married people who wanted to marry or remarry but did not find a mate and now accept their single status. People�s positions in these categories can change over time.

5. Single Adults in Later Life Only 3% of men and women age 65 and older have never married. Aging unmarried women are typically seen as �over the hill.� Aging single men are �mature� and �distinguished.� Older women are more likely than older men to remain single after divorce or widowhood, because they are caring for aging parents. Never marrieds can be lonely but also can value their independence.

6. Home Alone More than 90% of Americans marry at least once However, more than 25% of Americans live alone 15% of women and 11% of men live alone. 31% of older Americans live alone. On average, women live 5 years longer than men, and older women are more likely than men to live alone. Many singles choose to live alone because they can afford it. our values emphasize individualism. Americans are living longer and healthier lives, and so can live independently. people are postponing marriage or deciding not to marry.

7. Home Alone

8. Macro Reasons for Singlehood War, technology, and social movements Economic Factors Gender Roles Demographic Influences Social Class Residence Nonmarital childbearing

9. Micro Reasons for Singlehood Delaying marriage while waiting for �true love� Being independent Enjoying close relationships with friends and families Many men don�t want to get married Less pressure to get married in order to have children Fearing divorce Lower health or attractiveness

10. Racial and Ethnic Singles Blacks are more likely than whites and Latinos to be single. The shortage of marriageable African American men is due to poor employment conditions, occupational hazards, and many young urban black men in prison or jail. There are more college-educated black women than men, and they may not be willing to �marry down.� Singlehood is increasing among Latinos. The Latino population is younger than other populations. Many postpone marriage for economic reasons. Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders have some of the lowest never married rates. Research suggests a strong belief in marriage and family. American Indian women are more likely than men to be single because they are separated, widowed, or divorced.

11. Myths about singlehood Singles are tied to their mother�s apron strings. vSingles and marrieds have similar relationships with parents. Singles are selfish and self-centered. v Singles often make more time for friends and are more active in the community than marrieds. Singles are well off financially. v More singles than marrieds live at or below the poverty level. Singles are happier. v Singles are more likely to be lonely and to be depressed when alone. There is something wrong with unmarried people. v Many singles feel that the disadvantages of marriage outweigh the benefits.

12. Cohabitation Cohabitation is a living arrangement in which two unrelated people who are not married live together and usually have a sexual relationship. U.S. Census Bureau term: POSSLQ The number of heterosexual unmarried couple households in the U.S. has increased from 0.4 million in 1960 to 5 million in 2004. About 11% of unmarried-partner households are gay men or lesbians. Most cohabiting relationships are short-lived about 1/2 end within one year. over 90% end by the fifth year. 44% result in marriage.

13. Cohabitation

14. Cohabitation Types of cohabitation Dating cohabitation occurs when a couple spends a great deal of time together and eventually decides to move in together. Serial cohabitation refers to living with one partner for a time and then with another. Premarital cohabitation occurs when the couple is testing the relationship before making a commitment to marriage. Trial marriage is when the partners want to see what marriage might be like; partners are less certain about their relationship than those in premarital cohabitation. Substitute marriage is a long term commitment between two people without a legal marriage. partners may be separated but legally married to someone else. they may be divorced and reluctant to marry. they may feel that a legal ceremony is irrelevant.

15. Who cohabits and why? Most cohabiters are between 25 and 44. By age 30, half of U.S. women have cohabited. The highest cohabitation rates are among American Indians and African Americans (17% for each group) and lowest for Asian Americans (5%). Cohabitation is more common among those with lower education and income. Those who are more religious are less likely to cohabit.

16. Who is living together?

17. Benefits and Costs of Cohabitation Benefits: Emotional security. Relationship can be dissolved without legal complications. Postponing marriage lowers likelihood of divorce. People can find out how much they really care about each other. Older people can receive caregiving usually provided by spouses. Cohabitants don�t have to deal with in-laws. Children in cohabitating relationships often have same benefits as two parent families. Costs: Few legal rights. Loss of identity or feelings of being trapped. Women in cohabiting relationships do more of the cooking and household tasks than in many married couples. Weaker level of commitment to the relationship, lower happiness, more alcohol problems, more unfaithfulness. Dilutes intergenerational ties. U.S. laws don�t specify cohabitants� responsibilities and rights, e.g. child custody payments.

18. Does cohabitation lead to better marriages? Cohabitation does not lead to better marriages. Divorce rates are higher for those who cohabit than for those who do not live together before marriage. Divorce rates for white women who cohabited are higher than for black and Mexican American women who cohabited. The selection effect (cohabiters having different characteristics than non-cohabiters) suggests that some cohabitants may become poor marriage partners or put less effort into the relationship, which may lead to divorce. According to the cohabitation experience effect, cohabiters may view relationships as temporary and leave a marriage. The inertia effect says cohabitating couples may drift into marriage rather than making a conscious commitment.

19. Cohabitation and Children Since 1960, the number of cohabiting couples with children has gone up 900%. Nearly half of all children will spend some time in a cohabiting family before age 16. Cohabitation can be negative if parents are poor or unhappy. �Social fathers� (mothers� boyfriends) are less involved with children than are married fathers. Children in cohabiting households experience more domestic violence are more likely to be poor live in households with more spent on adult goods and less on child-related goods, such as health and education have more academic, emotional, and behavioral problems are more likely to experience the breakup of the parents� relationship

20. Cohabitation and Law Seven states prohibit cohabitation, though laws are rarely enforced. Unmarried couples and children have little legal protection. Separate ownership of assets is cohabitants� best protection. Health insurance plans rarely cover an unmarried partner. Unmarried partners will not inherit if there is no will. Many attorneys recommend that cohabitants have a contract.

21. A Global View of Cohabitation Cohabitation is common in Latin America and the Caribbean. Cohabitation is less common in Africa and Asia. Cohabitation is still frowned upon in some southern European countries. In Britain, over 75% of first partnerships are cohabiting. In Australia, 71% of couples live together before marriage. Cohabitation is highest in industrialized countries.

22. Gay and Lesbian Couples Because legal marriage is rare, most homosexuals in committed relationships must cohabit. 29% of gay men and 44% of lesbians have steady romantic partners. Most gay men and lesbians want an enduring love relationship. The majority of gay and lesbian couples report having equal power in a relationship. Conflict is experienced in the same areas as heterosexual couples, including power, personal flaws, intimacy, and physical absence. Many racial-ethnic minority families have strong extended family systems and religious values which are less accepting of gay and lesbian couples.

23. Gay Marriage The Defense of Marriage Act (1996) bans federal benefits for spouses unless there is �a legal union between one man and one woman as husband and wife.� Same-sex couples can enter into civil unions (domestic partnerships), allowing some legal benefits. 31% of employers (mostly large companies) and 74% of the 50 most prestigious colleges offer domestic-partner benefits. Many same-sex couples argue that the inability to marry results in treatment as second-class citizens. In 2004, Massachusetts became the 1st state to legalize same-sex marriage, though this could be overturned. Worldwide, the number of countries legalizing same-sex marriage has grown. 88% of Americans say homosexuals should have equal rights in the workplace, but only 39% say same-sex marriages should be legalized.

24. Communal Living Arrangements Communes are collective households where children and adults from different families live together. Adults may be married or not. Communes vary in economic sharing, sex, and decision making. Most communes are short-lived. Contemporary examples of communal living include Fraternities and sororities Co-Abode, which matches low-income single mothers in subsidized housing Older people electing to live together rather than moving in with children or to a nursing home