Verbal and N onverbal Messages

1. Verbal and Nonverbal Messages Rebekah Andrus and Kilie Keddington

2. Verbal messages P. 92-93 What the manager said. What the manager meant. • Your performance was below par last quarter. I really expected more out of you. • I’d like that report as soon as you can get it to me. • You are going to have to try harder, but I know you can do it! • I need that report within a week.

3. Clarity and ambiguity P. 93-94 • Equivocal Terms- Those with two different, but equally acceptable or common meanings also known as misunderstandings. • Example: You agree to meet a Co-worker at dinner. She is across the Globe and she thinks dinner is around 2 where as here we think dinner is Around 6 or 7. Miscommunication Leads to frustration on both sides.

4. clarity P. 94-95 Low-level abstractions High-level abstractions • Specific, and concrete statements that refer directly to objects or events that can be observed. • Statement • The job will take a little longer • Cover a broader range of possible objects or events without describing them in much detail. • Clarification • How much longer: hours? Days? Weeks?

5. Slang P. 95 • Slang is alright to use with friends and family, but when you are trying to impress your boss or clients try to stay away from slang language. • Examples • Dude • Bro • Sup • Sick • Dope (sweet)

6. Jargon P. 95-96 • Time saver • A certain amount of jargon has its value for outsiders as well. Speakers who sprinkle their comments with jargon will appear more credible to some listeners. • Brief snappy or roll off the tongue. Examples: LOL- Laugh out Loud BFF-Best friends forever TTYL- Talk to you later

7. Ambiguous Language P. 96-97 Brute Honest Strategic Ambiguity • This work isn’t good enough. • I don’t want to work with you. • I think the boss will want us to back up these predictions with some figures • Right now I don’t see any projects on the horizon.

8. Choose the optimal degree of powerful language. P. 97-98 • Some types of language make a speaker sound less powerful, while other types create an air of power and confidence. • Speakers who use more powerful speech are rated as more competent, dynamic, and attractive than speakers who sound powerless. MORE POWERFUL This report is good! Less Powerful This report is good, Isn’t it?

9. Biased Languageemotional problems arise when speakers intentionally or unintentionally use biased language. P. 98-99 Biased Language Listeners restatement • It’s a gamble. • She’s so wishy-washy • So you don’t think the idea is a reasonable risk. Is that it? • You think Susan isn’t willing to make a decision?

10. Trigger words P.99 • Be aware of your sensitivity towards others. If they have a different view on things you can offend them by saying some trigger words. Nothing- Means something is wrong Go Ahead- It’s like a dare. They are daring you to go ahead and do whatever you are thinking of doing! Fine- means a woman knows she’s right and wants you to shush. Wow- not a compliment. She is amazed that you actually thought it was okay to say or do a certain thing.

11. Gender differences P. 99-103 Feminine Masculine • Rapport Talk • Emotions • Apologize • Supportive • EXAMPLES • Did you hear about? • Oh really? • Is that right? • Report talk • Less emotions • Independence • Get things done • Advice to solution • Short and to the point • Examples • I’ll make reports for Sara • Fax these reports to accounting.

12. NON VERBAL COMMUNICATION P. 103-105 • Messages expressed by other than linguistic means. • Appearance • Movements • Blushing • Avoiding eye contact • Shaking your head • Yawn • Laugh • Facial expressions • Distance

13. Hitch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oqps_-QfnOQ

14. p. 105 Types of Nonverbal Communication • Voice • Appearance • The Face and Eyes • Posture and Movement • Personal Space and Distance • Physical Environment • Time

15. p. 105 Voice Social scientists use the term paralanguage to describe a wide range of vocal characteristics, each of which helps express an attitude: • Pitch (high-low) • Resonance (resonant-thin) • Range (spread-narrow) • Tempo (rapid-slow) • Articulation (precise-imprecise) • Dysfluencies (um, er, etc.) • Rhythm (smooth-jerky) • Pauses (frequency and duration)* • Volume (loud-soft)*

16. p. 106-107 Appearance Pays • People who look attractive are considered to be likeable and persuasive, and they generally have successful careers. • Beginning salaries increase about $2,000 for every point increase on a 5-point attractiveness scale. • More attractive men (but not more attractive women) are given higher starting salaries than less handsome counterparts. Attractive Factors Potential employers, customers, and co-workers are usually impressed by people who are: • Trim • Muscular • In good shape • Well dressed and groomed

17. p. 107 How Should I Dress? • Whether to dress up or down depends on several factors, including the industry or field of work.

18. p. 107 Tips for Choosing a Smart Wardrobe • Look around. Look at key people in the industry and country where you work. • Be flexible. Within your company’s dress code, choose an outfit that fits your daily activities. • Don’t confuse “casual” with “sloppy.”A T-shirt and grubby denims send a different message than well-fitting khakis and a sharp shirt or sweater. • Never risk offending. Your definition of appropriate attire may not match those of people whose approval you need.* • Dress for the job you want. It makes it easier for people to visualize you in the position you want.

19. p. 108 The Face and Eyes A person’s face indicates emotions clearly.

20. p. 108-109 Eyes • One can control an interaction by knowing when and where to look to produce desired results. • Since visual contact is an invitation to speak, a speaker who does not want to be interrupted can avoid looking at people until it is time to field questions or get reactions • Eye contact: • Can indicate how involved a person is in a situation. • Can be deceptive. People can lie while looking you in the eye. • Can mislead intentionally or unintentionally.* • Its meaning varies by culture. • In most conversations people make eye contact 50-60 percent of the time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qU3cAGHnPJU

21. p. 109-110 Posture and Movement • Reflects attitude • Body relaxation/tension indicates who has the power in one-to-one relationships • Height—tallness usually equates with dominance • Exaggerated gestures can be misleading Height—tallness usually equates with dominance. Posture reflects attitude

22. p. 110 Common Gestures and Their Possible Perceived Meanings

23. p. 110-112 Personal Space and Distance Get in the Zone—Distance zone Casual-personal: 18 inches to 4 feet Intimate: physical contact to 18 inches Social-consultative: 4 to 12 feet Public: 12 feet and beyond

24. p. 111 Physical Environment Affects Communication • Space allocation—where is the boss’s office? • Proximity affects who will talk to whom. • Furniture arrangement and seating choices can influence others’ comfort and can increase or decrease your approachableness. • “Out of sight, out of mind.” How to create a setting which encourages informal contact: • Make it centrally located so that people must pass through it on their way to other places. • It should contain places to sit or rest to be comfortable. • It should be large enough that those gathered there won’t interfere with others passing through or working nearby.* Proximity and visibility encourage contact; distance and closure discourage it.

25. p.113 Cubicle Etiquette • Privacy—treat others’ cubicles as if they were private offices. • Noise—don’t add to the noise of the cube farm. • Odors—your favorite scent may be someone else’s allergen. • Children—usually best kept away from work except on special occasions. • Illness—if you wouldn’t want someone in your state of health coming to work, try to stay away yourself.

26. p. 112-115 Its About Time . . . • Be particularly scrupulous about your use of time during the first few months you are on the job. • Recognize monochronic cultures. • Recognize polychronic cultures.

27. p. 116-117 Improving Nonverbal Effectiveness • Monitor your nonverbal behavior • Frequently ask yourself “how am I doing?” • Demonstrate interest in others • Be positive • Observe conventions • Honor culture • Dress appropriately, according to expectations

28. p. 116 Demonstrate Interest in Others • Immediacy: verbal and nonverbal behaviors that indicate closeness and liking.* • High immediacy leads to greater career success. • Immediacy cues are especially important when making a first impression. • Take the Nonverbal Immediacy Assessment

29. p. 117 Bee Positive • “We catch feelings from one another as though they were some kind of social virus.” • You can “infect” someone with your mood in as little as 2 minutes.

30. p. 117 Sexual Harassment • There are two types of sexual harassment: • Quid pro quo (Latin term meaning “this for that”) Example: A direct or indirect threat not to promote someone who won’t date you. Or implying that employment depends on the giving of sexual favors. • Hostile work environment This includes any verbal or nonverbal behavior that has the intention or effect of interfering with someone’s work or creating an environment that is intimidating, offensive, or hostile. Unwelcome remarks (“babe,” “hunk”), humor, stares (“elevator eyes”), hand or body signs, and invasions of physical space all can create a hostile work environment.

31. p. 118 Avoiding Sexual Harassment Problems • Be especially sensitive in situations where others might take offence at your words or behaviors. • Read your company’s sexual harassment policy and be very familiar with training and information from your HR professionals. • When in doubt, don’t do it!

32. p. 118-119 Responding To Sexual Harassment Targets of sexual harassment are entitled to legal protection. But sometimes fighting sexual harassment through legal channels can be more burdensome than it is worth. Taking care of harassment at the lowest, most informal level may bring results that solve the problem without creating further discomfort to the target. Response options: • Consider dismissing the incident. • Tell the harasser to stop • Keep notes • Write a personal letter to the harasser • Ask a trusted third party to intervene • Use company channels • File legal complaint

33. Remember: Actions speak louder than words The Little Mermaid - "Body Language" in Foreign Languages – YouTube Whatever language you speak, don’t underestimate the importanceof body language!