Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships

1. Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships Peers: People of similar age who share similar interests.

2. Friendships • A friendship is a significant relationship between two people. • Healthy friendships are based on caring, respect, trust, and consideration. • They may also become people with whom you are comfortable sharing your needs, wants, emotions, and confidences. • Friendships can give you a sense of belonging and help you reinforce your values. • There are several kinds of friendships.

3. Platonic Friendship • A platonic friendship is a friendship with a member of the opposite gender in which there is affection but the two people are not considered a couple. • Platonic Friendship help you realize that all people, regardless of gender, have similar feelings, needs, and concerns.

4. Casual Friendships • A casual friendship between peers who share something in common. • You may form a casual friendship with a classmate, a teammate, or someone who you work with. • Casual friends are usually people with whom you share some interests but are not necessarily people with whom you form deep emotional bonds.

5. Close Friendships • Close friends have strong emotional ties and feel comfortable sharing their thoughts, experiences, and feelings. • They trust and support each other, acting with kindness, courtesy, and loyalty. • When problems arise in the relationship, close friends will try to work them out together.

6. Close Friendships • Similar values, interests, in beliefs • Open and honest communication • Sharing of joys, disappoints, dreams, and concerns • Mutual respect

7. Cliques • A clique is a small circle of friends usually with similar backgrounds or tastes, who exclude people viewed as outsiders. • Cliques can have positive and negative influences on peers. • Positive: sense of belonging • Negative: if members are discouraged from thinking for themselves or acting as individuals

8. Forming Healthy Relationships • Peer pressure: the influence that people your age may have on you. • Positive Peer Pressure- participation in activity, role models, worthwhile cause • Negative – manipulation, engage in behaviors that go against values, etc.

9. Unhealthy Relationships • What happens when things don’t go as planned? • How do you avoid or get out of uncomfortable or unsafe situations or relationships?

10. Passive, Aggressive, Assertive

11. Passive & Aggressive • Passive- have a tendency to give up, give in, or back down without standing up for their own rights and needs. • Aggressive- people are overly forceful, pushy, hostile, or attacking in their approach. This can encourage fighting or harm.

12. Assertiveness • Being assertive means standing up for your rights in a firm and positive way. • Refusal skills: are communication strategies that can help you say no when you are urged to take part in behaviors that go against your values. • Step One : State your position, sound like you mean it, say “NO”, give an honest reason for your response to strengthen your refusal.

13. Step Two- Suggest Alternatives • By offering an alternative you create an opportunity for your friend to be with you in a way that is comfortable. Suggestions should take you away from the dangerous or unpleasant situation. • Ex. “Let’s go to the movies instead.”

14. Step Three- Stand Your Ground • Make it clear that you mean what you’ve said, use strong body language and maintain eye contact. • If this does not work, remove yourself from the situation. Simply say “I’m going home.”

15. Which is better…Passive, Aggressive or Assertive? • Being assertive allows you to get your point across without escalating the situation.

16. Dating & Setting Limits • Dating can be an enjoyable learning experience. • Develops social skills, communication, and also allows people to learn more about themselves. • Infatuation- or exaggerated feelings of passion for another person. Although such feelings are natural, it is important to not mistake them for genuine affection.

17. Affection • Is a feeling of fondness for someone, that comes when you know another person well. • Friendship and caring are essential for building an affectionate, close relationship with a dating partner.

18. Deciding to Date • Not everyone dates. • Shyness • Other interests and time commitments • Family traditions or values • Group dates • Double dates • Relieve the pressure of being alone with someone new

19. Avoiding risk situations - pressure to participate in sexual activity. • Know where you are going • Find out who else will be there • Discuss what time they expect you home • Bring money and a phone • Avoid places where alcohol and other drugs are present. • Avoid being alone with a date at home or in an isolated place.

20. Dating Relationships • Ongoing relationship with only one person. • This type of relationship may help you develop skills that will someday prepare you for the dignity, respect, and responsibility required in a marriage. • Keep in mind that dating one person may limit your chances for socializing with others.

21. Dating • Beginning and ending relationships can be hard, but this experience can mature you emotionally. • Honesty and open communication are necessary.

22. Communication • It is important to get your point across! • Use clear language • Use words not just body language • Get right to the point

23. Setting limits • Limits are intended to protect your health and safety. • For example, a curfew. • Limits should be established ahead of time and agreed upon by both teens and their families before the date. • As you mature, you set your own limits. • Age of the person you date, how to get there, how late you will be staying out, what you’ll be doing, etc. • When you communicate your limit on sexual activity, you need to be clear and firm.

24. Abstinence • Abstinence- is a deliberate decision to avoid high risk behaviors, including sexual activity before marriage. • What to consider: your priorities, personal limits on how you can express affection, share your thoughts with your partner, talk with a trusted adult, avoid high-pressure situations, do not use alcohol or other drugs.

25. Abstinence will keep you safe from • Unplanned pregnancy • Sexually transmitted diseases • Emotional strain • Social implications “Labeled as easy, etc.”

26. Birth Control • Behavioral methods • Over-the-counter methods • Prescription methods • Permanent Methods

27. Sexual Harassment Terminology • Explicit- clear, direct, straightforward • Implicit- not clear, implied or hinted at • Harass- to annoy, intimidate, frighten, threaten or bully another person • Physical sexual conduct- touching another person in a sexual way, usually to show affection; in the case of sexual harassment, this touch is inappropriate and unwanted

28. Why victims don’t report sexual harassment • They blame themselves • They feel powerless • They don’t know how to report the harassment • They are afraid or embarrassed • They don’t want to get the harasser into trouble • They don’t trust their perceptions of what happened- maybe they “misunderstood”

29. Dating an Abuser • Warning signs that you might be dating an abuser…..

30. Power & Control in Dating • Verbal abuse • Destruction of personal property • Threats, anger, intimidation • Jealously, isolation, possessiveness • Abuse of the “male” privilege • Sexual abuse • Physical abuse • Psychological and emotional abuse

31. Healthy vs. Unhealthy • Supportive Unsupportive • Some Arguing Excessive Arguing • Sex (if desired) Unwanted, forced sex • Shared respect Possessiveness • Trust Dishonest, mistrust • Loving Controlling, Obsessive • Caring Aggressive • Give compliments Give put downs • Raises self esteem Lowers self esteem • Instills happiness Instills fear • Takes on dates/romance/surprises Takes for granted • Shows off to friends Excludes from friends • Proud of partner’s accomplishments Jealous of partner

32. Respect Yourself • Live your life with dignity. • Respect yourself to do the right thing for YOU! You deserve to be cared for, NOT scared for. “Thank You For Being A Friend” (Andrew Gold)