Looking at Leadership and Conflict Resolution through the Lens of MBTI

1. Looking at Leadership and Conflict Resolution through the Lens of MBTI TX CWJC/CMJC Webinar February 22, 2011 Sara Elliott, MDiv/MSW intern

2. Why discuss leadership and conflict management? • How many of you have had to deal with conflict among staff members? • How many of you, as you planned to lead in ministry, thought about how you might deal with these issues of conflict? • Managers of organizations spend anywhere from 25% to 60% of their time dealing with conflicts or the fallout from conflict.

3. Why MBTI? • It helps us to understand who we are and what makes us tick • It helps us to understand why other people are the way they are • It helps us to appreciate the differences between the two • “And in understanding me you might come to prize my differences from you, and, far from seeking to change me, preserve and nurture those differences.” – Kiersey and Bates, 1984 • Our MBTI type does not define us, but shows us our preferences.

4. Basics on the 8 Preferences • Where do you get your energy from outside yourself (Extraversion) or from within yourself (Introversion)? • Extravert • Tend to talk first, think later • Know a lot of people • Don’t mind reading or having a conversation while there is another activity going on in the background • Are approachable and easily engaged by friends, coworkers, and strangers • Find telephone calls to be welcome interruptions • Enjoy going to meetings and tend to let your opinions be heard • Prefer generating ideas with a group to doing it by yourself • Find listening more difficult than talking • “Look” with your mouth instead of your eyes • Need affirmation from colleagues, superiors, and subordinates about who you are

5. Basics on the 8 Preferences • Introvert • Rehearse things before saying them and prefer that others would do the same • Enjoy the peace and quiet of having time to yourself • Are perceived as “a great listener” • Have been called “shy” from time to time • Like to share special occasions with just one other person or perhaps a few close friends • Wish that you could get your ideas out more forcefully • Like stating your thoughts or feelings without interruptions • Need to “recharge” alone after you’ve spent time in meetings • Were told by your parents to “go outside and play with your friends” • Believe that “talk is cheap”

6. Basics on the 8 Preferences • How do you gather information about your world, in a literal, sequential way (Sensing) or in a more figurative, random way (iNtuition)? • Sensor • Prefer specific answers to specific questions • Like to concentrate on what you’re doing at the moment and generally don’t wonder about what’s next • Find most satisfying those jobs that yield some tangible result • Believe that “if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” • Would rather work with facts and figures than ideas and theories • Think that “fantasy” is a dirty word • Read magazines and reports from front to back • Get frustrated when people don’t give you clear instructions • Are very literal in your use of words • Find it easier to see the individual trees than the forest • Subscribe to the notion that “seeing is believing”

7. Basics on the 8 Preferences • Intuitive • Tend to think about several things at once • Find the future and its possibilities more intriguing than frightening • Believe that “boring details” is a redundancy • Believe that time is relative • Like figuring out how things work just for the sheer pleasure of doing so • Are prone to puns and word games • Find yourself seeking the connections and interrelatedness behind most things rather than accepting them at face value • Tend to give general answers to questions • Would rather fantasize about spending your next paycheck than sit and balance your checkbook

8. Basics on the 8 Preferences • Which way do you prefer to make decisions, objectively and impersonally (Thinking) or subjectively and interpersonally (Feeling)? • Thinker • Are able to stay cool, calm, and objective in situations when everyone else is upset • Would rather settle a dispute based on what is fair and truthful than on what will make people happy • Enjoy proving a point for the sake of clarity • Are more firm-minded than gentle-hearted • Pride yourself on your objectivity despite the fact that some people accuse you of being cold and uncaring • Don’t mind making difficult decisions and can’t understand why so many people get upset about things that aren’t relevant to the issue at hand • Think it’s more important to be right than to be liked • Are impressed with and lend more credence to things that are logical and scientific • Remember numbers and figures more readily than faces and names

9. Basics on the 8 Preferences • Feeler • Consider a “good decision” one that takes others’ feelings into account • Feel that “love” cannot be defined • Will overextend yourself meeting other people’s needs • Put yourself in other people’s shoes • Enjoy providing needed services to people although you find that some people take advantage of you. • Find yourself wondering, “Doesn’t anyone care about what I want?” although you may have difficulty actually saying that to anyone. • Won’t hesitate to take back something you’ve said that you perceive has offended someone • Prefer harmony over clarity

10. Basics on the 8 Preferences • Do you prefer to be decisive and planned (Judging) or flexible and spontaneous (Perceiving)? • Judger • Are always waiting for others • Have a place for everything • “Know” that if everyone would simply do what they’re supposed to do (and when they’re supposed to do it), the world would be a better place. • Wake up in the morning and know fairly well what your day is going to be like • Don’t like surprises • Keep lists and use them • Thrive on order • Are accused of being angry when you’re not; you’re only stating your opinion

11. Basics on the 8 Preferences • Perceiver • Are easily distracted • Love to explore the unknown • Don’t plan a task but wait and see what it demands • Have to depend on last-minute spurts of energy to meet deadlines • Don’t believe that “neatness counts,” even though you would prefer to have everything in order • Turn most work into play • Change the subject often in conversations • Don’t like to be pinned down about most things • Tend usually to make things less than definite from time to time

12. How Sensors and iNtuitives Lead • Sensors • Tactile, literal, and practical • Tend to focus their work on the actual, the present, the doable. • Natural sense of the movement of time and how much time a project will take to complete • Orientation toward implementation and actions • iNtuitives • Hardwired to pick up on patterns, future possibilities, and the proverbial big • Live in the future, and lead toward it by exercising their vision and drive to change and develop their colleagues and the systems around them • Ability to think systematically and strategically.

13. How Thinkers and Feelers Lead • Thinkers • Analytical and objective • Naturally problem-oriented • This orientation can lead to a culture of criticism between leaders and their followers • Some T leaders may even view criticism as a compliment • Feelers • Engage with the human element first and see it as the determining factor in any final outcome • Tend to exercise power through relationships and attention given to subjective human values • Circumstantial decision makers

14. How Extraverts and Introverts Lead • Extraverts • Influence others quite naturally by engaging with them • Tend to be open verbal communicators who share more than they withhold • The potential liability for the Extraverted leader is that he or she may share, talk, and disclose regardless of whether the information being imparted has been asked for or is being listened to • Introverts • When Introverts do choose to influence others, they commonly do so by presenting ideas, plans, visions, or values – often in writing – that will be compelling and attractive. • An Introverted leader has a lot brewing under the surface, but only lets out or shares a small piece of it. • Sometimes the issue for Introverted leaders is the speed with which they are able to make a decision.

15. How Judgers and Perceivers Lead • Judgers • Well suited to systems that are strongly oriented toward decisive action, rigid schedules, and the accomplishment of tasks • Work-now-play-later approach • Can run into trouble when their drive for control, scheduling, and closure prevents new data from being considered • Perceivers • Often described as scattered, directionless, unscheduled, and prone to having more starts than finishes. • However, Ps do have many effective leadership qualities: ability to live their lives as flexible, curious, and open-minded people who can be easygoing, informal, adaptable, and fun-loving

16. Temperaments and Power • NF Leaders – the People People • Power resides in personal relationships • Constantly selling ideas and are tirelessly persuasive • NT Leaders – Competence Above All • Very focused on objective clarity and tend to be quick to criticize lack of competence • SJ Leaders – the Company People • See power in the structure, hierarchy, and traditions of their organizations and work teams and emphasize the importance of detail and practicality • SP Leaders – the Troubleshooters • Exercise power by solving problems and acting to address the concerns of the moment • Good skills at crisis management

17. Attitudes and Leadership • Extraverted-Judgers – Natural Influencers • Seem to emit an aura of self-confidence, capability, competency, and assurance. • Introverted-Judgers – Strong, Silent Types • Behaviorially they appear focused, decisive, closure-driven, directive, and overtly controlling • Extraverted-Perceivers – Energizing Forces • Seen as energizing forces for change and creativity, but conversely, they are also seen as flighty, indecisive, and chaotic • Introverted-Perceivers – Quiet and Reflective • Their flexibility, openness, and casual, nonhierarchical style leads to their being viewed as weak and indecisive.

18. Conflict Resolution • Conflict can take many forms. • Conflict can have many outcomes. • Conflict is inevitable.

19. How Thinkers and Feelers Deal with Conflict • How do you define conflict? • How do you deal with conflict at work? • What would you like others to keep in mind when conflict arises? • Thinkers • See conflict as an inevitable process that almost always leads to creativity • Deal with conflict at work by learning, discussing the issues, and strategizing solutions. • Feelers • See conflict as disharmony and avoid it at all costs • Deal with conflict by reflecting on their feelings, blaming themselves for the conflict, and often react physically

20. How Extraverts and Introverts Deal with Conflict • Extraverts • Prefer to move conflict to the external arena • Say so many things in such a little time that they can often not remember what they said • Problem is exacerbated with an EJ: EJs already know the answer • Introverts • Conflicts are very physically stressful for Introverts, because they internalize everything • Introverts need to leave the playing field for a little while

21. How Sensors and iNtuitives deal with Conflict • Sensors • The information that Sensors take in deals more with the specifics of what has been said or has taken place. Precise words and events are key here and are subject to subsequent recall and scrutiny. • iNtuitives • For iNtuitives, implications and meanings about what’s transpired are far more important.

22. How Judgers and Perceivers Deal with Conflict • Judgers • They like structure; so any unplanned or unannounced change can lead to some abrasive responses. • Closure is important to judgers; it is their nature to sound right. • Perceivers • They may have opinions on the issue, too, but their P nature is continually to redefine things, to stay open-ended about alternative solutions, and to maintain real flexibility.

23. Utilizing MBTI in Conflict Resolution • Consider the type of the person with whom you are in conflict. • If we solicit feedback from you, we will hear your criticisms much differently than if you were to offer the same comments unsolicited. • The more we know each other’s natural styles, the more we can help each other with our natural shortcomings. • Whose problem is this? • Thinkers would naturally believe that it’s the other guy’s problem. • Feelers, meanwhile, would naturally believe that it’s their problem. • Extraverts want to talk their way through a situation without realizing that it’s not their problem. • Introverts tend to mind their own business, often keeping to themselves ideas and information that could lead to resolution.

24. Reference • Kroeger, O., Thuesen, J., & Rutledge, H. (2002). Type talk at work: How the 16 personality types determine your success on the job. New York: Dell Publishing.