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Book Summary: The DNA of Relationships

This PowerPoint is designed for use with church leaders. Approximately 20 minutes long, it can be used before, during, or after a regularly scheduled meeting. Book Summary: The DNA of Relationships.

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Book Summary: The DNA of Relationships

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  1. This PowerPoint is designed for use with church leaders. Approximately 20 minutes long, it can be used before, during, or after a regularly scheduled meeting.

  2. Book Summary:The DNA of Relationships Dr. Gary Smalley tells us the whys and hows of relationships. His insights are based on five years of relational research that show amazing results: a more than 90 percent success rate in resolving conflict and a 72 percent increase in relational satisfaction. Special offer!Order this book at a discount by going to http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?p=1023748&item_no=355308.

  3. The group PowerPoint presentation begins on the following slide.

  4. The Dance that Destroys Relationships1 John 4:18 How fear affects our relationships

  5. Six Elements of a Fear Dance • The external problem is rarely the problem • The core problem isour fear • This results in a Fear Dance

  6. Six Elements of a Fear Dance (continued) • The Fear Dance is functionally dysfunctional • We expect the other person to be the solution • We can break the rhythm of the Fear Dance by understanding our fears and taking responsibility

  7. A No-Losers Policy Philippians 2:1–7 Seven steps to win-win conflict solutions

  8. Seven Steps to Win-WinConflict Solutions • Establish a no-losers policy • Listen to how the other feels • Ask God for direction • Brainstorm abouta win-win solution

  9. Seven Steps to Win-WinConflict Solutions (continued) • Select a win-win solution • Implement your solution • Evaluate and reworkyour solution if necessary

  10. Objection:It will take too much time. Answer:A no-losers policy actually saves time. When you feel you have to defend your territory, you dig in your heels for a tug-of-war. The battle continues until one person wears out. When you adopt a no-losers policy, you stop worrying about protecting your agenda.

  11. Objection:What if we can’t come to an agreement and someone has to make a decision? Answer:This hardly ever happens. Often the opportunity is not as good as it looks or a better opportunity presents itself. If a decision does need to be made, determine who is the most qualified to make it based on experience or training.

  12. Effective Communication Takes Work • Expect problems and misunderstandings • Expect that you’ll need patience • Expect a lot of trial and error

  13. Discuss • What do you like best about the no-losers policy? • What do you think will be the hardest part about implementing it? • What steps can we take to put this policy into practice?

  14. Create a Safe Environment Romans 15:5–7 Valuing others paves the way to positive relationships

  15. 5 Ways to Create a Safe Environment • Respect the wall • Honor others • Suspend judgment

  16. 5 Ways to Create a Safe Environment (continued) • Value differences • Be trustworthy

  17. Take Personal Responsibility • Don’t give others the power to control your feelings • Take control of your thoughts, feelings, and actions • Take responsibilityfor your buttons

  18. Take Personal Responsibility (continued) • Don’t look to others to make you happy • Become the CEO of your life

  19. Discuss • What do we need to do to create a safe environment for others? • What can we do to show each other we value our differences? • How can we better suspend our judgment of each other?

  20. For More Information Order The DNA of Relationships by Dr. Gary Smalley at http://www.christianbook.com/Christian/Books/product?p=1023748&item_no=355308. Visit BuildingChurchLeaders.com for more downloadable tools to help build faithful and effective leaders in your church or ministry.

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