320 likes | 491 Views
Abusive Relationships. Health 2 – Mrs. Thibert. Why talk about abuse?. 20% of high school girls are physically or sexually hurt by a dating partner. As many as 1/3 of teens experience some kind of abuse in their romantic relationship, including verbal and emotional abuse.
E N D
Abusive Relationships Health 2 – Mrs. Thibert
Why talk about abuse? 20% of high school girls are physically or sexually hurt by a dating partner. As many as 1/3 of teens experience some kind of abuse in their romantic relationship, including verbal and emotional abuse. 1/3 teens reports knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked slapped, or physically hurt by a partner. 45% of teen girls know someone who has been pressured or forced into having intercourse or oral sex. Curriculum: Love is not abuse: a teen dating violence prevention curriculum Liz Claiborne Inc. Teen Dating Violence Survey, 2005
Types of Abuse • Physical Abuse • Scratching, kicking, pulling hair, pushing, hitting, choking, slapping, shoving • Sexual Abuse • Unwanted touching, date rape • Verbal/Emotional Abuse • Name-calling, threats, embarrassing the person, threatening to commit suicide, screaming, preventing a person from seeing friends
Cycle of Abuse Abuse occurs (physical/sexual/ emotional)
Cycle of Abuse • Abuser apologizes • Promises it won’t happen again • Blame victim for causing abuse • Deny abuse or say it was not as bad as the victim claims.
Cycle of Abuse • Act like abuse never happened • Physical abuse may not be taking place. • Promises made may be kept • Victim hopes that abuse is over
Cycle of Abuse • Abuser starts to get angry • Abuse may begin • Communication breaks down • Victim “walking on egg shells”
Center Against Rape and Domestic Violence Support Services Emergency Shelter Legal Advocacy Support Groups Hospital Advocacy 24 Hour Hotline (541) 754-0110 1-800-927-0197 CARDV
Pushes for Quick Involvement Jealous Controlling Unrealistic Expectations Isolation Blames others for problems or mistakes Makes others responsible for his or her feelings Hypersensitivity Cruelty to animals or children “Playful” use of force during sex Verbal abuse Rigid gender roles Sudden mood swings Past battering Threats of violence 15 Warning signs of a Batterer Source: Dear Abby, Albany Democrat-Herald, November 16, 2004
Helping a friend or family member • Tell them you are concerned • Acknowledge that the abuse is not the person’s fault • Encourage the person to seek help and develop a safety plan • Do not confront the abuser
Who are the 4 most important women in your life? It is estimated that 1 in 4 will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime.
Sexual Harassment Unwanted sexual attention, that makes the victim feel uncomfortable or threatened.
Really, What is Harassment? Whistling at hot girls/guys as they pass Nice …… (bleep) Isn’t that flirting?
Responding to Harassment • Communicate that you consider it harassment and want the behavior to stop • Be direct, assertive, Get support
What is Sexual Assault? Forcing or coercing someone to have sexual contact without their consent Coerce – To force to act or think in a given manner by pressure, threats, or intimidation
What is Rape? • Unwanted sexual intercourse • 85% of rapes are committed by someone known to the victim. • In Oregon, 1 in 6 women is a victim of rape.
Consent To give approval without being forced
Who is to blame for sexual assault and rape? Bystanders, survivors, friends, family and loved ones sometimes lose site of who is to blame for sexual assault and rape. The Rapist is responsible, NOT the victim!!!
They question? • What were you wearing? • Did you lead them on? • Why didn’t you scream? Fight back? • Why were you out alone at that hour? • What do you expect if you drink? DOES IT MATTER? NO
The easiest programmed response… • Partially blaming the victim - How did the victim make themselves vulnerable? • Why do we do this? • We have been taught how to reduce the risk. • We want to believe it is preventable. • We want to believe it won’t happen to us.
Reframing… • The offender/rapist 100% responsible for the assault/attack. NOT THE VICTIM!!!
Drank to much Tried a drug Walked home alone late at night Hitchhiked Shared too much personal information online Tried to look sexy and wore clothes that were too reveling Trusted someone they shouldn’t have Did something their parents told them not to. Even if they were irresponsible and…
Teens who drink alcohol are 7 times more likely to have sexual intercourse than those who don’t drink alcohol In 2/3 of unplanned pregnancies, the woman was intoxicated during sex. 60% of STD’s are transmitted when the partners are drunk. 75% of admitted date rapists said they used alcohol to get their partners drunk so that they would be more sexually available. Alcohol and Sex
Rape is a crime, not a game. • 1 in 12 male students surveyed had committed acts that met the legal definition of rape or attempted rape. • In a survey of college males who committed rape, 84% said what they did was definitely not rape. (Warshaw, Robin 1994 "I Never Called It Rape") http://www2.ucsc.edu/rape-prevention/statistics.html
What can we do to change our culture? • How can we reduce victim blaming? • How can we change social assumptions? • How can we reject media and other messages that we see/hear that are offensive?
Minimize your risk of engaging in unintended sexual activity • Avoid use of alcohol and drugs • If you do use substances do so in moderation • Use the buddy system • Think about sexual decisions while you are sober. • Talk to your partner/ friends/ family about sexual decisions.
Credibility • Accessibility