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Talking with Children about Difficult Issues

Talking with Children about Difficult Issues. Jennifer Scholes , MA Portland State University Child Welfare Partnership. Advisory Notice.

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Talking with Children about Difficult Issues

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  1. Talking with Children about Difficult Issues Jennifer Scholes, MA Portland State University Child Welfare Partnership

  2. Advisory Notice • This training is based on the policies and procedures of the Oregon Department of Human Services Child Welfare program. If you are employed by another agency, we recommend consulting with your agency for guidance.

  3. What does it mean to be emotionally free? • Vital questions have been answered • We understand our past • We have a narrative that makes sense to us • We are ready to move into a new phase of our lives

  4. What do children say? • “I have two lives, an outside life and an inside life. I go to school every day, I try to pay attention and I try to be good. That’s my outside life. • In my inside life, every minute every day I think about my Mom and my Dad. And I worry about them. And I wonder if I’ll ever go home. And no-one knows that…..” Angela, age 11

  5. Learning Objectives • What information do children need? • How do we find out what a specific child needs to know? • How do we talk about these issues with children/youth?

  6. Reflections • Always assume a child has unanswered questions • A child has a right to know their past • Never assume that “looking good” means there aren’t questions • It is our job to surface the questions and address them

  7. Importance of the Narrative “The greatest gift that one can give children is to tell them their truths and to help them make sense of these truths, especially when they are complicated or harsh”. Joyce Pavao

  8. Building a Narrative • Chronological account • Not a cute story • No lies about the past • Reference tool • Makes sense of a scrambled time

  9. Unscrambling a Scrambled Life ehplemddnnsuertymefli

  10. We Know That… • …many children have memories of their lives before they entered care • …they know more than we may think • …they need us to help them piece together their fragmented past

  11. Your Turn • Tips for your colleagues • What do you do that works to surface difficult issues? • What are your answers to difficult questions?

  12. Ages and Stages • How old is the child? • What is their developmental stage? • They will need their questions answered again when they’re older - and again

  13. Adolescents: Getting to “Yes” • “They’re always talking about this permanency stuff…” • Joining vs. separating • Mistrust of adults/systems

  14. Teens Rejecting Permanency • Often think no family will accept them and their baggage • Are scared • Are scared, but show us rebellion instead, or…

  15. Practice Time • Identify the questions or issues that the child or children will likely have. • Develop answers to the questions or issues, using both handouts. • Report back to the group by talking or texting.

  16. Thank youfor your work on behalf of Oregon’s children and families!

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