Adolescence in Boys

1. Adolescence in Boys

2. Physical changes in Boys • Just like girls, boys also go through many physical changes during adolescence. Some of these changes include • Growth of the penis, testes and pubic hair • During puberty a boy grows taller, more muscular and his shoulders widen • The penis gets longer and wider, the testes start making sperm and pubic hair grows around the genitals. • These changes happen in stages and just like in girls, some boys mature faster than the others • The male hormone testosterone which causes development of pubic hair, also causes growth of coarser hair in the armpits, chest, face, arms and legs • The amount of hair varies from one person to another and depends on genetics • Changes to the voice box or larynx start occurring at age 14 or 15. This causes the voice to change from the high-pitched voice during childhood to deeper adult voice. For some this change is gradual, while for others this can happen overnight

3. What do boys go through emotionally during these changes? Mine Is too small? I am too shy I stink! • Just as in girls, the physical changes in boys are usually accompanied by emotional changes. • Boys worry about their body image too. Some of their concerns include • Size and shape of their penis • Amount of body hair • Embarrassment about voice breaking • Dealing with “wet dreams” • Muscular build and not being happy with their growth • Let us look at these factors and clarify a few of their concerns Too tall I wet my bed. I am punished for my bad thoughts! Too skinny and too hairy!

4. Addressing boys’ concerns • The shape and size of the penis vary from person to person and are not in anyway indicative of a person’s manliness. Understanding this can help boys go through the change a bit easier • Similarly the amount of hair on the body should not be a cause for concern, as there is no such thing as the right amount of hair. • The appearance of a moustache and/or a beard can be a source of worry to some and a sign of growing up to others. Talking to an elderly male in the house – father, elder brother or uncle will help boys decide if when and how to start shaving • During voice breaking many boys are embarrassed when their voice suddenly switches back from the deep sound to the high pitched sound. Boys should remember this is only a temporary phase and would go away soon

5. Addressing boys’ concerns ..contd • Just as the arrival of the first period is an indication of sexual maturity for girls, ejaculation of sperm and semen is an indication of maturity for boys. Relating to this some boys may experience “wet dreams” – where semen is ejected when the boy is sleeping and dreaming (not necessarily sexual). This can be very confusing for some boys as they are not sure about what happened. But this is normal and usually goes away with age. • Boys’ bodies also come in different shapes and sizes. Common notions of perfect bodies reinforced by the media can cause some boys who are skinny to be worried. Boys should remember that the rate of maturity is different for different boys and very often at the end of puberty most boys catch up with the others. But not everyone will have the same level of muscular build. The important thing is to eat right and stay healthy.

6. Pressures faced by boys during adolescence • Boys face a lot of peer pressure and from the media – movies, during adolescence to start acting like grown up men and demonstrate their manliness. • What are some of the ways boys try and exhibit their manliness? Displaying physical strength Attention to girls sometimes leading to eve teasing Pressure to do well in sports #$*!&%# Smoking and/or drinking Bullying or getting into fights Using foul language

7. What are some of the reasons for these behaviors? • images in the media – for e.g smoking by a popular movie hero is very often construed as being “cool” • Peer pressure – this is also one of the reasons for boys taking to smoking, drinking or using foul language or displaying physical strength. There is a sense of wanting to belong to the group and very often demonstrating these things is a way to prove one’s manliness and join the group. • Pressure from parents – some parents especially fathers and other adult male members of the family emphasize a lot on macho behaviors on boys – for e.g. crying, or backing off from a fight is considered to be effeminate • Awkwardness faced by boys in dealing with girls - Boys in this age are generally very shy to talk to the opposite sex, and this shyness sometimes leads them to take on aggressive behaviors.

8. Helping boys handle some of these pressures • Pressure from friends to drink or smoke or use foul language can appear irresistible. But boys should realize that saying no is an option and if those friends drop you for that then they may not be good friends to have in the first place. • Boys should understand that assertiveness and not doing something that is morally wrong require a lot of strength of character and this strength defines adulthood more than bullying or smoking or teasing girls. • If you are unsure about what is right or wrong in a given situation it is best to consult a trusted adult – a teacher or your parents before you make a decision.

9. Helping boys deal with girls • Boys at this age do not have a good idea of how to talk to the opposite sex. There is a lot of misinformation about what attracts girls and how to deal with them. • Boys should understand girls very often like boys who treat them respectfully, do not use foul language and are sensitive to them. • Working in groups with members of the opposite sex is one way to overcome the shyness • Talk to your mother or your sister if you are unsure about why girls behave in a certain way and try and get their perspective on women • Very often boys take a lot of cue from their father or the elderly male at home and how this person treats other female members of the household. So it is important for male members to treat the female members respectfully, so that the younger boys learn to respect women

10. Adolescence.. A final look

11. In summary • As we just saw both boys and girls go through a number of physical and emotional changes during the adolescence phase. • Understanding why these changes happen and learning how to deal with them can ease a lot of tension both for the adolescents and for their parents • As this is a passing phase of life it is very important to enjoy it, at the same time it can be the foundation for the future, so it is important to make good choices. • In India, unfortunately, a number of boys and girls grow up to be adults directly from their childhood – they do not get to experience adolescence for many reasons • Girls are married off immediately after puberty or are expected to take care of younger siblings from the age of 10 and not allowed to go to school • Boys start working at very early ages in the fields or in factories to supplement income • It is all the more important for parents to be sensitive to their children’s needs during this stage and help them get through adolescence as smoothly as possible. • Letting children know that they can approach them with any question without fear of punishment is one of the easiest way to help adolescents