Chapter 5 Preventing Violence and Abuse

1. Chapter 5Preventing Violence and Abuse Sexual Abuse and Violence pp. 114-118

2. Day 1: Objectives • Define sexual abuse • Describe sexual harassment

3. Motivation • Can a 17 year old boy get a 10-year mandatory sentence or serve prison time for having oral sex with a 15-year-old girl at party?

4. Do Now • Define sexual abuse and sexual harassment.

5. Sexual Abuse s e x u a l c o n s e n t • Any _ _ _ _ _ _ act without _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Is it considered sexual abuse if either the victim or abuser is indecently exposed or if the victim is shown pornography?

6. In the News • JohnTV • Yvonne: An Oklahoma City street prostitute's journey • Human Trafficking • Arrest made in Arkansas human trafficking operation, children rescued

7. Children and Sexual Abuse • Incest is sexual activity between family members who are not husband and wife. • Because the child is being abused by someone he or she knows and trusts, the child may find it difficult to tell when he or she is being abused. • Video: Eva’s Story

8. TrueorFalseThumbs Up or Thumbs Down Because the behavior started in an innocent fashion, children feel as if they did something to encourage the abuse. True:

9. TrueorFalseThumbs Up or Thumbs Down Incest traumatizes a child not only physically but also emotionally. True:

10. ACTIVITY: Recognizing Sexual HarassmentFor each of the following statements, indicate whether you think the behavior is acceptable, not acceptable, or a case of sexual harassment. • A student constantly makes comments abut another student’s physical appearance, dress or behavior. • A student writes sexually-oriented statements on another student’s locker. • A student repeatedly asks student to go for a date when the person has indicated that he/she does not want to go. • Putting an arm around someone’s shoulder whenever an individual speaks to that person. • Wearing a T-shirt that lists “Ten Reasons Why Beer is Better than Women.” • Prolonged looking at another person. • A teacher makes comments concerning a student’s dress and how the teacher is “turned on” by it. • Putting sexually-oriented cartoons on a public bulletin board. • Being physically attracted to someone in your class. • Dressing and/or behaving seductively.

11. Sexual Harassment • Any unwanted remark, behavior or touch that has sexual content • ...the conduct is unwelcome • ...creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive environment

12. Day 2: Objectives • Examine examples of sexual harassment • Describe facts about sexual assault and rape • Name five things a person should do if he or she has been sexually assaulted • List three ways you can protect yourself from sexual abuse and violence

13. Examples of Sexual Harassment • Telling unwanted stories or jokes • Making sexual remarks about a person’s body or clothing • Staring at a person’s body or body parts/Leering • Touching, patting, kissing, or pinching a person in a sexual way • Standing too close to or brushing up against a person.

14. Examples of Sexual Harassment • Making sexual gestures • Offering a person something in return for sex/Propositions • Unwanted requests for dates • Pornographic & suggestive materials • Whistling • Holding/blocking • Threats of harm

15. Examples of Sexual Harassment • Sexual comment like name-calling (slut, whore, fag) • Unwanted communication, like text messages, phone calls, or e-mails. These can be mean, nasty, or threatening, or they can seem flattering or nice but still make you uncomfortable. • Starting rumors about you

16. TrueorFalseThumbs Up or Thumbs Down Both the harasser and the victim can be either male or female, and they do not have to be the opposite sex. The harasser can be another teenager or an adult. True:

17. TrueorFalseThumbs Up or Thumbs Down Some flirting between kids is normal and healthy, but sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference between flirting and sexual harassment. True:

18. Trueor FalseThumbs Up or Thumbs Down An adult flirting with a kid is normal or okay. False

19. Power and Sexual Harassment • When the harasser holds a position of power, it is most dangerous • The victim is often afraid to complain in fear of losing a job or getting a bad grade, etc.

20. Protection from Harassment • Tell the harasser to • Make them know that it is unwanted • Report the harassment

21. Trueor FalseThumbs Up or Thumbs Down A “friendly” pat or squeeze is not an example of sexual harassment. False

22. The BOTTOM LINE...If you think you are flirting with someone, but they do not respond the way you want them to, consider this... • If the person does not seem happy with your attention, • if you flirt but they do not flirt back, • if you make a sexual joke and they do not laugh, • if the person seems to be avoiding you... • ...you might be making them uncomfortable. The bottom line is that if the person receiving your sexual or romantic attention doesn't want it and you continue, that's harassment and you should stop it

24. Sexual assault • Any sexual activity in which force or a threat of force is used Kobe Bryant’s sexual assault case

25. Rape • Forced sexual intercourse

26. Date Rape • Forced sexual intercourse by someone the victim knows

27. What to do after being raped or sexually assaulted…. What you should do! • Explain why it is important that the victim of rape not take a shower or change anything physically about themselves after the rape has occurred? • Explain why a rape victim should immediately go to the hospital and not to the police department after the rape incident? • Does anyone know what “statute of limitations” means?

28. Which of the following should you not do immediately after you have been sexually assaulted? • Call the police • Call a trusted adult • Get to safety • Take a shower

29. Protection from Date Rape • Know the person very well • Make sure friends/family know where you are • Don’t be alone with your date • Go on double or group dates • Do not accept drugs or alcohol • If you have a drink (soda included) do not leave it unattended

30. Protection from Date Rape • Set limits and communicate these limits clearly and firmly ahead of time. However, remember that alcohol and drugs “cloud” communication. • Be wary of being alone with someone you do not know well

31. TrueorFalseThumbs Up or Thumbs Down Like victims of other types of violence, victims of rape and sexual assault suffer both physical and emotional trauma True:

32. Effects of Sexual Assault and Rape • Suffer injuries such as bruises, cuts, or broken bones • Expose to pregnancy or STIs • Have feelings of guilt or shame • Suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder

33. Protecting Yourself From Sexual Abuse and Violence • At home • On the Street • By People You Know

34. Day 3Assessment Activity #1 A Case of Acquaintance Rape Sexual Abuse

35. You be the Judge!

36. How Ann Described What Happened I first met Jim at a party. He was really good-looking and he had a great smile. I wanted to meet him but I wasn’t sure how. I didn’t want to appear too forward. Then he came over and introduced himself. We talked and found we had a lot in common. I really liked him. When he asked me over to his place for a drink, I thought it would be okay. He was such a good listener, and I wanted him to ask me out again. When we got to his room, the only place to sit was on the bed. I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea, but what else could I do? We talked for a while and then he made his move. I was so startled. He started by kissing. I really like him so the kissing was nice. But then he pushed me down on the bed. I tried to get up and I told him to stop. He was so much bigger and stronger. I got scared and I started to cry. I froze and he raped me. It took only a couple of minutes and it was terrible, he was so rough. When it was over he kept asking me what was wrong, like he didn’t know. He had just forced himself on me and he thought that was okay. He drove me home and he said he wanted to see me again. I’m so afraid to see him. I never thought it would happen to me.

37. How Jim Described What Happened I first met her at a party. She looked really hot, wearing a sexy dress that showed off her great body. We started talking right away. I knew that she liked me by the way she kept smiling and touching my arm while she was speaking. She seemed pretty relaxed so I asked her back to my place for a drink. When she said yes, I knew that I was going to be lucky! When we got to my place, we sat on the bed kissing. At first, everything was great. Then, when I started to lay her down on the bed, she started twisting and saying she didn’t want to. Most women don’t like to appear too easy, so I knew she was just going through the motions. When she stopped struggling, I knew that she would have to throw in some tears before we did it. She was still very upset afterwards, and I just don’t understand it! If she didn’t want to have sex, why did she come back to the room with me? You could tell by the way she dressed and acted that she was no virgin, so why she had to put up such a struggle I don’t know.

38. Please take a die and roll it. Respond to the corresponding numbered item below that matches the number of your die.

39. Assessment Activity #2 Sexual Abuse and ViolenceThe word respect means to “hold in high esteem or regard.” Healthy relationships with others are built on a foundation of self-respect and respect for others. The continuum below shows that sexual behavior can reflect respect (consent), or disrespect (sexual harassment, sexual abuse, and sexual assault).

40. Consent------Sexual harassment------Sexual abuse------Sexual assault John is the captain of the football team. On the day before the Homecoming game, he is in the locker room before the pep rally, pulling his jersey over his head. Looking up, he sees Debbie and Janet, who have been watching him through an opening in the door. As they duck and close the door, John hears Debbie remark, “Wow, what a body!” John is very embarrassed.

41. Consent------Sexual harassment------Sexual abuse------Sexual assault Amy and Milo walk to school together every morning—and home again in the afternoon—just as they have done since kindergarten. After all this time, they are becoming more than “just friends,” which feels a little strange to both of them. Neither of them quite knows what to do about their changing feelings. Finally, Milo blurts out, as they reach school, “Amy, let’s go to the movies on Friday!” Amy agrees.

42. Consent------Sexual harassment------Sexual abuse------Sexual assault Katherine applies for an after-school job and at the end of the interview, the grocery store manager says suggestively, “Meet me after work, and we’ll see what we can do about that job.” Katherine feels cornered and ashamed.

43. Consent------Sexual harassment------Sexual abuse------Sexual assault Jacob has an after-school job at the health club. One of the personal trainers “accidentally” brushes against his body almost every afternoon. Jacob thinks this is creepy, and is thinking of quitting his job.

44. Consent------Sexual harassment------Sexual abuse------Sexual assault • Paula has been dating Luis for several months. At a party, Luis and Paula both drink beer. Luis gets drunk, and insists that Paula have sex with him. She says “no,” but Luis overpowers her.

45. Resources • The Genarlow Wilson Case: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,306176,00.html • NYS Penal Law: http://ypdcrime.com/penal.law/article130.htm • http://www.svfreenyc.org/survivors_factsheet_60.html