Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships

1. Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships

2. Principles of Healthy Dating • Must accept and feel good about ourselves • Communication • Honesty and Openness • Respect

3. Unhealthy Relationships • Poor or inappropriate communication • Lack of respect • Makes one feel less and have lower self-esteem • Possessiveness • Violence or seeking control • Fear • Shallow, lacks openness • Opposite lifestyles • Lack commitment, care, trust, interest

4. Warning Signs of Abusive Relationships • Extreme jealousy – Do Not mistake this with love • Controlling behavior – Do Not let someone tell you what/what not to wear, whom to talk to and where to go • Unrealistic expectations – “If you love me, then you will ________” • Isolation – Do Not let them keep you from going out

5. Warning Signs of Abusive Relationships • Blames you for their problems and feelings • Hypersensitivity – blows things out of proportion • Verbal Abuse • Rigid Sex Roles • Threats of violence • Breaking or striking an argument • Any force during an argument

6. Skills for Avoiding Sexual Risk Taking Saying “No” to Pressures to Have Sex

7. What is Sexual Abstinence? • Voluntarily refraining from intimate sexual behavior which could lead to unintended pregnancy or disease • Includes oral, anal, or vaginal sex

8. “The Future is NOW.”

9. Why is this skill needed for abstinence?Goal Setting Having goals for the future is a protective factor against risk-taking behaviors. What future goals would be disrupted by an unintended pregnancy or incurable STD?

10. Why be abstinent? Personal Reasons: • Not ready/too young • Could disrupt future plans and dreams • Waiting till marriage • Want to protect reputation • Might have serious regrets

11. Why be abstinent? Health Reasons: • To avoid unintended pregnancy • To avoid a sexually transmitted disease • To avoid cervical cancer (females) • To avoid stress and lower self-esteem Some consequences are life-altering (such as an STD which cannot be cured or an unintended pregnancy).

12. Why be abstinent? Relationships Reasons: • Don’t want to hurt or be hurt • Don’t want to disappoint parents • Want to build a friendship • Want to have trust and commitment in the relationship • To practice skills needed for fidelity in marriage

13. What strategies are helpful? Avoid “risky” situations: • Avoid alcohol and drugs • Avoid places and situations which could lead to sex • Plan to be with others or supervised by adults

14. What strategies are helpful? Communicate effectively: • Set personal limits and express those to the other person • Be confident in the decision • Say “no” firmly • Be consistent with body language

15. What strategies are helpful? Try to maintain the friendship UNLESS the person appears to disrespect your wishes by: • Continuing to pressure you • Trying to force you • Encouraging you to use alcohol or drugs

16. What strategies are helpful? • Have a Plan “B”:If someone continues to pressure you beyond your personal limits, what will you do? Hmmm . . . What should I do?

17. Who supports your decision to be abstinent? • Parent(s), guardian(s) • Peers who respect your values • Teachers, counselors, nurses • Faith leaders • Youth leaders • Extended family