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Interpersonal Communication. Dr. Martha Reavley Odette School of Business. Introduction. Key to interpersonal and organizational effectiveness. Topics of Discussion. Models of effective communication: basic model and the pyramid of mutuality Communication styles
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Interpersonal Communication Dr. Martha Reavley Odette School of Business
Introduction • Key to interpersonal and organizational effectiveness
Topics of Discussion • Models of effective communication: basic model and the pyramid of mutuality • Communication styles • Native tongue exercise
The Basic Model of Communication • Sender message receiver • channel • noise
Pyramid of Mutuality Mutual Respect Mutual Meaning Mutual Purpose Silence Violence Withdrawing Hiding Politicking Monologuing Labeling Attacking
Mutuality • A win-win situation that is built on a foundation of trust • Sharing things in common • Seeking for things in common: • interests • goals • values
Mutual Purpose • Common goals or objectives that are built on a foundation of trust • Something we want
Mutual Meaning • Observations, assumptions, conclusions, and feelings that both parties acknowledge as valid • Available Meaning: When ideas, observations, and values are acknowledged and understood, they become part of the available pool of common meaning • Hidden Meaning: Through sharing meaning we become more aware of inconsistencies in our own thinking
Mutual Respect • Critical for maintaining dialogue • Both parties choose to treat each other with dignity, decency, and consideration, based on the assumption that others are reasonable, and decent
Silence - to - Violence continuum Dialogue Violence Silence Withdrawing hiding politicking monologuing labeling attacking
Silence Strategies • Politicking: selectively hiding and showing meaning. We hide our motives or withhold assumptions • Hiding: talking without revealing anything. Manipulative conversations • Withdrawing: Pulling out of communication completely. The most severe form of silence.
Silence Strategies exs. • At work • In school • At home • With friends
Violence Strategies • Monologuing: Talking with the sole purpose of getting what you want. Communication is unidirectional. • Labeling: Turing people into categories or things in order to get what you want. Makes it easier to do or say anything. • Attacking: Communicating for the sole purpose of pushing or hurting. It includes harsh accusation, yelling and raw invective.
Violence strategies exs. • At work • At school • At home • With friends
Strategies Test 1. Let me see if I understand. 2. Oh yeah, you bozo. 3. If you say so. 4. Well, guarantee means a lot of things. So , I guess I could say I guarantee. 5. I can see you’re angry. Is it because we missed the deadline? 6. There’s no time for discussion. Just do it! 7. No, I have nothing to add. I never have anything to add. 8. You bean counters always think that way. 9. I know I missed the meeting, but you guys are doing a terrific job.
Answers 1. Let me see if I understand. -dialogue. Trying to understand 2. Oh yeah, you bozo. - labeling. Name calling 3. If you say so. - Hiding. Decreased meaning 4. Well, guarantee means a lot of things. So , I guess I could say I guarantee. Politicking. Wanting to allow for different definition 5. I can see you’re angry. Is it because we missed the deadline? - dialogue. Trying to understand 6. There’s no time for discussion. Just do it! Monologuing 7. No, I have nothing to add. I never have anything to add. labeling 8. You bean counters always think that way. labeling 9. I know I missed the meeting, but you guys are doing a terrific job. politicking
Effective Communication: A change of heart, not just a change in behaviour
What This Means For Change • Make specific, personal ground rules: I will use a calm voice when speaking to… • Critique your performance: How did you violate the rule? What went wrong? • Manage expectations: begin an interaction with some explanations - “in the past this has ended in shouting match…. • Apologize appropriately to allow dialogue to continue
Next Steps • Commit to effective communication • Understand the problems within your group • Document your progress in you diary