Interpersonal Communication

1. Interpersonal Communication Kira Kloser July 18, 2009 LI 802XC

2. Library Jargon • “Jargon is language that is specific to a profession, an industry or even a hobby. Jargon can be useful as a shorthand or a more economical way of expressing yourself when you are with people who understand it.” • Librarianship is at its heart a service profession, and much of its jargon reflects this. • Because our own jargon seems natural to us, we sometimes forget that others don’t "get it." • http://www.jkup.net/terms.html • http://www.csupomona.edu/~library/tutorials/library_jargon.html • A-Z list of Jargon http://lu.com/odlis/index.cfm • What do you think? Should libraries get rid of it? How else would things be referred to?

3. Cultural Norms • Cultural norms are learned behaviors and beliefs within a specific group; they are agreed upon expectations and rules. • It is improbable for people who frequently work with various cultures to learn all cultural norms. They vary within countries, communities and even families. Cultural norms also change and evolve through generations. Also keep in mind that “few individuals are perfect representations of their culture” (Morrison and Conaway, 2006). • Unfamiliarity with cultural communication differences can lead to misinterpretation, misunderstanding, and even unintentional insult. • Sometimes, when avoiding offending a person of a different culture, it is best to follow the other person’s lead.

4. Non-Verbal Cues & Physical Boundaries • “Research shows that just 7 percent of the messages we send are conveyed through words; the remaining 93 percent of what is being communicated is expressed through eye contact, body language, and facial expression or through the pitch, pace and tone of voice.” (Stein, 2007, pg. 30). (Albert Mehrabian, a pioneer researcher of body language in the 1950's, found that the total impact of a message is about 7 percent verbal (words only) and 38 percent vocal (including tone of voice, inflection, and other sounds) and 55 percent nonverbal.)

5. “People who share the same point of view will often reveal this by assuming similar postures, where as those who disagree will assume different postures” (Martin and Chaney, 2006). • Humans are not always aware that their postures, movements, and gestures can tell one story while they may be telling another. • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cg192cQYUA It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it… Tonya Reiman Author of The Power of Body Language

6. Body language is an outward reflection of a person's emotional condition. Each gesture or movement can be a valuable key to an emotion a person may be feeling at the time. For example, a man who is self-conscious about gaining weight may tug at the fold of skin under his chin; the woman who is aware of extra pounds on her thighs may smooth her dress down; the person who is feeling fearful or defensive might fold their arms or cross their legs or both; and a man talking with a large-breasted woman may consciously avoid staring at her breasts while, at the same time, unconsciously use groping gestures with his hands.

7. Nonverbal continued… • Some experts say nonverbal cues are in fact more important than verbal ones • “Librarians must remember they are in the people business, not the book business…” - Dave Baum • http://www.mouseplanet.com/6978/Disney_Service_Basics

8. Non-Verbal Dos & Don’ts Dos: • Dress appropriately for your community and library and the age of patron you are working with– while expressing yourself • Be poise and ready to engage • Maintain a happy, open, energetic, welcoming expression • Establish eye contact - Make right eye to right eye contact • Acknowledge the presence of a patron by smiling or greeting, nodding or raising eyebrow in recognition • Acknowledge others waiting for service • Remain visible • Rove whenever possible

9. Get down to the level of a child when engaging with them • Don’t exclude the child and talk only to a parent or talk just to the child and ignore the parent • Allow for private conversations, between both patron and librarian and patron to patron • Face the patron when speaking or listening • Reestablish eye contact throughout the exchange • Signal understanding by nodding head • Establish comfortable personal space • Be relaxed and playful with young patrons • Encourage patron to contribute thoughts, respond to patron • Accompany patron when needed • Arrange physical environment to fit the size of small children • Have the environment reflect the age of the people using it – i.e. playful atmosphere for young children, dynamic teen spaces that reflect teen interests • Explain what you are doing • Mirror the speakers body language • Demonstrate excitement and encouragement with successes • Sit with patrons, not only behind the desk • Be Present and Responsive (in the moment) • Choose Your Attitude

10. Don’ts • Don’t put barriers between you and your patrons • Point to where the patron needs to go, give a slip of paper with a location on it • Walk away without explaining where you are going • Talk baby talk • Interrupt with dismissive body language • Appear to be too busy or distracted • Blink Excessively • Cross your arms across your chest • Cover your lips when listening • Move closer to an individual who has adjusted the distance between you • Stand less than 2 feet from an individual, in this culture • Appear hurried • Be threatening either by stature or facial expressions • Look disapprovingly unless you explain you are disapproving of a behavior not the person • Don’t fidget or act impatient in other ways, such as pacing, or scratching or touching your face too often.