The Psychology of Courage: Overcoming Adversities and Living in Harmony

1. The Psychology of Courage NASAP Tap Talk March 25, 2010 Julia Yang and Al Milliren Governors State University Mark Blagen Adler School of Professional Psychology

2. The Music of Courage: Beethoven Piano Concerto No. 3 Beethoven had to transition from keyboard to composition when he began to develop deafness. It was in this transformational process that he moved from contemplating suicide to finishing the masterpiece of Piano Concerto No. 3 which was considered his first ‘new self.’ In the face of adversities and obstacles, how do some individuals retreat to the neurotic style of behaviors while others seem to retain their strengths and continue living? Is neurosis curable? Is it possible for one to be in harmony with oneself when life seems to be full of contradictions and when problems of living appear so demanding?

3. Problems of the 20th Century and Psychological Responses Apathy Affectlessness A Psychology o fear: (psychology resolution by recognition and description of fear and anxiety) Mental heath defined as the absence of mental illness

5. Tasks of Life • Problems and solutions are inseparable It is through the training of these life tasks that the individual is connected to the world with his/her abilities to cooperate and contribute. • Attitudes toward society: our approaches toward life tasks (i.e. homework on this earth) • Life plan: unique style of getting there • Basic and existential life tasks

6. Basic Life Tasks Defined • Work: contribution to the welfare of others • Friendship: embracing social relationships with comrades and relatives • Love: the most intimate union and represents the strongest and closest emotional relationship that can exist between two human beings

7. What are we afraid of?In response to our fear, what do people think, feel and do?

8. The Evasion of Life Tasks • Avoiding life challenges/ Responsibilities • Focus only one or two tasks but neglect the rest • Habits of avoiding dealing with fears • Bad compensations: Fear based striving • Consequence: What we fear may just come true

9. The “No” Attitudes The aggressive character traits: vanity, ambition, playing God, jealousy, envy, and greed—all are connected in hostility, negligence, and the need to dominate and to be right or “better than.” The non-aggressive traits: withdrawal, anxiety, timidity, absence of social grace, and the detour syndromes such as laziness, frequent change of occupations, petty crimes, or “less than” attitudes

10. The No Attitudes

11. The “Yes” Attitudes

12. Do you worry? How does worry help you? Is the cost of worrying greater than the cost of changing? What is the purpose of your worrying? What stops you from changing? What are some of your “Yes”, “Yes/But”, and “No” attitudes toward solving the problem you are worried about?

13. Problems of Social LivingIt is all about “ the relationship of the individual to the problems of the outside world” Love Work Friends Self Universe

14. Sample Socratic QuestionsWork: What constitutes your work, your activities, in life? What meaning does it have for you? How do you get along with colleagues, supervisors, and subordinates? Do you feel appreciated for your work? Love: What are your love relationships like? Do you experience emotional closeness with partners? Do you have any difficulty in expressing or receiving love and affection to and from others? How would you describe men and women? How do you feel about your self as a man or woman? What do you complain about in your partner? What does your partner complain about in you?Friendship: Who are your friends and what kind of life do you have in your community? Where do you meet your friends? What activities do you do with them? What is your role with them? How would they describe you? Was making friends easy for you? Who was (were) your best friend growing up?

15. Social Interest: What Is It? Gemeinschaftsgefuhl: social feeling, community feeling, fellow feeling, sense of solidarity, communal intuition, community interest, social sense, and social interest. The ability to cooperate and contribute.

16. Social interest is “to see with the eyes of another, to hear with the ears of another, to feel with the heart of another” (ansbacher & Ansbacher, 1956, p.135).

17. Abilities of Cooperation and Contribution The child and the mother/care taker The ability to give and take A part of the whole The willingness to accept (the good and the bad) I am here: Immediate problem solving What impairs the development?

18. Abilities of Cooperation and Contribution Readiness to demand less than one offers No expectation of rewards Personal benefit < general welfare The feeling of self worth The feeling of usefulness Social evolution What impairs the development?

19. What Is Mental Health? Successful coping with the challenges of life where social interest is manifested in the tasks of life. Health is the capacity (a dynamic balance) to overcome disease.

20. More on Mental Health The cure of apathy via the courage for community feeling The extent to which the individual experiences belonging/significance via contribution and cooperation

21. A Measure of Mental Health

22. What is Courage? Adlerian Psychology Courage is to risk cooperation and contribution via the demands of life tasks (i.e. to work, to love, to relate, to be and to believe) that lead to the sense of community feeling.

23. The Courage to Spiritual Wellbeing: The Will to Power • Will—a basic feature of our existence * According to nature, we want to live * To live is to achieve the tasks set for us • Power—the ability to overcome disease and suffering.

24. More on Courage • Tillich described courage as “…the power of life to affirm itself in spite of this ambiguity…” --The Courage to Be • May (1983) suggested that the concept of will to power implies ‘generalization’ or ‘self actualization’, as an expansion of one’s self. —The discovery of being

25. The Courage to Strive Means self actualization A call to man to affirm himself in his existence with strength and commitment. Is built into every individual Requires the courageous living out of the potentialities in our own existence

26. Striving: Direction and Movement • all human striving originates from a sense of inferiority that propels our will to power to make belief. • The will to power as a psychological force in relation to the striving for superiority as a compensatory response to inferiority

27. Overcoming • a process of creative energy desiring to exert one’s will in self-overcoming and interaction with the world • It leads us to either normal self-enhancement in the interest of others, or a safeguarding tendency endlessly striving for perfection

28. Movement of Striving and Overcoming: Life Style The creative power of each individual generates movement toward his/her unique life goals that were established early in life. In this movement, our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors are consistent with our private logic as well as our style of life. Our life style is a map of how we creatively move from the feelings of incompletion to completion, in other words, from feelings of being “less than” to the goal of perfection.

29. Notes on Life Style • “the entire individual life line has the tendency toward overcoming, a striving for superiority” • Our life style is a map of how we creatively move from the feelings of incompletion to completion, in other words, from feelings of being “less than” to the goal of perfection.

30. Know Thyself • …is to know one’s direction in life, how one relates to world, self, and othersvia the five life tasks. • (See handout Figure of Life Movement and Attitudes.)

31. The Courage to Belong When we successfully meet these life tasks, we express an essential feeling of belonging. This feeling of belonging, of having a place with our fellow humans, mitigates the experience of fear, loneliness, and desperation. Our sense of belonging gives us—courage-and in many cases, confidence—as we move toward our personal and collective goals in life. (Sonstegard and Bitter)

32. The Courage of Recovery Addiction is an effective way of evading life tasks for the individuals who lack courage to participation in their social relationships. Giving hope to the hopeless: the A.A. community approach Fake it till you make it, progress not perfection, do the next right thing, it works if you work it…

33. Community Feeling at Work: The Courage of Recovery …We are people who normally would not mix. But there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful. We are like the passengers of a great liner the moment after rescue from shipwreck when camaraderie, joyousness and democracy pervade the vessel from steerage to Captain's table. Unlike the feelings of the ship's passengers, however, our joy in escape from disaster does not subside as we go our individual ways. The feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement which binds us. But that in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined.…The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. (Alcoholics Anonymous)

34. The Courage of In Spite of… “To venture causes anxiety, but not venture is to lose oneself”…Availing oneself of possibilities, confronting the anxiety, and accepting the responsibility and guilt feeling involved result in increased self-awareness, freedom, and enlarged spheres of creativity. (May) The courage to be is the “courage to accept oneself as accepted in spite of being unacceptable. (Tillich) To accept is to take, seize, or catch requiring the “yes, in spite of” attitudes (e.g. faith, hope, love)

35. We must understand that courage is a social function, because only the person who considers himself [or herself] as part of the whole can have courage. We find courage when a person feels at home, when he [or she] does not consider merely the acceptable part of life as belonging to him [or her], but also the unacceptable things; who accepts the difficulties in our culture as a task on which he [or she] has to work to improve the situation for all. – Adler

36. Reference Yang, J., Milliren, A., & Blagen, M. (2010). The psychology of courage: An Adlerian Handbook for Healthy social living. NY: Routledge. http://www.routledgementalhealth.com/the-psychology-of-courage-9780415965194