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Dealing with Difficult People

Dealing with Difficult People. Kelley School of Business X420 Class. Discussion Session # 22 Feb. 15, 2005. Dealing with Difficult People? Simple, n’est pas …?. …no, this is the WRONG attitude for dealing with problem folks….

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Dealing with Difficult People

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  1. Dealing with Difficult People Kelley School of Business X420 Class Discussion Session # 22 Feb. 15, 2005

  2. Dealing with Difficult People? Simple, n’est pas…? …no, this is the WRONG attitude for dealing with problem folks…

  3. Your attitude is the key to dealing successfully with difficult people on the job, or off…. Attitude IS everything when it comes to dealing with any task, as well as difficult people or situations….

  4. The “can do” attitude is fundamental 

  5. You communicate attitude in three ways. ….the percentages….

  6. Three attitude types -- NEUTRAL POSITIVE NEGATIVE

  7. How to do an “attitude adjustment”…. • “Listen” to yourself • words • tone of voice • body language • Think good thoughts • Pursue happiness • Don’t “second guess” yourself

  8. “Attitude maintenance”…. • Start fresh every day • Clarify your purpose • Visualize your future • Express your feelings • Seek out positive influences

  9. To deal with a negative person you should… • Determine your level of involvement • Try to understand where they’re coming from • Influence their attitude • Help resolve the source problems • Recover from the experience

  10. Negative Attitudes = Difficult People Among the most difficult - the “Hostile Aggressive” types… The Sherman Tank…. The Sniper…. The Exploder….

  11. The “Sherman Tank” ...they bully and push people around…. • Stand up to them • But don’t get into an argument • Maintain a civil but undaunted composure • Keep your cool • Once you’ve stood up to them, be ready to be friendly

  12. The “Sniper” …they are sarcastic and critical…. • Smoke them out • Polite confrontation in private about the “jokes” • “Did you mean it that way?” • Challenge them every time in this manner • KEEP YOUR COOL!

  13. The “Exploder” …normal one moment, out of control the next…. • After explosion, do nothing but look them in the eye • Take a break, get some privacy • Offer a pragmatic plan of action • KEEP YOUR COOL!

  14. You may have noticed a theme here…. To misquote Kipling, “If you can keep your cool when all about you are losing theirs….”

  15. The “Complainer” will whine about everything. • Listen actively • Get them involved in solutions • Don’t apologize

  16. The “clam” – silent and unresponsive no matter what. • After opening conversation, go silent • Friendly silent stare • Non-confrontational comment on the silent treatment • Emphasize how important the work is • Schedule another meeting

  17. The “super-agreeable” -- always says yes, and usually let you down. • Strongly state your sympathies with their workload pressure • Offer to help them get the job done • Go for “win/win” compromises so they can relax. • Don’t keep accepting false agreements

  18. “Naysayer” – says no to anything • Come back with a positive but realistic statement • Never argue with a negativist • Acknowledge what they say • Show alternatives • Explore worst case scenarios • Be ready to act alone

  19. The “Know-it-all” is always right…. • Paraphrase back at them their solution • Propose alternatives as questions • Give them a way to save face when • they’re wrong • Know your facts • Be positive (it’s an attitude thing) • Thank them for their help

  20. The “Indecisive” waits until you or chance decides for them. • Ask them for help with specific task problems • Offer your problem-solving ideas • Find out the real reason for indecisiveness, and help • Give them your support after decisions are made

  21. Your positive attitude is your best weapon in dealing with difficult people. • Be open and honest • Keep your smile • Stay frosty, don’t let anger divert you • Calm directness will win out • Cultivate patience

  22. EVALUATION QUESTIONS • USE: • a. Strongly Agree • b. Agree • c. Disagree • d. Strongly Disagree • e. Don’t Know • This Advantage session increased my knowledge on the subject presented. • I will be able to use some of the information from this Advantage session in the future. • The presenter was well prepared for this session. • I found the presentation material easy to understand. • This presentation should be repeated in future semesters.

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