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Dealing with Difficult People

Dealing with Difficult People. Maureen McGarvey International House London. With the person next to you …. Briefly describe a recent difficult encounter you had . Consider : How prepared were you for the conversation? Did the other party have a valid point to make?

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Dealing with Difficult People

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  1. Dealing with Difficult People • Maureen McGarvey • International House London

  2. With the person next to you…. • Brieflydescribe a recent difficult encounter you had.

  3. Consider: • How prepared were you for the conversation? • Did the other party have a valid point to make? • Did you manage to get your view across to the other party? • .

  4. Now consider: • How did you feel at the end? • Looking back, is there anything you would do differently next time?

  5. Dealing with difficult people…. • Without them dealing with you!

  6. Difficult people are…. • Rude • Obnoxious • Arrogant • Demanding

  7. So we become… • Defensive • Loud • Withdrawing • Superior • Confused

  8. They are the difficult people… • And we are the nice people…. • But it looks like we are doing the same thing!

  9. Cycle of conflict

  10. Possibly…. • This can define our relationship with them • They might tell others that we are ‘difficult’ • We might resent them

  11. A Quote…. • ‘Resentment is like taking poison, and waiting for the other person to die’ • [MalachyMacourt]

  12. Another Quote…. • ‘Problems cannot be solved at the same level of awareness which created them’ [Einstein]

  13. Some Golden Rules: • Don't apologise • Forget about the padding • Don't explain • Concentrate on the core phrase • Have a fall back position in mind • Be aware of body language • Don't hang around

  14. Thomas Kilmann Communication Styles:

  15. Thomas Kilmann Communication Styles: • Seeking to satisfy the other person’s concerns/needs at the expense of one’s own

  16. Thomas Kilmann Communication Styles: • Neglecting our needs and others’ by not confronting the crux of the issue

  17. Thomas Kilmann Communication Styles: • Seeking an expedient middle ground; partial satisfaction for both parties

  18. Thomas Kilmann Communication Styles: • Working with the other person to find a solution which fully satisfies all concerns.

  19. Thomas Kilmann Communication Styles: • Using whatever is possible to win at others’ expense.

  20. The 3F Principle [Taylor and Lester] • Facts • Feelings • Future

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