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Dealing with Difficult People

Dealing with Difficult People. (Working interdependently through conflict). Think back to the most difficult person you ever had to deal with. Get a mental picture of them. Did they look like this!. How about this?. No? Well how about this?. Difficult People.

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Dealing with Difficult People

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  1. Dealing with Difficult People (Working interdependently through conflict)

  2. Think back to the most difficult person you ever had to deal with. Get a mental picture of them. Did they look like this!

  3. How about this?

  4. No? Well how about this?

  5. Difficult People • The truth is, the difficult people we all have to “deal” or work with look just like us. • Have you ever been a difficult person? • No coffee!!! • This can make me a very difficult person to deal with.

  6. Difficult People Trading Cards: Once the music starts you will move around the room trading cards. When it stops find someone with a card that is a different color than yours. While the music is playing ponder the most difficult person you ever had to deal with.

  7. Dealing with difficult people. • Okay, take a moment and answer these questions in response to the difficult person you had to deal with. • Was it professional or personal? • How did you feel? • How do you think they felt?

  8. Dealing with Difficult People • How did the situation turn out? (Was it a win/win, win/lose, lose/win, or lose/lose?) • What did you learn from the situation? • What, if anything, would you (did you) do differently after that encounter?

  9. Situations • A planned meeting. • A spontaneous meeting. • An ambush!

  10. People we encounter. • Students • Parents • Relatives • Sales People • Peers • Administrators (Not any of ours of course!)

  11. Communicative Intelligence • It is very important and helpful to get to know those we work with. Knowing what motivates them, what their needs are, and what their goals are can be very beneficial in helping work with difficult people.

  12. Characteristics/Variables of Difficult People • Personality • : the collection of emotional and behavioral traits that characterize a person.

  13. Kahler’s Six Personality Types(From Kahler, T. (1982). Personality pattern inventory validation studies. Little Rock, AR: Kahler Communications, Inc., and Kahler, T. (1996) Personality Pattern Inventory. • Reactor • Workaholic • Persister • Dreamer • Rebel • Promoter

  14. Personality Types TypeCharacter StrengthsPerception Reactor compassionate, sensitive, warm Emotions Workaholic responsible, logical, organized Thoughts Persister conscientious, dedicated, observant Opinions Dreamer reflective, imaginative, calm Inaction Rebel creative, spontaneous, playful Reactions Promoter resourcesful, adaptable, charming Actions

  15. Motivational Needs of Personality Types Type Needs Recognition Reactor of person/sensory stimulation Workaholic for ability to think clearly, work time structure Persister for work, convictions, and commitment Dreamer (solitude) Rebel (playful contact) Promoter (incidence, excitement)

  16. Placemat Consensus • Okay, everyone get into groups of four (each color should be represented). • In working with difficult people, what are positive absolutes (necessary to effectively work with difficult people)?

  17. Placemat Consensus • Okay, now brainstorm negative absolutes (what things cannot be present because they hinder collaboration and successful resolution of conflict)?

  18. The LAST Principle:LISTEN • Listen: to pay attention in order to hear. • Hear: to gain knowledge of by hearing, to heed, to learn, to attend to. • It is very difficult to really listen when thinking about your next verbal flurry (Real men learn to listen.)

  19. APOLOGIZE • Apoligize: to express regret. • Empathize: to experience as one’s own the feelings of another. • (Empathy defuses very volatile situations, but doesn’t necessarily mean concession.)

  20. SOLVE • Solve: to find an answer for or solution to. • It doesn’t mean they are always going to like it!

  21. THANK • Thank: to express gratitude; conscious of benefit received. • Must be genuine. Don’t patronize! You can get better at this with practice.

  22. Enough is Enough • You don’t have to put up with abuse in any situation. If the person you are dealing with is vulgar, threatening, loud, in need of deodorant or belligerent, calmly let them know that the meeting is over and thank them for coming. • Okay, just kidding about the deodorant, but how many of you can relate?

  23. Practice • The next time you encounter a difficult person try to remember the LAST principle and implement it. • Reflect on your interaction and learn and grow from it. • Remember forgiveness sets you free.

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