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English 21. Week 9. Freewrite:. Think about the one of the changes you have observed in the place you are writing about for our second essay . What is your opinion of the change? Is it a good thing? A bad thing? Why did it happen?. Discuss Reading Response.
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English 21 Week 9
Freewrite: • Think about the one of the changes you have observed in the place you are writing about for our second essay. • What is your opinion of the change? • Is it a good thing? A bad thing? • Why did it happen?
Discuss Reading Response • “The Homecoming and Then the Hard Part” • This story is an example of an individual who has changed and their difficulty returning to a place that has not changed. • How does this relate to our prompt for Essay 2? • This reading is an example of an Alternative Prompt to for Essay 2 • Instead of writing about a place or community that has changed, you can choose to write about changes within YOURSELF that make returning to a particular community or place a challenge (as in this essay)
Grammar Section: Active/Passive Voice and Consistent Tense
Consistent Verb Tense • When we write, we need to keep our verb tense consistent unless there we shift to talking about a different time and it makes sense to change the tense. (See p. 240) • This is a required (meaning correct, appropriate) tense shift: Even though she cleans the counter every day, (present – habitual action) she found ants in her kitchen last week. (past)
Consistent Tense Cont. • This is an unnecessary, incorrect tense shift: • I went to Disneyland last week. We go on all of the rides and buy souvenirs. • How can we correct this sentence?
Consistent Tense • Incorrect: I went to Disneyland last week. We go on all of the rides and buy souvenirs. • Correct: I went to Disneyland last week. We went on all of the rides and bought souvenirs. • The present tense verbs “go” and “buy” have been changed to reflect the fact that these events happened in the past (last week).
Shifts in Person and Number • Shifts can also happen in person and number. • Together, we will review the section in the book: page 238 – 239
Practice Quiz: • Do exercise 9-9 on 241 • Make the verb tense consistent, and choose the tense that makes the most sense with what the sentence is saying. • We will do #1 and #2 as a class. • Do Exercise 9-10 on page 241-242 • This exercise includes shifts in person, number, and verb tense. • One of the sentences is correct. Write “correct” beside that one.
Break Time! • Please return in 15 - 20 minutes.
Active and Passive Voice p. 277 • In sentences that are ACTIVE VOICE, the subject performs the action of the verb. • Example: John hit the ball through the stained glass window. • Who did the hitting in this sentence? The subject (John) did. • In sentences that are PASSIVE VOICE, the action of the verb happens to the subject. The subject does not do anything. • Example: The stained glass window was broken during the game. • What did the subject (the window) do? Nothing.
When to use Active or Passive Voice • In most situations, active voice is the better choice for your writing. • It is less wordy, and it forces you to be more specific. • Passive: The little boy was put to bed by his father. • Active: The father put the little boy to bed. less wordy, smoother, easier to read.
Is Passive Voice ever a good thing? • Passive voice is a good choice when it is unknown who performed the action. • Example: The painting was stolen last month. (By whom? We don’t know….) • Passive voice also works well when the person/thing the action happened to is more important that the person/thing that performed the action. • Example: The president was attacked by a masked man. (We want to draw attention to the fact that it was the president who was attacked. The masked man is less important.)
Practice with Active and Passive Voice • Rewrite the sentences in exercise 10-13 and 10-14 in p. 278-279 so that they use active voice instead of passive voice.
Thesis Statements for Illustration Essays • Thesis statement for this essay: • Should let your audience know what the general change you will be addressing is. • Should be making some comment or expressing some opinion or idea about that change. • A poorly written thesis statement: “The place that I lived has changed a lot over time and now it’s really different, and I guess I don’t really like it as much now.” • How can we improve this thesis statement?
A Revised Thesis Example for Essay 2: • Original: • “The place that I lived has changed a lot over time and now it’s really different, and I guess I don’t really like it as much now.” • Revision: • “My parents’ hometown has attracted more chain restaurants and stores over the years, and as a result many one of a kind mom-and-pop restaurants have gone out of business, and the town feels less unique and more like everywhere else.”
Group Work: Groups of 3 • Read and Discuss the Guidelines for Writing Thesis Statements on page 478-479. • Your book mentions 6 different ways a thesis statement can be revised: keep these in mind when you write your own thesis statements.
Advice on Your Essay • If you are having trouble thinking of a community to write about: • Broaden your definition of "community." It doesn't have to be a physical place. It can be an online community, a faith community, etc. • Even if you think that a place is exactly the same as it was ten or twenty years ago, it's likely that others have noticed some changes. • Ask them, and incorporate what they tell you into your essay. • Try to narrow your place/community down. An entire country is too big to handle in one essay. Choose a specific part of the country you want to write about.
For the Rest of Class… • Get out the outline I asked you to bring to class • (it’s on the back of your Essay 2 Prompt) • Revise the thesis statement you already wrote, or come up with a new thesis statement for youressay. • Discuss your thesis statement with your group. Get suggestions for improvement, or how you might support that thesis statement. • Then brainstorm the rest of your outline with your groups. Once your have some suggestions, start work on a freewrite/draft of your essay to take home with you • Remember, we are writing illustration essays. This means that we are using interesting, detailed, vivid examples to show our main point. • PLEASE NOTE: It is not too late to change your topic if you have thought of something that might work better!
Next Week: Peer Review for Essay 2 Week 10 – Tuesday, October 29In Class: Peer Review for Essay 2. Due: • Rough Draft of Essay 2. Bring 4 typed copies to class for Peer Review and my comments. • MSL: Achieve Mastery in “Pronouns” in the “Basic Grammar” module