Sept. 29, 2011 (No Stamp)

1. Sept. 29, 2011 (No Stamp) • {Copy Learning Objective} • Today, we will discover how authors use dialogue, sensory details, imagery, and figurative language to catch the readers’ attention.

2. 1. Capitalization: Only write the words that need to be capitalized. Should I have asked grandma to meet us at rustlers’ market? 2. Punctuation: Write the sentence out with proper punctuation. Tomorrow are we going over to Carlos house 3. Sentence or Fragment? Write sentence or fragment for each letter. A. We decided to leave before it got any worse. B. Since she can keep a secret. C. When you’ve finished fixing the mower. 4. Sentence Combining: Rewrite these sentences into one sentence. Goldilocks went into the kitchen. She saw three bowls of porridge. The bowls of porridge were on the table. One bowl was large. One bowl was middle-sized. One was small. 5. Sentence Imitation: Rewrite the sentence. Keep the structure. Change the content. Be creative. Bump up your vocabulary! Everyone knew what he had done, yet no one moved.

3. It’s Possible that… • Checking for sentence fragments and complete sentences! • Use a comma and a FANBOY to combine two COMPLETE sentences or use a semi-colon!!! • Everyone knew what he had done, yet no one moved. • It’s possible that everyone knew what he had done. • It’s possible that no one moved. • Everyone knew what he had done; no one moved.

4. 1. The thunderstorm is getting closer, the weather report said that winds would be high. • 2. Things are not always what they seem, and that's what worries me. • 3. Ken is usually in a better mood he seems to be angry about something. • 4. We didn't invite them because they've always hated to drive at night. • 5. The bottom step is broken, be careful going downstairs. • 6. Since she can keep a secret, there's no reason to whisper. • 7. The semester is ending, it's going to be Christmas soon. • 8. When you've finished fixing the mower, please cut the lawn. • 9. She was the wrong woman, however he was fascinated by her. • 10. He wanted to climb the highest mountain and swim the deepest river, but he had to settle for getting a good job. • 11. The child held her breath; she dove under the water.

5. Your Writing Goals • Look over all marks on your Friendly Letter • Read your rubric carefully • Begin filling in the first section of “Writing Goals” on the handout.

6. Transferring Rubrics • What ever grade you got on your 6 traits rubric needs to be transferred to the Orange Rubric • Step 1: Look at the bottom Scoring section see whether you got 13-14 (advanced A), an 11-12 (Proficient B) and 8-10 (C/D Needs improvement) or a (0-7 Failing) • Step 2: Once you have figured out your point value circle the correct amount of points in each of the three columns to meet that point value. • Step 3: Circle numbers in the 3rd Column 1st. Most people got a 1 for “Easy to read” and for “Sufficient Length.” However, if you had Emerging or Novice for Idea Development use must circle the 0 for sufficient length. • Step 4: Circle a number in the Content Column and Form Column that add up to your overall total • Step 5: Put your name and all info on top

7. Lets Read • Let’s Plot • Let’s Label

8. Showing Not Telling “Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the flint of light on broken glass.”

9. Please take Cornell Notes on this PowerPoint! • The major subjects you will learn in this PowerPoint deal with strategies for showing the reader the story instead of telling the reader the story. • For example: • Telling: The girls were excited. • Showing: Giggles and screams filled the arena. The soft curls were now damp with perspiration and the anticipation of the event. They held tight to each other in a mock effort to contain themselves. Arms flailed upward, and voices echoed in varying tones. The moment was here.

10. Example 2: http://www.writedesignonline.com/assignments/shownottell.html • Telling: The room was vacant. • Showing: The door opened with a resounding echo that seemed to fill the house. Cob webs once attached flowed freely in the air as the open door brought light to a well worn floor. The light gave notice to the peeling paint on the walls and to the silhouettes once covered by pictures. The new air gave life to a stuffiness that entrapped the room. Faded and torn white sheets covered once new furniture now drowning in dust.

11. Using Figurative Language • Telling:The girl is in love. • Showing:She's so happy, this girl,she's sending out sparks like a brush fire,so lit with lifeher eyes could beam airplanes through fog,so warm with his lovingwe could blacken our toaston her forehead.

12. Yet Another Example • Telling: The coffee was enjoyable. • Showing:She cradled the mug in both hands and leaned her head over it in the rising steam. Pursing her lips, she blew softly over the clouded surface and let her eyelids drop. Her shoulders rose slightly as she breathed in, and she hummed with her head low. I lifted the tiny porcelain pitcher and poured a brief rotating arch of white into the black depths of my own cup. She opened her eyes, and we looked at each other across the table without speaking.

13. You try… • I am nervous. • It was a day unlike any other day. • The sunset was surreal. • The story hit a nerve. • The pizza was delicious. • He is angry. • The morning is beautiful.

14. Writer use the following techniques to Show Not Tell. • Dialogue • Figurative Language • Sensory Language • Imagery • Character Thoughts: Flashforward, Flashback, Inner conflict • Exploding the Moment

15. Using Dialogue to Show Not Tell: http://teenwriting.about.com/cs/dialogue/ht/DialogueWork.htm • Rules for Writing Quotations Correctly • Every time the speaker changes in the conversation, you begin a new paragraph (even if it is just one word) • Use quotation marks only around the character’s exact words. • The first word in the quote is always capitalized. • Always separate the speaker from the quote with punctuation (commas, end punctuation) • Punctuation marks go inside the quotation marks

16. TIE Strategy: the speaker may be placed at the beginning, middle, or end of the quotation. • TIE: Tag on, Introduce with, Embed • Tag on—place speaker at the end • Introduce—place speaker at the beginning • Embed—place speaker in the middle of the quote

17. Here is How TIE Looks • Tag: “Knock it off!” yelled Pedro. • Introduce: She warned, “Do it now or you’ll regret it.” • Embed: “Do it now,” she warned, “or you’ll regret it.”

18. Correctly punctuate and capitalize the following sentences using dialogue. Follow the Rules! • Bill told me not to go in there Sarah recalled. • Lisa asked since when do you listen to anything Bill ever says? • Lisa Sarah replied Bill’s not so bad once you get to know him. • You’ve got that right Bill said as he peered over their shoulders. http://www.writing-world.com/fiction/dialogue.shtml

19. Snapshot = imagery using sensory language Slow Motion Moments.   When do they use slow motion in a movie?  The good bits, the dramatic parts , the moments where something is at  stake.  It’s the same way in writing. Use your lens to zoom in with sights, sounds, smells, tastes. A snapshot is a specific description of an important physical detail in the story that enables readers to see a picture of it in their minds and experience it through writing

20. Imagery: Description (how many senses described) • Telling: The coffee was enjoyable. • Showing:She cradled the mug in both hands and leaned her head over it in the rising steam. Pursing her lips, she blew softly over the clouded surface and let her eyelids drop. Her shoulders rose slightly as she breathed in, and she hummed with her head low. I lifted the tiny porcelain pitcher and poured a brief rotating arch of white into the black depths of my own cup. She opened her eyes, and we looked at each other across the table without speaking.

21. (Internal Conflict)They'll never know if I don't tell them. Why do I always feel like I have to honest with them? Susan Brown isn't with her parents and they never find out. Not like those TV shows where the parents always find out in the end. • (Imagery)Sarah stood by the front door, her hair blown in all directions. She could still hear the faint sound of Spike's Harley hitting third gear as he hit Main Street. She opened the door and sneaked into the hallway. Her feet sank in to the carpet. • (Character Thoughts) Oh my gosh! It's late. I knew we should have left earlier. If I could just get to my room, I could tell them I was in bed already. • (Dialogue)"Sarah, is that you?" • (Dialogue)"Yes, Mom." • (Imagery)Sarah held her hands behind her back and shifted side to side on her feet. • (Dialogue)"Honey, what happened to your hair? Was there a hurricane?"

22. (Dialogue) "Oh, Mom, you know how kids are. They kept all the windows open." • (Imagery)Sarah pulled her hair together in a ponytail and let it fall over her back. • (Dialogue) “Tell me about the dance. You were with Spike, weren't you?" • (Character’s Thoughts)Sarah felt as if the floor was moving like a ship caught in an ocean swell. I will tell her, she thought. I always tell her. • (Dialogue)"What a ridiculous thing to say!“ • (Imagery)Mom walked to the cupboard and took out a bottle of aspirin.

23. Character’s Thoughts: Character thoughts are another way to include detail in your writing.  When the reader can hear the character’s thoughts it allows the him/her to pause and reflect on a particular event or a detail. Flashforward: the character anticipates what consequences might occur if he or she acts in a certain way Flashback: the character thinks about how something happening at the moment relates to events in his or her past. This is also used to develop a character. Internal Conflict: the character debates whether you should do one thing or another and consider the pros and cons of both courses of action.