Welcome to the Open Sky Webinar

1. Welcome to the Open Sky Webinar We will be starting at 6pm – see you soon!

2. Personal Growth for Parents Rebecca Wildbear, MS, LPC Clinical Therapist Open Sky Wilderness Therapy

3. AGENDA • Crisis as opportunity: your child’s challenges as a call to your personal journey • Identifying your old patterns and stories • Utilizing Bill Plotkin’s Map of the Psyche to engage the resource areas of your psyche • Growth Across the Life Span: Bill Plotkins’ model, the Soul-centric Developmental Wheel

4. A CALL DEEPER INWARD

5. “THE JOURNEY” One day you finally knewwhat you had to do, and began,though the voices around youkept shoutingtheir bad advice ‑though the whole housebegan to trembleand you felt the old tugat your ankles.“Mend my life!”each voice cried.But you didn’t stop.You knew what you had to do,though the wind priedwith its stiff fingersat the very foundations,though their melancholywas terrible.  It was already late                                                                                   enough, and a wild night,and the road full of fallenbranches and stones.But little by little,as you left their voices behind,the stars began to burnthrough the sheets of clouds,and there was a new voicewhich you slowlyrecognized as your own,that kept you companyas you strode deeper and deeperinto the world,determined to dothe only thing you could do ‑determined to savethe only life you could save. -Mary Oliver

6. REFLECTIONS: • Which sentence in the poem connects most to your own life? • Where in the poem are you right now? • What’s the “old tug” and the “voices shouting their bad advice” for you? • What is your “new voice” that is stepping forward?

7. CAUGHT IN THE OLD STRUGGLE

8. “ONE SOURCE OF BAD INFORMATION” There’s a boy in you about threeYears old who hasn’t learned a thing for thirtyThousand years. Sometimes it’s a girl. This child has to make up its mindHow to save you from death.He says things like: “Stay home. Avoid elevators. Eat only elk.” You live with this child but you don’t know it.You are in the office, yes, but live with this boyAt night. He’s uninformed, but he does want To save your life. And he has. Because of this boyYou survived a lot. He’s got six big ideas.Five don’t work. Right now he’s repeating them to you. -Robert Bly

9. BRINGING AWARENESS TO WHAT IS AUTOMATIC • What is your default setting in times of challenge? • Rescuer • Victim • Tyrant • Enabler • Co-dependent • Critical Parent • Conformist • Rebel When and how does this pattern arise in your life?

10. THE LOYAL SOLDIER • Another name for our default setting – introducing the “loyal soldier” • Motivated by fear • Keeps us safe in an old story or mode of being • Protects you by doing what it always has • Example thoughts: -“Nothing is going to change” -“You can’t do that”

11. EMBRACING YOUR INNER NURTURING PARENT

12. “THE GUEST HOUSE” This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they're a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight.  The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond. -Rumi

13. QUALITIES OF THE INNER NURTURING PARENT • Compassionate • Good listener • Allows all feelings • Rooted/Grounded • Devoted to a larger purpose • Generative -Is there a person in your own childhood who held some of these qualities for you? -How easy or difficult is it for you to feel these qualities in yourself?

14. PRACTICES TO EMBRACE YOUR INNER NURTURING PARENT • Remember a person in your own life who is or has been particularly nurturing • Write a love letter to yourself as if you were this person • Go for a walk in nature and find a place that feels especially nurturing, perhaps a tree or large rock. Sit or lay there and let yourself feel held and loved in your body.

15. Map of the Psyche: Journey to Wholeness N Nurturing Parent S Loyal Soldiers: habitual patterns, survival strategies W E Wounded Selves: conformist, victim, rebel, prince/princess Wild, Magical, Indigenous Self

16. EMBRACING YOUR WOUNDED SELVES

17. “GENUINE BROKEN HEART” In the very middle of the chest, deep deep inside Something has broken And it hurts almost all the time. Sometimes it gives birth to anxiety, fear, and panic. Sometimes it gives birth to anger, resentment, and blame. Sometimes it gives birth to tears. This is our kinship with all who have loved truly— From beginningless time. You, my dear friend, understand it well This genuine heart of sadness can teach us great compassion. It humbles The Arrogant and softens The Unkind. This genuine heart of sadness can teach us great Fearlessness. It awakens Those who prefer to sleep and pierces through Indifference. This continual ache of the human heart— broken by the Loss of all that we hold dear Is this not a blessing Which when accepted fully — can be shared With all? -PemaChodron

18. WOUNDED SELVES • Conformist • Victim • Rebel • Prince/princess -What do you know about your wounded self? -Which one of these four tendencies is most familiar to you?

19. EMBRACING YOUR WILD SELF

20. “MY WILDISH SELF” I want to live in the twilight country of my wildish self,dwell there in the mysterious betweensof dark mountains,in the deep caves scarred with sacred triangles. I want to wander alone, elusive,pulsing like breath or waves of light. In my dreams I go thereto chant with all my voicesdervish spin to natural rhythms, feel whatever truths there arerise and swell under my feet,the vibration of a great beating heart.I want to live in the twilight countryof my wildish self,a deer leaping into moons of light as if summoned, seeking some reasonto fall down closer to the earth. -Reni Fulton

21. WHY EMBRACE YOUR WILD SELF? • Awakens your aliveness • Revives your passion for life • Connects you to the natural world • Helps you discover what you enjoy about living • Is connected to your heart and authentic self

22. MAP OF THE PSYCHE: PUTTING IT TOGETHER N • Which aspect of the psyche is active in your life? • Develop a plan to strengthen your inner nurturing parent and wild self aspects Nurturing Parent S Loyal Soldiers: habitual patterns, survival strategies Wounded Selves: conformist, victim, rebel, prince/princess Wild, Magical, Indigenous Self

23. GROWING THROUGH THE LIFE SPAN

24. BILL PLOTKIN’S SOULCENTRIC DEVELOPMENTAL WHEEL

25. THINGS TO CONSIDER • Read Bill Plotkin’s book, Nature and the Human Soul • Which stage are you in now? • What are some unfinished tasks of earlier stages that you could complete now? • Look for supportive people, programs, and places to continue your own personal growth and development

26. Thank you for participating today! Contact information for the presenter:Rebecca Wildbear, MA, LPCwildbear@openskywilderness.com(435) 691-3021 Please keep this browser window open; when the webinar is over, it will take you to a survey for today’s session.