Rollo May

1. Rollo May 1909-1994

2. Has technology enhanced and/or impaired our ability to experience others, ourselves, and the world around us? What would your life be like if you were unplugged from the world? http://withoutmedia.wordpress.com/ http://www.icmpa.umd.edu/index.html

3. Theory • Influenced by: • Existentialism • The process of becoming (and understanding that someday we won’t be) • Personal responsibility for choices • Particularly influenced by Kierkegaard and Heidegger • Emphasized balance between freedom and responsibility • Concerned with both the person and the person’s experience

4. Theory • Basic ideas of existentialism • Existence takes precedent over essence • Existence • To emerge or become • Is a process and is associated with growth and change • Essence • Is static and suggests a product • Signifies stagnation and finality, the product instead of the process • People search for truth and meaning in their lives • People are both thinking and active beings and must search for truth and meaning by living active and authentic lives

5. Theory Basic ideas of existentialism Each of us is responsible for who we are and what we become People have an equal degree of freedom (possibility of changing) and responsibility Authentic experience takes precedent over artificial explanations Theories dehumanize people Authenticity Retaining our own individuality against pressure to do otherwise

6. Theory • Dasein (being-in-the-world) • The basic unity of a person and their environment (world) • Includes their body • Many people suffer from anxiety and despair brought on by their alienation from themselves and/or from their world • Technology and progress help promote this • Experienced by all

7. Theory • Alienation is the “illness of our time” and occurs on three levels: • Umwelt: • One’s relationship with the natural world or environment around us • Includes things that would exist without our awareness (natural law of our world) • Biological drives, needs, and instincts (hunger) • Natural phenomena (birth and death) • Must learn to live in and adjust to changes to the world • Throwness

8. Theory • Mitwelt: • Our relationship with other people and the meanings given to those relationships • Need to treat people as people not things

9. Theory • Eigenwelt • One’s relationship with one self and how we interpret things based on self • To be aware of oneself as a human being and to grasp who we are as we relate to the world of things and to the world of people • Not restricted to our inner, subjective world but includes one’s subjected reactions to the world at large (the chair I am sitting in and what it means to me) • Mindfullness

10. The Role of Nonbeing or Nothingness • Being in the world necessitates an awareness of self as a living, emerging being. • This awareness, in turn, leads to the dread of not being (nonbeing or nothingness) • The awareness of death enhances one’s sense of living. • “Forfeiting one’s identity is a descent into non-being – the death of the meanings important to the self. To grasp what it means to exist, one needs to grasp the fact that one might not exist” • Life becomes real, vivid, and flavorful only when one confronts the possibility of nothingness. • To not confront leads to unhealthy behaviors i.e. addictions, promiscuity, conformity to societal standards, etc.

11. Anxiety • “Anxiety is the state of the person in the struggle against what would destroy his or her sense of meaningful being” • Much of human behavior is motivated by an underlying sense of dread and anxiety • People experience anxiety when: • they are aware of the possibility of their nonbeing • they are aware that they are free to make choices

12. Anxiety • Two types of anxiety: • Normal anxiety • Due to choices and the growth and changes that occur around them • Part of the normal growth process • Neurotic anxiety • Attempts to escape normal anxiety

13. Guilt • Guilt arises when people: • deny their potentialities • fail to accurately perceive the needs of fellow humans • remain oblivious to their dependence on the natural world

14. Types of Guilt • Normal guilt • I see myself as one who can choose or fail to choose • Neurotic guilt • Results from neurotic anxiety, not taking risks • To deliberately fail to fulfill our possibilities to preserve security

15. Levels of Neurotic Guilt • Separation guilt • Related to Umwelt • Sense of alienation and separation from the natural world • Usually unaware of this as it occurs subtly • Especially present in “advanced” societies

16. Levels of Neurotic Guilt • Alienation from others • Associated with Mitwelt • Failure to understand fully our fellow man and meet others needs • “We do violence to their true identity” • We only see people through our eyes not theirs and can never perfectly judge their needs

17. Levels of Neurotic Guilt • Alienation from self • Denial of our potentialities or our failure to fulfill them

18. Love • Taking delight in the presence of the other person and affirming that person’s value as much as one’s own

19. Types of Love Sex / Lust Physiological need and biological function that can be satisfied through sexual intercourse or some other release of sexual tension Has become a mechanized, depersonalized sexual activity that is devoid of caring, love, passion, relatedness and joy For many, centered around: Trying to prove one’s identity and/or competence The need to overcome isolation, loneliness, and feelings of emptiness

20. Types of Love Eros The psychological desire to establish a lasting union and delight with our partner (sex is often confused as this) Based on care and tenderness Regarded by some as the salvation of sex Has a dark side (Daimonic) We open ourselves up to the possibility of grief, sorrow, disappointment, and loss We also face the possibility of losing ourselves (the possibility of death and nonbeing)

21. Types of Love Philia Intimate, nonsexual friendship between people The foundation of Eros, supports Eros with the time to grow stronger and deeper Cannot be rushed Takes time to grow, develop, and sink its roots “Philia does not require that we do anything for the beloved except accept him, be with him, and enjoy him. It is friendship in the simplest, most direct terms.”

22. Types of Love • Agape’ • Love devoted to the welfare of others (altruistic love) • A form of intentionality in which the caring person “throws their weight on the side of another” • Associated with compassion, empathy, and caring which is the foundation of all the other forms of love • “…esteem for the other, the concern for the other’s welfare beyond any gain that one can get out of it; disinterested love, typically, the love of God for man”

23. Values • Determine how we act • Adequate values (healthy individualism) allow us to: • Deal effectively with the world • Commit to a course of action • Form meaningful and deep relationships • Become future oriented

24. Values • Lack of adequate values (unhealthy individualism) result in alienation from the world and loss of our sense of identity, worth and significance. • Become outer directed for significance • Leaves one with no real reason to commit to anything • Self-alienation occurs when we adopt values that are in opposition to or at variance with our being.