Listening to Learn

Listening to Learn Insert your Totem here Your Name Troop Guide NE-II-177

Provide ground rules: • Distribute handout • Encourage note taking • Feel free to ask questions at any time Listening to Learn The most important leadership skill is Communication. The most important communication skill is Listening. Have you ever been in a situation where people weren’t listening? Or you thought they were, but they misunderstood? Or perhaps you misunderstood? Or perhaps you understood what they said, but you didn’t fully appreciate the importance to them? Do you know how to listen effectively? Effective listening is key to many of the other leadership skills, so it is the first one taught in Wood Badge. NE-II-177 1A

Learning Objectives Upon completion of this presentation you will be able to: Become aware of how we listen. Explore good listening as a communication skill. Practice the skills of activeand empatheticlistening. Examine the relationship between listening skills and the receiving and giving of feedback. NE-II-177 2

Learning Objectives Upon completion of this presentation you will be able to: Become aware of how we listen. Explore good listening as a communication skill. Practice the skills of active and empathetic listening. Examine the relationship between listening skills and the receiving and giving of feedback. NE-II-177 2A

Role Play Let’s talk about a recent trip or vacation! NE-II-177 3

Role Play:Instructions: group into pairs, one speaker/one listener. Speaker talks to listener for 1-2 minutes about a recent trip or vacation. Listener is given behavior card to follow. Behaviors are: Interrupt the speaker, Give advice before speaker is done, Give blank look, Be bored. Discussion: Put answers on flip chart…… Ask the speakers: What did you just experience? How did the reactions of the listeners affect you? Ask the listeners: How did the speakers respond to your behavior? Ask:What is Listening? Ask:Why is listening such an important part of learning? Listening is an essential part of communication, yet we take it for granted. We don’t teach it in our schools. There are courses on writing and in public speaking, but seldom does a course focus on the skill of listening. This Wood Badge session is designed to change that. By making ourselves aware of the importance of listening and the ways in which we do it, all of us can more effectively use listening as a tool for learning and for leadership. NE-II-177 3A

Why is listening a key skill of leadership? NE-II-177 4

Why is listening a key skill of leadership? Solicit responses and put on flip chart. NE-II-177 4A

Listening is a primary means for connecting with other people. Listening provides the means to make decisions and solve problems. Why is Listening a Key Skill of Leadership? NE-II-177 5

Why is Listening a Key Skill of Leadership? Listening is a primary means for connecting with other people. Sharing ideas and experiences with one another creates a pool of familiarity among us. From that grows trust, understanding, an awareness of strengths and skills - the building blocks of friendships and teamwork. Listening can be powerful when young people are involved. For many of Scouting age, it is unusual to have adults truly pay attention to them. Listening to them with care and understanding can be very meaningful for young people and also for the adults. Listening provides the means to make decisions and solve problems Listening is the glue that holds a team together. It is the doorway through which ideas pass. It is the window in which solutions appear. NE-II-177 5A

“Seek first to understandthen to be understood” -Stephen R. Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People NE-II-177 6

“Seek first to understand then to be understood” -Stephen Covey Stephen R. Covey is chairman and founder of Covey Leadership Center. He is author of “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”, with over 12 million copies sold in 32 languages. Known internationally as an author, lecturer, teacher and leadership mentor. Trained thousands of leaders in business, industry, education and government in the principles of management and leadership development. There are two types of effective listening active and empathetic. What do you think active listening means? Board them. NE-II-177 6A

Two Parts of Effective Listening Active Listening Reflects back Rephrases No value judgments Strives to hear the message NE-II-177 7

Two Parts of Effective Listening Active Listening Reflects back what a person is saying to confirm comprehension “What I understand you to be saying is this…” By rephrasing the information and bouncing it back to the speaker, the listener confirms that the message has been correctly received. Listeners doing this are not making value judgments. They are simply making sure they are hearing what the speakers have to say and they are letting the speakers know that their messages are getting through. Q: Now we know what Active Listening is…What is Empathetic Listening? Put answers on flip chart NE-II-177 7A

Two Parts of Effective Listening Empathetic Listening • Sincere attempt to understand • Pays attention to body language, tone of voice, emotional sense • Imagines things from the speaker’s point of view NE-II-177 8

Two Parts of Effective Listening Empathetic Listening Sincere attempt on the part of a listener to understand in depth what a speaker is saying. Empathetic listeners pay attention to more than just the words they hear. They also take care to notice a speaker’s body language, tone of voice, and emotional sense and consider them part of the message package the speaker is sending. Empathetic listening requires listeners to: Put themselves in the speaker’s place Imagine things from the speaker’s point of view Try to understand how the speaker feels Effective listening is active and empathetic. NE-II-177 8A

Exercise in Effective Listening • Simply say “I got it”. • Respond by rephrasing the message. • Rephrase the message, and also share any deeper understanding of the speaker’s feelings. 9 NE-II-177

Exercise in Effective Listening • 1) Participants form pairs – one speaker, one listener • 2) For several minutes, the speakers will talk about something they enjoy (hobby, sport, or family activity) • 3) Listeners will try out different listening styles: • - Pay close attention and acknowledge a speaker’s message simply by saying, “I got it.” Offer no further feedback or judgment. • - Pay close attention and respond by rephrasing the message. • - Rephrase the message, and also share any deeper understanding of the speakers’ feelings. Listeners should take into consideration the speakers’ body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, and other spoken and silent signals that will help enhance understanding. • 4) Listeners and speakers trade roles and repeat the exercise. • Now ask - Which style was the most effective? NE-II-177 9A

Effective Listening Active and Empathetic NE-II-177 10

Effective Listening Active and Empathetic NE-II-177 10A

Monitoring Our Listening Level NE-II-177 11

Monitoring our Listening Level How do you respond when– • you are hearing something you don’t want to hear? • a speaker is angry? • you are tired or hungry? • A key to effective listening is being aware of our current situation, energy level and interest. • If we are upset, it may affect how we listen. • Being drowsy will impact our attention span. • What if you are chilly, hot, or late for another • appointment? NE-II-177 11A

Monitoring Our Listening Level NE-II-177 12

Monitoring our Listening Level Being aware of our own state of hearing awareness can help us adjust to better grasp the message of a speaker? It may be a matter of focusing more on what is being said. Often, though, it may require calling a time-out to put on sweater, get something to eat, take care of something distracting you, or let your emotions cool down. Then you can get back together under conditions more conductive to good listening. Can we control every listening situation? Often we are in situations that make communication difficult. However, good listening skills are powerful tools for calming adversarial situations and finding solutions to problems. NE-II-177 12A

Good Listening Skills • Are powerful tools for: • calming adversarial situations • finding solutions to problems. NE-II-177 13

Good Listening Skills • Are powerful tools for: • calming adversarial situations • finding solutions to problems. NE-II-177 13A

Role Play Listening in Adversarial Situations NE-II-177 14

Ask for volunteer – “You are to play the role of a scout who is very angry about the way others in his unit are treating him.” • 1) So, what seems to be the problem? (Encourage the scout to keep talking) • 2) I see. OR I hear you saying…..? (Offer no judgment or feedback) • 3) Is there anything else? • 4) Now I hear what you don’t want (give some examples), now tell me what you do want…(focus on positive aspects rather than negative ones) • Lead discussion – ask….. • What did you observe? • How did the scout react to the leader listening? • How did the leader show the scout that he was listening? • Speakers respond to how others listen to them. Acknowledge but don’t immediately judge their complaints (“I got it…”). If there is no enabling by the listener; complaints will seem smaller and ultimately more manageable. • By taking a negative and flipping it around to a positive, a listener can also structure a more productive framework for finding solutions. (“I hear what you don’t want; now tell me what you do want.”) • A conversation cast in a positive light naturally involves more empathy and support. Body language of listeners and speakers becomes more open, and chances for resolution are greatly enhanced. NE-II-177 14A

Listeners should always strive to create a positive present as opposed to a negative past. NE-II-177 15

Listeners should always strive to create a positive present as opposed to a negative past. NE-II-177 15A

Giving & Receiving Feedback NE-II-177 16

Giving & Receiving Feedback Receiving feedback can sometimes be difficult. However, by using effective listening skills, a feedback situation may be turned into a positive experience. ASK – Have you ever had someone give you advice about something? How did it feel to be receiving feedback? Have you ever been in a position to tell people how they can do something better or how they might make a positive change in their behavior? How did it feel to be offering feedback? From time to time, all of us find ourselves giving and receiving feedback. It is a basic part of team development, of leadership, and of friendships. For feedback to be helpful, both parties must use the skills of effective listening. Show slide on Tips on Giving/Receiving Feedback. Also in handout form…… NE-II-177 16A

Giving and Receiving Feedback Ask questions to build rapport. Use open-ended questions. Who? Why? How? Listen to their message. Be aware of your body language. Be aware of their body language. NE-II-177 17

Giving and Receiving Feedback Ask questions to build rapport. Use open-ended questions. Who? Why? How? Listen to their message. Be aware of your body language. Be aware of their body language. NE-II-177 17A

Tips on Giving Feedback Be helpful. Is recipient open to feedback? Deal only with changeable behaviors. Deal with specifics, not generalities. Describe the behavior; DO NOT evaluate it. Describe the impact to you. Accept your responsibility. Check understanding. NE-II-177 18

Tips on Giving Feedback Consider your motives. Feedback should always be helpful; otherwise there is no reason to offer it. Find out if the other people involved are open to receiving feedback. Listen carefully, then rephrase what they are saying to be sure you understand them. Deal only with behavior that can be changed. Deal with specifics, not generalities. Describe the behavior; do not evaluate it. Let the other person know the impact the behavior has on you. Use an “I” statement to accept responsibility for your own perceptions and emotions. To make sure the recipients of feedback have understood your message in the way you intended it, ask them to rephrase what they heard you say. NE-II-177 18A

Tips on Giving Feedback You can give caring feedback without a good technique, but the slickest technique in the world will not hide a lack of caring. NE-II-177 19

Tips on Giving Feedback You can give caring feedback without a good technique, but the slickest technique in the world will not hide a lack of caring. NE-II-177 19A

Tips on Receiving Feedback Seek out feedback. Listen carefully. Listen actively. Listen empathetically. Check your reaction. NE-II-177 20

Tips on Receiving Feedback Seek out feedback. It will nearly always provide you with information that will in some way help you improve your performance. Listen carefully. Receiving feedback requires a heightened awareness of yourself and the person offering the feedback. Listen actively. Restate the feedback in your own words so that the speaker knows that the message you are receiving is the same as the one the speaker intended to send. Ask clarifying questions. Listen empathetically. Put feedback in its proper context by observing the speaker’s body language, tone of voice, and emotions. Consider the speaker’s reasons for offering feedback. Check your own feelings. Notice how you are felling when someone offers you feedback. Becoming angry or defensive can cloud your ability to listen effectively. NE-II-177 20A

Consider feedback to be a gift. It truly is. Tips on Receiving Feedback NE-II-177 21

Consider feedback to be a gift. It truly is. Tips on Receiving Feedback NE-II-177 21A

Effective Listening is a skill that each of us can learn and can constantly improve upon. Listening plays a vital role in forming relationships, developing teams, and finding solutions. The best listening is both active and empathetic. Listening can be a tool in turning a negative situation into a positive one. Listening well is an important part of both receiving and giving feedback. Summary NE-II-177 22

Effective Listening is a skill that each of us can learn and can constantly improve upon. Listening plays a vital role in forming relationships, developing teams, and finding solutions. The best listening is both active and empathetic. Listening can be a tool in turning a negative situation into a positive one. Listening well is an important part of both receiving and giving feedback. Summary NE-II-177 22A

Learning Objectives With the completion of this presentation you should now be able to: • Become aware of how we listen. • Explore good listening as a communication skill. • Practice the skills of activeand empatheticlistening. • Examine the relationship between listening skills and the receiving and giving of feedback. NE-II-177 23

Learning Objectives With the completion of this presentation you should now be able to: • Become aware of how we listen. • Explore good listening as a communication skill. • Practice the skills of activeand empatheticlistening. • Examine the relationship between listening skills and the receiving and giving of feedback. NE-II-177 23A

Thank You ! Place Totem here NE-II-177 24

Change Controldelete this slide for actual course presentation NE-II-177

Listening to Learn