Building Healthy Relationships

1. Building Healthy Relationships Chapter 6

2. Skills for Healthy Relationships Chapter 6 Section1

3. Section Objectives • Describe 4 techniques for communicating effectively • Describe how compromise can be an effective way to resolve conflicts • Identify successful strategies for working in a group

4. Barriers to communication video • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w2vkWwvf7NY

5. Effective Communication • Communication is the process of sharing information, thoughts or feelings • Learning to communicate effectively is an ACQUIRED skill, it takes practice • With practice, you can master the skills of effective communication- using “I” messages, active listening, assertiveness and body language

6. “I” messages • A statement of feelings and expectations that do not blame or judge the other person • Helps a person to take responsibility for their feelings

7. “I” Messages • I feel… • When… • Because…

8. Let’s Try a few • "I can't believe you. Where is the jacket I let you borrow?"

9. Let’s Try a few • "Get out of my way; can't you see that I am trying to get some work done?"

10. Let’s Try a few • "You are so dumb, you can't do anything right!"

11. Active Listening • Focusing your full attention on what the other person is saying, and at the same time, letting that person know you understand and care

12. Active Listening • Show interest by nodding your head and showing concern on your face • Encourage the speaker to begin by saying “Do you want to talk about it?” or “You seem upset about…” • While the speaker is talking, offer comments such as “I know what you mean” or “Then what happened?” • Avoid passing judgment on what the speaker says

13. Active Listening • Show you have been listening by summarizing the speaker’s ideas with phrases such as “It sounds like you were angry when…” or “I heard you say…” • Help the speaker explore things further with phrases such as “Tell me more about…” or “I guess you felt…” • Don’t you steer the conversation away from the speaker’s problem and onto your own https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1jzdSzGHnA

14. Assertiveness • Passive vs Assertive vs Aggressive • .What’s the difference between the 3?

16. Body Language • A way of communicating information, or feelings non verbally, through body movements, posture, gestures and facial expressions • communication is only 7 percent verbal and 93 percentnon-verbal (tone of voice 38% and body language 55%)

17. Body Language • Eye contact is meeting someone’s gaze • Failure to make eye contact can be interpreted by some people as: shyness, embarrassment, indifference or sneakiness • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vicuZS0ChYQ

18. Body Language • Varies greatly from culture to culture • Latin American and Arab cultures generally stand closer together when they talk than people from the US • Japanese and Native American cultures consider it disrespectful to look a person in the eye in some situations

19. Cooperation • Working together for a common goal • Important in all relationships, especially those with family members and close friends

20. Compromise • The willingness of each person to give up something in order to reach agreement • Skill of give-and-take, both parties must be willing to sacrifice something to get something in return

21. Compromise • You and a friend are having a disagreement. You would like to go to a party tonight but your friend would rather go bowling. How would you handle this problem? • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xg3dAmhFJdE

22. Friendships Chapter 6 Section 2

23. Section Objectives Students will be able to: • Identify qualities that are important in close friends

24. Friendship A give-and-take relationship based on mutual trust, acceptance, and common interests or values People look to friends for honest reactions, for encouragement during bad times, and for understanding when they make mistakes Friends offer a sense of belonging, they understand and care about you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0xgjUhEG3U

25. Importance of Friendships Friendship gives you opportunities to develop your communication skills They also allow you to try out various roles such as: leader, helper, advice-seeker, or supporter

26. Types of Friendships • Casual Friendships • Close Friendships • Friendships with the Opposite Gender

27. Casual Friendships • Friendships of “convenience” • Typically short-term, offer the chance to have fun, try new things, and to learn to get along with a variety of people • May remain casual or they may develop into deeper, long-lasting friendships over time

28. Close Friendships • Researchers found that people generally form close relationships with individuals who share similar goals, values or interests • Other studies suggest that people get along better with individuals whose personalities complement their own

29. Close Friendships 4 Qualities that are important in a close friend: • Loyalty • Honesty • Empathy (the ability to understand how another person feels) • Reliability

30. Close Friendships • Provide emotional security • A sense of belonging • The opportunity for people to see themselves as others see them For teens, close friendships offer a way to grow outside of their family https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73ZzBcjVcrk

31. Friendships with Opposite Gender Gender roles- behaviors and attitudes that are socially accepted as either masculine or feminine In the US today, gender roles are much less rigid than in the past In choosing friends today, people look for people with similar interests and goals no matter the gender Some may develop into romantic relationships while others simply remain friendships https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsFJFfegkj4

32. Problems in Friendships Envy & Jealousy Envy is being upset because you are lacking something (material) Jealousy is being upset because you feel left out (person) When these feelings arise, use “I” messages to get your feelings into the open. Be sure to LISTEN to each other and try to COMPROMISE to work things out

33. Problems in Friendships Transferring Anger • When someone transfers their pain/anxiety/anger onto their close friends If this happens, try to find out what the real problem is, use “I” messages to state your feelings and LISTEN

34. Problems in Friendships CLIQUES and GANGS A clique is a narrow, exclusive group of people with similar backgrounds or interests Members of a clique may experience peer pressure (the need to conform to the expectations of friends or a group). Peer pressure can be positive or negative

35. Problems in Friendships CLIQUES and GANGS A gang is made up of people with similar backgrounds, interests, and values who are unaccepting of anyone who is different The dislike of others can stem from prejudices (negative feelings about certain groups of people that are based on stereotypes) A stereotypes is an exaggerated or overgeneralized beliefs about an entire group

36. Chapter 6 Section 3 Dating Relationships

37. Section Objectives Students will be able to: • Explain why emotional intimacy is important in close relationships

38. Dating Relationships • The values you learn from your family, religious teachings, personal experiences, and friends influence your thinking about questions involving physical intimacy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_E4_H0Y_wM

39. Physical Attraction & Dating • Infatuation is the feelings of intense, sometimes overwhelming, attraction to another person • Infatuation = Crush = Normal, healthy feelings • Infatuation = Stalking

40. Physical Attraction & Dating • Dating is typically the way that teenagers get to know people to whom they are attracted • It is natural and healthy to feel physical attraction and to want to get to know someone better • Can help you develop communication and decision-making skills and to learn how the other person views the roles that they learned as a child

41. Physical Attraction & Dating • You may even discover what qualities you want in a future marriage partner (or don’t want!) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVtlx1JCSg8

42. Steady Dating • Steady dating with one person can be a form of security • Eventually, it can be a time of courtship that may lead to engagement and marriage • Having a “steady date” gives you the chance to get to know the person very well BUT it also limits your chances of meeting other people https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwuVwOhFu58

43. Physical Intimacy Natural for teenagers to feel sexually attracted to someone, it is also natural to be a little confused and unsure of how to handle those feelings Teenagers should think ahead and set limits ahead of time By setting limits before a situation arises, it is easier to stick to the standards that you set

44. Physical Intimacy Effect on Self-Esteem • Decisions about physical intimacy should be based on the values you hold • When a decision to become sexually involved goes against a person’s values, the person may feel guilty and ashamed • Lowered self-esteem often results when someone makes a snap decision about sexual intimacy or when sex is used to prove something to oneself or others

45. Physical Intimacy Effect on your relationship • Sexual intimacy can affect each partner’s expectations of the relationship • Often couples are unprepared for the additional complications that sexual intimacy adds to their relationship (which tend to be permanent)

46. Physical Intimacy Risk of Pregnancy and STIs • 1 in 6 teenage girls who engage in intercourse will become pregnant • The only 100% way to prevent pregnancy and STIs is to abstain from sex

47. Emotional Intimacy • The openness, sharing, affection, and trust that can develop in a close relationship • For emotional intimacy to develop, partners must communicate honestly and be accepting and supportive of each other

48. Thinking About Marriage Chapter 6 Section 4

49. Section Objectives Students will be able to: • List some characteristics of successful marriages

50. Why do people get married? • The desire for another person’s love and companionship • Financial security • Social growth • To start a family • Because it’s expected