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Explore the importance of communication skills, the evolution of communication methods, sensory modalities, and the impact of mental maps on perception. Discover how mastering communication can enhance relationships and career success.
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Why Study Communication? • The Only Completely Portable Skill • You will use it in every relationship • You will need it regardless of your career path • The “Information Age” • The history of civilization is the history of information • Language and written documents facilitate the transfer of information and knowledge through time and space
Why Study Communication? • Your Quality of Life Depends Primarily on Your Communication Skills • You Cannot Be Too Good at Communication • People Overestimate Their Own Communication Skills
What Is Communication? • Transfer of Meaning—No • Influence of Mental Maps—Yes • Redundant • Visual • Auditory • Kinesthestic • Energetic
What Is Communication? • Conscious and Intentional • Nonverbal • Verbal • Unconscious and Unintentional • Nonverbal • Verbal
Unconscious Processing • Conscious Processing = 7±2/Second • Unconscious Processing = 200,000,000/Sec. • Short-term Memory • Long-term Memory • Habits • Physical • Mental
Habits • Learned Behavior • Established Over Time • Practice • Self-talk • Change
Learning • Unconscious Incompetence • Conscious Incompetence • Conscious Competence • Unconscious Competence • Mastery
External Reality • The Map is Not the Territory • We delete information • We distort information • We generalize • We assign meaning • Models of the World
Sensory Data • The Building Blocks of Subjective Experience • What we see • What we hear • What we touch, taste, and smell • The Four-tuple • Meanings and Memories
Filtering Experience • Primary Mediation • Secondary Mediation • Genetic predisposition • Conditioning • Personal profiles of behavioral type • Beliefs, values, core questions, and core metaphors • Physical and mental state
The Communication Process Message Decision- Making Decision- Making Filters Beliefs Values Questions & Metaphors Beh. Type State Filters Beliefs Values Questions & Metaphors Beh. Type State Sensory Data Meaning Meaning Sensory Data Encoding Encoding Sender Receiver Channel The Bowman Communication Model, 1992-2003
Metaphor: The Language of Perception • Metaphors and Similes • My love is a flower. • My love is like a flower. • Core Metaphors • Argument is war • Business is war • Business is a sport or a game • Business is a building
Core Metaphors • Metaphors, Similes, and Analogies • Perceptual Filters • Common Operational Metaphors • Time is… • Learning is… • Men/Women are… • Success is... • Life is…
Experience, Language, and Meaning Language Meaning Mental Maps Sensory Data Experience
Symbol Systems • Language • Words and sentences • Meaning and labels • Mathematics • Money 1+1=2
History of Communication • Nonverbal: 150,000 years • Oral: 55,000 years • Written: 6,000 years • Early writing: 4000 BC • Egyptian hieroglyphics: 3000 BC • Phoenician alphabet: 1500 to 2000 BC • Book printing in China: 600 BC • Book printing in Europe: 1400 AD
Communicating Meaning • Physiology and Appearance: 55 percent • Paralanguage: 38 percent • Language: 7 percent
Sensory Data and Mental Maps • Bridge Between Internal and External • Internal and External Processing • Internal Processing • Posture and breathing • Language and paralanguage • Eye accessing cues
Sensory Modalities • Visual • Auditory • Kinesthetic • Touch • Taste • Smell • Emotional responses (feelings)
Preferred Sensory Modalities • People Use All Their Available Senses • Some Prefer Visual • Some Prefer Auditory • Some Prefer the Kinesthetic Cluster • Senses of touch, taste, and smell • Associated emotional responses • Some Prefer “Digital” Processing
Visuals • Vocabulary • I see what you mean. • It looks good to me. • Let’s stay focused on the problem. • She has a bright future. • He’s always in a fog. • Physiology and Appearance • Paralanguage
Auditories • Vocabulary • I hear what you are saying. • It sounds good to me. • Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? • That’s music to my ears. • He’s always blowing his own horn. • Physiology and Appearance • Paralanguage
Kinesthetics (Kinos) • Vocabulary • I can grasp the concept, and it feels right to me. • It smells fishy to me. • It left me with a bad taste in my mouth. • She’s still rough around the edges. • He’s a smooth operator. • Physiology and Appearance • Paralanguage
Eye Accessing Cues Vr Vc Ar Ac Ai K
Exercise: Observing Eye Movements • Ask questions that require internal processing. • Visual • Auditory • Kinesthetic • Taste or smell • Touch • Emotions
Exercise: Flexibility • Determine your preferred system. • What are you doing when you “think”? • Speak for two minutes using predicates from one sensory modality, then do the the same for each of the other two. • Work in groups and take turns speaking using sense-based predicates in a systematic way.
Rapport • Finding Commonalities • Values • Vocabulary and paralanguage • Physiology and appearance • Matching and Mirroring • Cross-over Matching People who are like each other, like each other.
Developing Rapport • Nonverbal (what you see and do) • Physiology • Appearance • Congruence • Verbal (what you hear and say) • Sense-based predicates • Values, beliefs, and criteria • Voice tone and rate of speech
Reading Nonverbal Messages • Sensory Acuity • Agree and Disagree • Posture and Movement • Associated or dissociated • Bodily response
Exercises: Rapport • Matching and Mirroring • Observing others • Practicing • Calibration • Like/dislike • Yes/no
Congruence • Physiology • Left/right body • Left/right brain • Nonverbal and Verbal Messages • “Parts” • Groups
Strategies • The Structure of Subjective Experience • Four-tuples • Syntax • Learned Behavior • TOTE (Test, Operate, Test, Exit) • Habits • Skills
Common Strategies • Spelling • Auditory (spell “phonics” phonetically) • Visual • Making Decisions • Communicating • Listening and speaking • Writing Accommodate
Decision-making Strategies • Purchasing • An inexpensive product • Dinner in a nice restaurant • An expensive product or service • Relationships • Career Choices
Communication Strategy, 1 & 2 • Pace • Match (nonverbally and verbally) • Meet expectations • Lead • Set direction • Maintain interest • Maintain rapport
Communication Strategy, 3 & 4 • Blend Outcomes • Understand objectives and desires • Create win-win solutions • Motivate • Clarify who does what next • Future-pace possibilities • Presuppose positive results
Exercise: Eliciting Strategies • Ordering a Meal in a Restaurant • Learning Something New • Teaching Something for the First Time
Personal Profiles • Achiever • Communicator • Specialist • Perfectionist A C P S
Profile Characteristics • Achiever • Likes to set goals, challenge the environment and win. • Sees life as a competition. • Communicator • Likes to achieve results by working with and through people. • Finds more enjoyment in the process than in the results. • Specialist • Likes to plan work and relationships. • Finds enjoyment in knowing what to expect. • Perfectionist • Enjoys jobs requiring attention to detail. • Complies with authority and tries to provide the “right” answer.
Metaprograms • Action — Initiate or Respond • Direction — Toward or Away From • Source — Internal or External • Conduct — Rule Follower or Breaker
More Metaprograms • Response — Match or Mismatch • Scope — Global or Specific • Cognitive Style — Thinking or Feeling • Confirmation — VAK and Times
Exercise: Eliciting Metaprograms • Metaprograms are revealed by • Nonverbal messages • Language • Question s • What do you mean? • How do you know? • What’s important to you about that?
Changing Behavior • Patterns and Pattern Interrupts • Anchors and Anchoring • Stimulus-response conditioning • Visual, auditory, and kinesthetic anchors • Advanced Language Patterns • The Metamodel • The Milton Model
Exercise: Anchoring • Setting Anchors • Kinesthetic • Visual • Auditory • Stacking Anchors • Collapsing Anchors • Using Sliding Anchors
The Structure of Subjective Experience • Sorting for Time • Past, present, and future • Timelines • Sorting for Like and Dislike • Creating and Changing Meaning
Modalities and Submodalities • Visual Submodalities • Location, size, distance, brightness, point of view • Color or black & white, moving or still • Auditory Submodalities • Location, tone, rate, pitch, inflection, rhythm • Language, voice (your voice, the voice of a parent) • Kinesthetic Submodalities • Location, strength, duration, movement • Quality (warm, cold, “tingly,” etc.)
Exercise: Changing Submodalities • Select something, someone, or an activity you want to like better. • Elicit submodalities for • Things you like. • Things you dislike. • Change the submodalities with which you represent the thing, person, or activity.