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ASSERTIVENESS !!. SIMPLE TECHNIQUE TO MAKE PEOPLE WORK FOR US AND GET THINGS DONE THROUGH THEM !!. TO GET THINGS DONE. WITHOUT HURTING OTHERS’ FEELINGS AND/OR FETCHING HARM TO THEM. TO OUR BENEFIT. WE MUST BE ASSERTIVE. AS PER Prof. ROOSHI KUMAR PANDYA. ASSERTIVENESS SKILL IS….
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ASSERTIVENESS !! SIMPLE TECHNIQUE TO MAKE PEOPLE WORK FOR US AND GET THINGS DONE THROUGH THEM !!
TO GET THINGS DONE WITHOUT HURTING OTHERS’ FEELINGS AND/OR FETCHING HARM TO THEM TO OUR BENEFIT WE MUST BE ASSERTIVE
AS PER Prof. ROOSHI KUMAR PANDYA ASSERTIVENESS SKILL IS…. YOUR ABILITY TO ACT IN HARMONY WITH YOUR SELF ESTEEM, WITHOUT HURTING OTHERS
ALL WINNERS AND ACHIEVERS IN LIFE DO POSSESS ASSERTIVENESS SKILLS
You have difficulties in getting information/data from unknown person(s) - Yes/No? You regret you are to adjust with every one at Home, Society and at My Work Place - Yes/No? Your boss gives you more work than others who are working with you - Yes/No? Whenever you go to Hotels with Friends, you have to take items ordered by others although you don’t like it You hesitate to ask repeatedly when the Conductor of a bus fails to give you the balance due to you
You remain submissive when someone talks aloud although the justice is with you - Yes/No? Many a time you regret for what you purchased out of compulsion from the sales person. Yes/No? You are unable to say “No” when approached by a sales person at your door steps with an intention not to hurt. Yes/No? You have difficulty in passing on your comments on your friends in front of them. Yes/No? You hesitate to appreciate any one in their presence. Yes/No?
You frequently regret that people use you for their selfishness – Yes / No? When you stand in a queue, you hesitate to stop the intruders to avoid unnecessary squabbles. Yes/No? You have a regret that you are unable to mingle with people. Yes/No? You hesitate to seek any help from your friends and relatives fearing “no” from them - Yes/No? You feel embarrassed on your behavior / reaction after an incident and show remorse - Yes/No?
You have hesitation in saying “NO” to an unethical and illogical help from your dearest friend/relative – Yes / No People say “you are boring” whenever you talk to them and they don’t listen to you many a time. Yes / No Do you suppress your feelings and do not pass negative comments at any one fearing that they would get hurt? You find it difficult to make eye to eye rapport when talking to some one especially to the opposite gender. Yes / No To protect your good image, you sacrifice even what you like in life. Yes / No
Do you have difficulties in public speaking? Do you have a fear of failure? Do you feel embarrassed on close supervision by others when you work? Do you have discomfort when you experience sudden uneasy calm in an auditorium / meeting? Do you have a constant fear in mind that you would commit mistake?
Do you defend yourself strongly and immediately when you are commented at by anyone ? Do you apprehend your success whenever you commence any new assignment? You don’t derive complete satisfaction out of your profession / job – yes or no? You will generally interrupt and complete the sentence started by others – Yes or No? You feel that You are Always in Urgency and running short of time – Yes or No?
You lose patience quite often - Yes/No? You have difficulty in asking back things borrowed from you by your friends/relatives - Yes/No? Do you convey your opinions/suggestion through someone in the meeting - Yes/No? Do you think you are not competent enough to get things done through people? Do you control yourself and remain silent when something happens that you don’t like?
THREE TYPES OF TECHNIQUES SUBMISSIVE - FLIGHT AGGRESSIVE - FIGHT ASSERTIVENESS – WIN WIN
AGRESSIVE BOSSING & BULLDOZING SHOUTING & COMMANDING TAKING MORE SPACE BODY LANGUAGE IS ABOVE CHEST LEVEL
Examples of Aggressive Communication • “I don’t know why you can’t see that this is the right way to do it.” • “It’s going to be my way or not at all.” • “You’re just stupid if you think that will work.” • “That kind of logic will sink the company.” • “Who cares what you feel. We’re talking about making things work here.”
NON AGGRESSIVE OR PASSIVE • ALMOST MUTE AND SILENT • TALK SLOWLY AND AT LOW PITCH • OBEDIENCE & SUBMISSIVE • NO EYE TO EYE RAPPORT • BODY LANGUAGE AT LOWER PART OF BODY
Examples of Passive Communication • “I don’t know.” • “Whatever you think.” • “You have more experience than I. You decide.” • “I’ll go with whatever the group decides.” • “I don’t care. It doesn’t matter to me.” • “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. . . NO!”
ASSERTIVE • SUITABLE VOICE MODULATION • HIGHLY EXPRESSIVE • HIGHLY MINGLING & SOCIAL • HAVING FAST & CLEVER THINKING • SHOWING COMPLETE BODY LANGUAGE • HIGHLY ADJUSTABLE TO GET THINGS DONE
Examples of Assertive Communication • “So what you’re saying is. . . .” • “I can see that this is important to you, and it is also important to me. Perhaps we can talk more respectfully and try to solve the problem.” • “I think. . . I feel. . . I believe that. . . .” • “I would appreciate it if you. . .”
BEING AGRESSIVE, YOU TAKE THE POWER BEING NON AGRESSIVE, YOU GIVE THE POWER BEING ASSERTIVE, YOU SHARE THE POWER
ASSERTIVE PEOPLE CHOSE TO REMAIN PASSIVE AND ALSO AGGRESSIVE WITH TOTAL AWARENESS ACCORDING TO THE DEMANDS OF THE SITUATION
FOUR TYPES OF PEOPLE I AM OKAY BUT YOU ARE NOT OKAY I AM NOT OKAY BUT YOU ARE OKAY I AM NOT OKAY AND YOU ARE NOT OKAY I AM OKAY AND YOU ARE ALSO OKAY
3 STEPS IN BEING ASSERTIVE UNDERSTAND OTHERS PROPERLY WHAT YOU FEEL ON THE ISSUE/MATTER WHAT YOU SUGGEST ON THE ISSUE/MATTER
KEEP YOUR SIX FRIENDS ALWAYS WITH YOU IN EVERY INTERACTION WHEN WHOM WHERE WHAT WHY HOW
TWO CIRCLES CIRCLE OF CONCERN CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE
UNDERSTAND MAGIC WORDS FOR SUCCESS CHANGE ADJUST MODIFY FINETUNE
ALL THE BEST TO YOU PRESENTED TO YOU by Life Improvement Mind Engineering (LIME) R.Ganesh M: +91 94422 00231 lime.ganesh@gmail.com http://www.rganesh.in/