TEENAGE DATING VIOLENCE

1. TEENAGE DATING VIOLENCE Identifying and Coping with Teenage Dating Violence

2. While awareness of the problem of domestic violence has grown and court systems across the country develop new strategies for assisting the adult victims and batterers domestic violence between teenagers often falls out of these efforts

3. How serious is teenage domestic violence? • 1 in 3 high school students have been in or will be in an abusive relationship before they reach the age of 24 • 25% of teenage girls admit to being in a violent relationship

4. How serious is teenage domestic violence?Cont. • 68% of teenage women who were raped knew their rapist • 30% of all murdered teenage girls are killed by their current or former boyfriend

5. Why is dealing with the issue of teenage domestic violence important? • Early intervention • DV stunts development of self-esteem, personal value and mature relationships • Stress caused by abusive relationship directly effects school focus and grades • Breaking the cycle of domestic violence

6. How is Teen Dating Violence Different From Adult Domestic Violence? • Court must look closely at the abuse to differentiate between immature behavior and abuse

7. Is identifying teenage DV the same as in adult DV cases? • Physical abuse and stalking • Threats to family • Criticism and name calling • Keeps partner from friends • Forces partner to do such things as sex, drugs and alcohol • Threatens suicide

8. Is identifying teenage DV the same as in adult DV cases? • Constant calling and checking in • Tells partner how to dress • Gets angry when cannot reach partner • Insists on spending time together • Keeps partner from family

9. Is this dating violence? • Peggy is 16 years old, 5’2” and weighs 95 pounds. She files for an ex parte restraining order stating that her boyfriend Fred, a 17 year old football player, has hit and shoved her on at least 5 occasions, and that he is always putting her down calling her a “bitch” and “whore.” She shows you a bruise on her arm where she says he hit her two days ago. You grant the temporary order. However, at the hearing Peggy changes her story. She says it was an accident and she doesn’t want the restraining order. Peggy’s mother appears and tells you she is afraid for her daughter because she has gone from an “A” student to a “C” student, and while she has seen bruises on her daughter she doesn’t know where they came from. Fred denies hitting or pushing Peggy, except when he has had to push her away from him because she was attacking him. He admits to name calling but says she also calls him names.

10. Is this dating violence? • Christina is a 13 year old junior high student. She comes to court requesting a restraining order against Joe who attends the nearby high school. She tells you she had a crush on Joe and when he invited her to the movies she went with him one time. On the date he tried to give her alcohol and have sex, but she refused. He then called her a bitch and told her she “would be sorry.” Christina tells you that since the date Joe has continued to follow her around. She sees him waiting outside her school, in front of her apartment and he seems to show up anytime she leaves the house. She tells you she is afraid of him and that she lives alone with her mother who works until 11:00 p.m. She further tells you that she has not told her mother because she would get in trouble for having gone out with Joe without permission. Joe was served with the TRO but he does not appear at the hearing.

11. Is this dating violence? • Ali and Marco are both 17 and were in love for 2 years; they had discussed marriage. One week after Ali graduates she decides to break up with Marco before she leaves for college. Marco still has his senior year of high school left. She tells him she does not want to see him anymore. For the week following the breakup he calls or text messages her up to 15 times a day, he comes to her home to try to speak with her everyday and has even jumped the backyard fence try to see her. Even after she leaves for college he is still calling about twice a day. Her first week of classes he drives up to her school, which is over a 100 miles away, to try to see her. Although she refuses to speak to him he sneaks in her dorm and waits for her to come home. When she tells him to leave, he does. • Ali comes to court three months after the breakup and says Marco is still calling or sending text messages about twice a week. He has also called her friends to ask about her and keeps writing on her facebook. Ali wants this to stop and is seeking a restraining order. Marco tells you he is sorry, he won’t do it again and that he is entering the sheriff’s academy upon graduation.

12. Alice’s mom comes to court for a restraining order against Matt. She explains that her 15 year old daughter has been dating Matt who is 16. Since they started dating 6 months ago Alice has stopped hanging out with her friends, her grades have dropped a little, she cries a lot and only wears the clothing that Matt likes, never goes out without her cell phone and refuses to eat dinner with her family. Alice is present in the courtroom and tells you she doesn’t want the restraining order and is in love with Matt. She further tells you it is her mother who is driving her crazy and that is why she so moody, she likes the clothes Matt buys for her, and she hates the “family dinner.” Matt tells you this is a crock. He always takes care of Alice because her parents won’t and her friends are mean to her so he tries to keep her away from them so she won’t get hurt. Is this dating violence?

13. What is Needed • Courts in collaboration with the community need to provide educational workshops and outreach events to educate teens • Access to restraining orders • Free batterer’s treatment programs specifically designed for teenagers

14. What is Needed • Dedicated teen victim advocates and peer victim services • Shelter services must be expanded to accommodate younger victims • Local teen hotlines to assist victim and abusers • Teen mentor programs especially for those teenagers who do not have family support

15. Where to Start • The Texas Association Against Sexual Assault created a program, Students Taking Action for Respect (S.T.A.R.) student’s developed programs which teach teenagers about unhealthy relationships from an authentic source -- students themselves. • Santa Clara, CA Juvenile and Family Law Court have developed a collaborative response to teen DV.

16. Where to Start • In late 2003 Brooklyn, New York started its Youthful Offender Domestic Violence Court to address exclusively DV cases among teenagers. This is a criminal based court. However, it provides a dedicated judge and courtroom staff equipped to address the unique needs of teenagers, and linking victims and abusers to specialized services

17. Resources for Court & School ProgramsYouth Referral Sources www.chooserespect.org/scripts/teens/teengetinvolved.asp www.loveisrespect.org/ www.ncjrs.gov/teendatingviolence/publications.html National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center www.safeyouth.org Love Is Not Abuse www.loveisnotabuse.com Texas Teen Programs www.tsheriff.org/tdv-campaign.htm www.taasa.org/star/default .htm www.women-law.org/program