Dating Violence

1. Dating Violence By Ms. Sanford

2. What do you already know? • What is the most common source of injury among women? • Auto accidents • Physical by male social partners • Muggings and rape combined

3. Answer to #1 • B: Physical abuse by male social partners Most common source of injury among women…more than auto accidents, muggings, and rape combined.

4. #2 • Boys who witness their fathers’ violence are _____ times more likely to engage in spouse abuse later in adulthood than boys from non-violent homes. • 2 • 5 • 10

5. Answer to #2 • C: 10 times more likely

6. #3 True or False: In the USA, there are three times as many animal shelters are there are battered women’s shelters.

7. Answer to #3 • A: True

8. #4 When are female victims of domestic violence more likely to be slain by their male partners? • When separated from them • When co-residing

9. Answer to #4 • A: When separated from them

10. #5 • Alcohol is the most common date rape drug. True or False?

11. Answer to #5 • True Slipping drugs into drinks does happen but it’s rare compared to adding extra alcohol or giving someone more drinks than they realize.

12. What is it? • Dating violence is any intentional sexual, physical or psychological attack on one partner by the other in a dating relationship(Health Canada, 1995).

13. Who? • At least 1 in 5 Canadian teens experience dating violence • Studies in recent years indicate that between 20-30% of North American boys and girls will experience some form of physical or emotional abuse in a dating relationship before they reach adulthood. • Forced sexual activity is also a problem among adolescents. One study of over 1,600 Canadian teens found 19% of girls and 4% of boys had experienced sexual coercion in dating relationships • In 2004, it was reported that in the previous five years more than half a million men in Canada had a female partner who was violent toward them. The woman might have been a wife, an ex-wife or a common-law partner. • This means about seven per cent of men in intimate relationships with women have experienced abuse or violence from their partners.

14. Who? Cont… • The highest risk group for sexual assault are young women from 14 to 18 years old. • The average age for men who date rape is 18.5 years old. • Young single women are at the greatest risk to be victims of dating violence. • Adolescent wives (ages 15-19) are murdered 3 times more frequently than adult wives. • In adolescence, up to 60% of relationships are abusive. • Dating violence in adolescent relationships is more likely to be mutual than in adult relationships.  However, females tend to receive more serious injuries than males. • To be injured by a husband or boyfriend is the leading cause of injury for women in Canada.

15. Why use dating violence? • Way of showing anger • Self-defence • Gaining control of their partner (power) • Alcohol/drugs • Experienced violence at home • Jealousy • pornography

16. Warning Signs • sudden personality changes, • a withdrawal from activities, family and/or friends, • walking on eggshells, • secrecy about fights or bruises/injuries, • sudden self-destructive behavior, and • a tendency to make excuses for a boyfriend/girlfriend’s inappropriate behavior.

17. Healthy ways of coping • Leave for a while or for good. • Call the police. • Lay a charge. • Hold the abuser responsible for the abuse, not yourself. • Tell a friend. • Seek help. • Get yourself to a shelter or into counselling.

18. Unhealthy ways of coping • Drinking/drugging to escape the pain. • Withdrawing into yourself. • Covering up the abuse and pretending it never happened. • Making excuses for your partner's behaviour. • Blaming yourself for the abuse. • Taking your anger out on people who are important to you. • Attempting suicide combined with lowered self-esteem allows the violence to continue.

19. Consequences of dating violence • Short-term consequences: impacts on health with physical injuries, psychological harm and unhealthy coping strategies such as alcohol or drug abuse. • In the long-term, abusers keep abusing others, so addressing dating violence may prevent future spousal abuse and other forms of family violence.

20. How should it be? • you have fun together • you both feel like you can be yourself • you can have different opinions and interests • you listen to each other • you trust each other • you can both compromise, say sorry, and talk arguments out • you don't have to spend all of you spare time together - you can spend time on your own, or with your own friends and family.

21. Date Rape • Date/acquaintance rape is sexual intercourse that is forced, manipulated, or coerced by someone the victim knows; a friend, co-worker, boyfriend, ex-boyfriend, neighbor. • Rape is not an act of sex, but a serious act of violence • Guys can be raped, mostly by other men, but also by women

22. Sobering stats • About 75% of men and at least 55% of women involved in acquaintance rape have been drinking or taking drugs before the attack. • One out of every four women surveyed was a victim of rape or attempted rape. • 84% of those raped knew their attacker. • 57% of those rapes happened on dates. • Only 27% of the women whose sexual assault met the legal definition of rape thought of themselves as victims of rape. • 42% of the rape victims told no one about their assault. • Only 5% reported their rape to the police. • Four out of five female undergraduates surveyed at Canadian universities said that they had been victims of violence in a dating relationship. Of that number, 29% reported incidents of sexual assault. • A survey on date rape showed that 60% of Canadian college-aged males indicated that they would commit sexual assault if they were certain they would not get caught. • The majority of date and acquaintance rape victims are young women aged 16 to 24. • Statistics show one in four Canadian women will be sexually assaulted during her lifetime. • Most women who are sexually assaulted know their attackers. In fact approximately 80% are assaulted by men known to them in some capacity. • 89% of girls reported some type of unwanted sexual contact by males in their schools

23. Why does date rape happen? • Stereotypes: many boys believe they should be aggressive and that girls should be passive • Poor communication: when 2 people in a relationship don’t know each other’s sexual intentions or limits • Mixed messages: boys sometimes believe a girl means "yes" when she says "no", or the girl is playing hard to get • Learned violence: some boys feel that violence is an acceptable way to solve problems

24. Sober advice • Don’t put pressure on your date to have sex or assume you know what your date wants. • Express your limits; say no when you mean no – be alert to unconscious messages you may be giving (clothing, gestures, etc.) • Speak up if you feel you’re getting a double message from your date. If you are still confused, don’t have sex. • Get out of any situation as soon as you sense possible danger. Trust your gut instincts. • Keep in mind that alcohol and drugs impair judgement. • Remember, someone under the influence of alcohol or drugs cannot “consent” to having sex. • Know what kinds of behaviour constitute sexual assault. • Realize drugs and alcohol are not a legal defence for rape. • Avoid secluded places with people you have just met • Meet in public places or go with friends • Don’t consume alcohol or drugs • Don’t ride in their car. Have someone take you or double date • Don’t take drinks from others and watch your own glass • Don’t worry about being polite or hurting their feelings

25. What can you do if you’re being attacked? • Stay calm • Say no and tell them that it’s rape • Don’t be polite • Look for an escape • Distract them • Deter them; say that you are on your period or that you have a disease • If the risk of injury is minimal (unarmed) fight back • Yell “fire!”; more people will notice • Vomit or make an excuse (bf will be home soon)

26. What to do if date rape happens to you… • Believe in yourself. What happened to you was wrong and you are not to blame. No one deserves to be sexually assaulted. • Tell someone you trust. • Get the medical attention you need. • Decide whether you want to report the assault to the police. • Take the time to recover and talk to a counsellor for support. Your emotional and physical health is important.

27. Date rape drugs The most common "date rape" drugs are Rohypnol and GHB. • Rohypnol aka "roofie", can incapacitate victims and prevent them from resisting sexual assault, particularly when mixed with alcohol. • Rohypnol belongs to a class of drugs called benzodiazepines, which are mostly used to cause sleep, muscle relaxation, and sedation. The drug can also produce "anerograde amnesia," meaning the victim could lose memory of events that occurred while under the influence of the drug. • Rohyphnol is illegal in the United States and Canada, and its importation is banned. It's legal in Europe and Mexico and is prescribed for sleep problems and as an anesthetic. Rohypnol is a pill that dissolves in liquids and is tasteless, odorless and, until six years ago, colorless. In 1999, the manufacturer reformulated the pills to turn blue when added to liquids, but the old pills are still available.

28. Date rape drugs cont… • GHB (gamma hydroxybutyric acid), another common "date rape drug," can both mentally and physically paralyze an individual, effects that are intensified with the addition of alcohol. The drug is a powerful, rapidly acting central nervous system depressant and occurs naturally in the human body in minute amounts. • GHB was first synthesized in the 1920s, was under development as an anesthetic in the 1960s, and was sold in health food stores both as sleep aid and a body-building supplement until the Food and Drug Administration banned it in 1990. The drug can be in the form of a colorless, odorless liquid, a white powder or a pill.

29. What will these drugs do to my body? Rohypnol can cause: • lower blood pressure, • sleepiness, • Relaxation of the victim's muscles or complete loss in control. • The feeling of being overly drunk. • difficulties with motor movements, talking and sight. • dizziness, nausea, confusion and loss of consciousness. • confusion • stomach problems • a hard time remembering what happened while under the drug's influence.

30. What will these drugs do to my body? Cont… GHB can cause: • drowsy, nauseous and dizzy. • sweating, vomiting and unconsciousness. • Slowing of the heart rate and create a dream-like feeling for the drugged individual. • problems both seeing and breathing • tremors or seizures • a coma or death. • Loss of memory of what happened while drugged. If you see signs where someone is not behaving how they normally would under similar circumstances, you can look at that as a possible sign that they've been drugged

31. How can I protect myself? • Watch your drink and take it everywhere • Don’t accept drinks from others • Open drink containers yourself if possible • Don’t drink anything that tastes or smells strange • Keep a DD close by

32. What if it happens to me? • Have a medical test done immediately even if you don’t want to report it • contact your local sexual assault centre or women centre • victims of sexual assault can make a complaint to the police. Sexual assault, whether it's facilitated with the use of drugs or not, is always a crime

33. The law In Canada, persons found guilty of sexual assault can face a maximum penalty of: • ten years in prison; • persons found guilty of sexual assault with a weapon, with threats to harm, or with causing bodily harm can receive a maximum sentence of 14 years in jail; • persons found guilty of aggravated sexual assault, when the victim is left wounded, maimed, disfigured, brutally beaten, or in danger of losing his/her life, can face a maximum penalty of imprisonment for life.