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ANGER Presented By: Pastor Nicolas Ellen
Definition of Anger • Disposition of the mind that entertains antagonism towards another individual, manifesting itself in various actions. • (Matthew 5:21-22; Genesis 4:1-8, John 2:12-17, Mark 3:5)
God’s Perspective on Anger • Anger is an attitude resulting in action (Proverbs.14:17,29,15:18,16:32,19:19,22:24-25,) Man’s Perspective on Anger • Anger is an emotion that is neutral
Types of Anger • Godly/Righteous Indignation - To be troubled or disgusted in attitude or action as a result of someone disgracing God or disregarding His Holy Laws (John 2:12-17; Ephesians 4:26-27, Mark 3:5,10:14,Exodus 32:1-30,Jeremiah 15:17, Nehemiah 5:1-13, 2Kings 13:14-19)
Worldly/Anger of Man – to have ungodly attitudes and actions as a result of some perceived need, desire, or personal preference /standard not being met by someone or being offended by someone (I Samuel 18:6-8, 20:24-34; James 1:19-20,4:1-2; Ephesians 4:31-32, Numbers 20:1-13,)
Key Point: Godly Anger or Righteous Indignation is the exception to the rule. Generally, when people are angry it has nothing to do with someone disgracing God or disregarding His Holy Laws. Therefore, most of the time when people are angry it is generally worldly/anger of man. They received something that they did not want or they did not receive what they wanted. As a result, ungodly attitudes and actions begin to manifest. Instead of being thankful to God for how he will use the situation or accepting what God has allowed in the situation they become negative and ungodly in thoughts, words, actions ,and relational patterns.
Issues that lead to Worldly/ Anger of Man • Misplaced Dependency (depend on people, place, things, or events to provide what only God provides) (I John 2:15-17, Jeremiah 17:5-6) • Unrealistic Expectations (expecting things that are beyond the scope of possibility)
Untrained in Handling Disappointments (not accepting the fallibility of people, places, things and events) (Proverbs 13:12, Genesis 4:1-8) • Not Accepting powerlessness over people, places, outcomes of events (resisting the fact that you were not designed to control people and outcome of events) (Numbers 20:1-13,Eccl. 9: 1-2; Eccl. 7:13-14)
Fear (Proverbs 29:25) • Pride (I Sam. 18:6-8) • Ignorance to Truth (Proverbs19:2-3) • Living by the Flesh (Galatians 5:17, 19-21) • Inferiority Complex (consumed with seeing yourself as less than others) (I Sam. 18:6-8)
Reasons Worldly Anger/ Anger of Man Shows Up (James 4:1-2) • Identity attacked or not affirmed 1. Put You Down 2. Does not encourage you • Unmet Desires 1. You want something you can’t control getting Examples:
To have control • To be loved • To be accepted • To be understood • To never hurt again • To be respected • To be served • To have your way • To be viewed as competent • To be approved of • To belong to someone • To be held in high regard • To maintain a favorable position with people
You’re getting something you don’t want and you can’t control it -Examples • To lack control over people/outcome of events • To be unloved • To be rejected • To be misunderstood • To be hurt/disappointed • To be disrespected • To not be served • To be denied your way • To be viewed as incompetent • To be disapproved of • To not belong to anyone • To be held in low regard • To maintain an unfavorable position
Personal Standards not agreed with • You want something done or handled your way by others • You want life to fit your preference
By-Products of Worldly/Anger of Man (Col. 3:8) • Bitterness • Slander • Abusive Speech • Wrath • Malice
Wrong ways people deal with anger (James 1:19-20, Ephesians 4:26-27) • Suppress- acting like it does not exist • Aggression- openly expressed anger at someone else’s expense • Passive Aggressive- indirectly expressed anger at someone else’s expense. • Do not deal with it before the day is done
The Right Way to Deal With Anger James 1:19,Ephesians 4:31, Colossians 3:1-8) • Acknowledge your anger • Confess the sin of your anger • Identify the Issues that lead up to your anger (Refer to V of Outline) • Identify reasons why you where angry (Refer to VI of Outline)
Identify the specific desires you are demanding to be fulfilled by God, people, places, events and things(Refer to VI of Outline) • Accept your inability to control God, people, and the outcome of circumstances • Accept these conditions:
The Person may be willing and able • The Person may be willing and unable • The Person may be unwilling and able • The Person may be unwilling and unable • It may be a desire that was not meant to be satisfied • Accept responsibility for your unloving thoughts, words, deeds, in the situation • Repent of unloving thoughts, words, deeds in the situation • Choose to serve and love others unconditionally
Follow the Biblical Mandate according to the relationship (1Cor13:4-7) • Husband/Wife (Eph. 5:18-33, Col. 3:18-19, I Peter 3:1-12) • Children (Eph. 6:1-2, Col. 3:20) • Parent (Eph. 6:4, Col. 3:21, Deut. 6:6-9, Prov. 22:6) • Friends (Prov. 27:5-6, Prov. 17:17,Prov. 27:9, Prov. 18:24) • Others (I Peter 3:8-12, Rom. 12:9-21, Gal. 6:1-10) • Leaders (I Tim. 4:16, Heb. 13:7, 17;I Peter 5:5, I Tim. 5:17-22, Luke 6:40) • Employer/Employee (Eph. 6:5-9, I Peter 2:18-29) • Government (Rom.13:1-2, I Peter 2:13-17) • Enemies (Luke 6:27-36) • Don’t allow it to go beyond that day (Ephesians 4:26-27)