120 likes | 340 Views
ATTRACTION. ATTRACTION. JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION ARE ONGOING JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION MAY INVOLVE: Social Attraction Physical Attraction Task Attraction. PRIMARY BASES OF ATTRACTION. REWARDS PROXIMITY SIMILARITY PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS WANTING WHAT YOU CAN’T HAVE.
E N D
ATTRACTION • JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION ARE ONGOING • JUDGMENTS OF ATTRACTION MAY INVOLVE: • Social Attraction • Physical Attraction • Task Attraction
PRIMARY BASES OF ATTRACTION • REWARDS • PROXIMITY • SIMILARITY • PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS • WANTING WHAT YOU CAN’T HAVE
SIMILARITY & DISSIMILARITY • WHY DO WE SEEK SIMILARITIES? • Suggests a common view of the world • Suggests promising energy investment
WHAT SIMILARITIES DO WE LOOK FOR? • Share understanding/acceptance of norms? • Share aspects of communicative style? • Share personal characteristics? • Share personal preferences? • Share needs?
WHEN DO SIMILARITIES NOT LEAD TO RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT? • Offsetting dissimilarities • Adequate stable of friends • Other is similar on things you’d like to avoid • Other is disliked by another valued/similar person • Early similarities superficial; don’t hold up • Specifics of abstract similarities revealed as dissimilarities
WHEN DO DISSIMILARITIES POSITIVELY AFFECT ATTRACTION? • Put yourself in contrast to others to test self • Time and energy investment is short • Differences don’t challenge most cherished beliefs • Differences are what you’d like to be like or need • Offsetting rewards • Dissimilarities minimally effect type of attraction
HOW ARE SIMILARITIES/DISSIMILARITIES REVEALED? • In changing bits and pieces (not like in “phantom-other” experiments) • Perhaps not revealed per se (e.g., you perceive “flexibility” which you then “see” everywhere) • When other behaves out of the ordinary • Dating services; online matchmaking sites • countrysingles.com • Match.com (100,000 active members claimed)
ATTRACTIVE PERSONALITY TRAITS (FOR MEN & WOMEN) • HONESTY, COMPETENCE, INTELLIGENCE, ENERGY, ABILITY, WARMTH, CONSIDERATION, UNDERSTANDING, SENSE OF HUMOR, DEPENDABILITY, EMOTIONAL STABILITY
THE DARK SIDE OF ATTRACTION • FATAL ATTRACTION • When the characteristics that attract a couple to each other create hurt & eventually destroy the relationship • TWO-SIDED ATTRACTION • When the same characteristic that attracted you to a person becomes a characteristic which you don’t like