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Dealing With Difficult People and Conflict Resolution

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Dealing With Difficult People and Conflict Resolution

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    1. Dealing With Difficult People and Conflict Resolution

    2. Have you met this person? 2011 2

    3. By show of hands, indicate the positions you currently hold in AYSO. 2011 3

    4. AYSO Positions Regional Commissioners Regional Coach Administrator Regional Referee Administrator Board Member Area Director or Area Staff Other 2011 4

    5. This course is designed to give you the tools to deal with challenging situations and difficult people in AYSO. 2011 5

    6. AYSO’s Six Philosophies Everyone Plays® Balanced Teams Open Registration Positive Coaching Good Sportsmanship Player Development 2011 6 Slide 8 of 56 CLICK to display each philosophy (6) CLICK to highlight Open Registration: “The AYSO Program is open to ALL children between 4 and 19 who want to register and play soccer” CLICK to advance the slideSlide 8 of 56 CLICK to display each philosophy (6) CLICK to highlight Open Registration: “The AYSO Program is open to ALL children between 4 and 19 who want to register and play soccer” CLICK to advance the slide

    7. True or False: Most people don’t consider themselves difficult. 2011 7

    8. What are the factors that make people difficult? 2011 8

    9. Difficult People Take five minutes in your groups to brainstorm one or two examples in each of these categories: 2011 9

    10. What makes people difficult? Someone wants something you can’t give them. Someone wants something you won’t give them. Someone refuses to listen. 2011 10

    11. What makes people difficult? 4. Someone makes threats; is disruptive and abusive. 5. Someone violates AYSO governing rules or commits an illegal act. 6. Someone takes a problem to the wrong individual. 2011 11

    12. What makes people difficult? Slides # 12 - # 23 provide examples of each situation and are meant for quick review after we have completed our discussion. 2011 12

    13. Someone wants something you can’t give them: Parents want two sons ages 9 and 14 on the same team. Parents want child to play with newly pierced ears. Parents want child registered without showing birth certificate. 2011 13

    14. Someone wants something you can’t give them: Parent wants to coach but refuses to provide Social Security Number on volunteer registration form. Referee will not let a player on field with new baseball cleats. 2011 14

    15. Someone wants something you won’t give them : Coach wants to keep an entire team together the next season. Parent demands a full refund in second week of season. Coach wants two assistant coaches with children on his team the last two years. Coaches rarely show up for practices. 2011 15

    16. Someone refuses to listen: Coach will not stay in technical area in spite of Referee warnings. Volunteer demands expense refund from National President for missing NAGM vote. Parent runs up and down the sideline screaming at his child, even though the Coach and Referee asked him to stop. 2011 16

    17. Someone takes a problem to the wrong individual: Coach calls the AD because he/she is not happy with Referee at last game. Parent calls National Office for daughter’s team assignment. 2011 17

    18. Someone takes a problem to the wrong individual Parent complains to Referee about her son’s Coach. Parent calls RC to find out child’s game time. Parent demands refund from National Office. 2011 18

    19. Someone makes threats; is disruptive and/or abusive Referee tells player to get out of her face or she will kick his butt. Parent challenges Referee to meet in parking lot after the game. Player tells another player, “Do that again and I will hurt you”. 2011 19

    20. Someone makes threats; is disruptive and/or abusive U-8 parent threatens to punch a Referee over call at a game. Coach instructs player to take out opposing goal keeper. Coach instructs goal keeper to let in goal for seeding in a tournament. 2011 20

    21. Someone violates AYSO governing rules/commits illegal act. Pre-signed checks. CVPA reviewed interesting arrest stories from some volunteer applications. Coach added new player without a signed registration form. 2011 21

    22. Concession stand director takes cash box home every Saturday to buy supplies for following week. RC appoints wife to be Treasurer. 2011 22

    23. Board Members pick own team at formation meeting. Parent refuses to stop smoking on touchline. Spectator violates Kid Zone®. 2011 23

    24. Coach gave a beer to a U-19 player. Coach tells player to remove cast before arriving at field. Female coach takes U-19 boys team to out of state tournament without appropriate male supervision. 2011 24

    25. Now let’s talk about ways to proactively deal with difficult people. The easiest way to deal with difficult situations is to prevent them. 2011 25

    26. Let’s discuss developing and using preventative tools which can help prevent most of the difficulties encountered. 2011 26

    27. What are some communication tools that could prevent difficult situations? 2011 27

    28. Answers … Parent Handbooks (Parent Contract – something they have to sign.) A Parent’s Guide to AYSO (Available from National Office.) 2011 28

    29. Answers… Training and Certification (Coaches, Referees, Staff) Training to the level of play is critical for Coaches and Referees. All Regional Board Members should be trained. Kids Zone® Newsletters/websites/other forms of communication. The Commish, PLAYSOCCER®, Region Newsletters, ayso.org, Region web sites, 2011 29

    30. Have you met these people? 2011 30

    31. Any others besides these? Mr. Combative Personality Mrs. Unrealistic Expectations The Chronic Malcontent The Eternal Victims The Special Favor Person 2011 31

    32. Try these Basic Communication Skills to Defuse the Conflict Maintain or enhance their self-esteem. Listen and respond with empathy. Get them involved. Make procedural suggestions. Turn conflict into partner of solution. 2011 32

    33. Do’s Of Resolving Conflict Use key communication principles - Face to face, telephone, email, etc. Be positive and patient. Focus on the problem, NOT the person. Keep an open mind. 2011 33

    34. More Do’s Explore all alternatives for resolving the conflict. Try to understand the other person’s point of view. Seek the other person’s ideas. End on a positive note. 2011 34

    35. Don’ts Of Resolving Conflict Pre-judge people. Assume you have all the facts. Focus on the other person’s attitude, personality, or presumed motive. Meet practical needs at the expense of personal needs. 2011 35

    36. Don’ts Of Resolving Conflict React immediately; on emotional high. React – respond. Take it personally. Cut the other person off. Disrespect the other person. Raise your voice. 2011 36

    37. Conclusion Maintain or enhance self-esteem. Listen and respond with empathy. Ask for their help. Encourage their involvement. Make it a win - win for both sides. 2011 37

    38. Remember to attend the “Dispute Resolution Workshop” on due process. 2011 38

    39. 2011 39

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