The Collected Writings of Chris Jones An Anthology Compiled by Chris Jones

1. Click Here At Any Time To Visit My Table of Contents The Collected Writings of Chris Jones An Anthology Compiled by Chris Jones Special Thanks: The Chris Jones Foundation And: Ms. McGee’s AP English 12 Class

2. Table of Contents Click Any Of The Links To See My Work! My Past: Elementary School The Great Person and Frog War (A Short Story- 4th Grade) Dear Ms. Clearly (A Personal Letter- 5th Grade) Moving (An Autobiography- 5th Grade) My Past: Middle School The Life of a Scientist (A Poem- 6th Grade) My Present: High School My Soul (An Artwork- 12th Grade) My Soul (An Essay- 12th Grade) Hemmingway Among the Bohemians (A Formal Annotation- 12th Grade) Perseverance (A College Application Essay- 12th Grade) Ode to the Cathedral (A Sonnet- 12th Grade) My Future My Life List

3. The Great Person and Frog War Would you like to hear about the most interesting week that I ever had in school? It took place March 5th – 9th of 1997. It all started on March 5th when we were just getting back from P.E. That meant that we were about to do show-and-tell (we were in Kindergarten). The letter of the week was J. Everything we brought in had to begin with the letter J. After a bunch of boring stuff, one kid came in with a big jar full of giant jumping joyful frogs. After sharing it, the mischief-maker, Monique, opened the jar of 300 jumping frogs. Automatically, my teacher fainted. We scattered to pick up all of the frogs but when we counted there were only 299 frogs. We thought that we had miscounted and ignored it. Shortly after that our teacher woke up. We continued our work. On March 9th, my birthday, I reached into my desk to get something to entertain myself. When I reached into my desk I found a big fat frog and a gigantic egg case. I ran to the teacher. She fainted again. So I ran to the janitors and screamed, “There is a gigantic frog in my desk with an egg case!” They looked at me like I had lost my mind. After about five minutes of staring at me, the janitors finally came and took the frog out. After that we talked to our Principle, who kind of looks like a frog, and wrote to the Congress. Now no pets are allowed in schools. Thus ended the great person and frog war.

5. Moving: An Autobiography Vroom! Vroom! There goes the moving truck warming up to take me to my new home. I had heard this sound a total of five times before I turned eight. Each time my journey took about seven days. I wrote this essay in order to explain how all this moving has had a big effect on my life. The first move that I am going to talk about took place in March of 1992. At this time I moved from Georgia north to Connecticut. While it was my first move, it was also my easiest. Because I was so young, I did not have as many friends to say goodbye to. This move was also important because in Connecticut My mom had my little brother, Jacob. He is such a great thing in my life because he is my oldest sibling, and my only little brother. He became my built in friend through the rest of my moves. The second move was across the USA from Connecticut to California, a total of 3000 miles, in March of 1994. At this time, I was about three years old, and at that age Disney Land is a great place. We were moving to the same state as Disney Land! Again, I was still young enough that it was not hard to say goodbye to my friends. Also, in California, my mom had my little sister, Laura, who is now the youngest person in the family, and my only little sister. I got another built in playmate. My third move was during December of 1995 when we moved across country again from California back to Connecticut. This was the first move where I had a hard time saying goodbye to my friends. At least I knew I had friends waiting for me back in Connecticut. No siblings were born in Connecticut this time. My fourth move was from Connecticut across the country yet another time to Washington State. This move was important because this is the first move that I actually remember. It was in July of 1996. I was finally old enough to have my own atlas to help plan the drive. I followed our trip each day by highlighting how far we had driven along our path. We brought with us my Aunt Barb and my cousin Matthew, so I now had three playmates. I did not feel that I had to say goodbye to all my friends. I brought them with me. Together, we read “Super Fudge” in the car. My fifth and final Traveling adventure was about three years ago, we moved from Washington State to Virginia. That is where I live now. Virginia is the place that I have lived the longest. On this trip, I got to teach my siblings how to use the atlas and follow along. Also, since I was now in school, we now had to find the best school in our new location. My whole family used the Internet to research the schools in Virginia Beach. We found out that Christopher Farms was a great school, so we bought a house in the Christopher Farms neighborhood. I think that moving has had a good effect on my life, because I have learned to make friends quickly, and I have grown to not mind traveling. When we study American geography, I have been to most of the places. Because of the amount of time my Father has in the Navy, we may never have to move again. But, if we do, I know that I am ready. I can handle any adventure.

6. The Life of a Scientist Roses are red, Violets are blue. Athletes get all the girls, And scientists never do! The quarterback throws touchdowns, The boxer throws left hooks, For now at least, Us budding young scientists, we just have our books! The football players in their letterman jackets May think they look pretty cool, But in the long run it’s the advanced science goggles, That makes the girls drool. Today I call them jocks, They create quite a stir, But 5 years after graduation, The jocks will just call me sir! If I become a scientist, I’ll end up with the girls, you see. And all those cool jocks, Will someday work for me!

8. My Soul I spent a lot of time in developing this project trying to define the term “soul.” I am by no means a religious person, so I chose to reject the spiritual meaning of the word and instead go with the essence of my existence. I tried to represent the summation of my thoughts, actions, and motivations in every-day life as a collective manifestation of my essence. Because my life is nowhere near complete, I chose to leave many sections blank, signifying things yet to happen. I tried to render my “soul” in a way analogous to a computer. I do not intend to imply super-human intelligence or ability; instead I see these traits as a sort of weakness. I find visualizing and imagining things to be challenging; instead my thoughts tend to be more text-based and methodically organized. I imagine my mind as being compartmentalized like I keep my knowledge and memories organized in discrete locations, like a closet full of photographs sorted into shoeboxes. As a result, I have trouble relating distant concepts and seeing the “big picture.” The three biggest components of my thoughts and actions at this stage in my life involve school, relationships, and the future. All three of these components of my life are sources of stress and anxiety, but they each have bright sides that help keep my life stable. Particularly, inter-personal relationships are challenging for me. I have friends and acquaintances, and am by no means a loner, but I always feel like I’m on the outside looking in, like I don’t really “fit in” with any of my friends. This inability to make strong interpersonal relationships only furthers the “human vs. computer” motif. The bold question at the bottom, “Could I pass the Touring Test?” sums up this motif. The touring test is a hypothetical test used in artificial intelligence that separates humans from computers. My imaginative deficiencies, compartmentalized memory, and trouble with interpersonal relationships all seem to liken me more to a computer than to a human.

9. Soto, Michael. "Hemingway Among the Bohemions: A Generational Reading of The Sun Also Rises." The Hemingway Review 21.1 (2001): 5-22. Michael Soto, an Assistant Professor of English at Trinity University, asserts the generational aspect of Hemmingway’s novel, The Sun Also Rises. He claims that, on top of its position in classic literature, the novel is a testament and a documentation of the lifestyle and society of the Bohemian “Lost” Generation of artists, writers, et cetera, from America who lived in Europe in the post-World War I era. The article sites the inclusion of popular songs and books (such as “The Purple Land,”) colloquialisms, and the Roman-A-Clef genre, to enhance this argument. The article serves primarily as a synthesis of several other scholarly works, and draws on the works of countless other literary critics and scholars. The language is primarily unelevated, with sporadic jumps to include literary vocabulary which only come across as a forced attempt to seem “scholarly.” Although the article is interesting and makes a few good points, it presents very little new information, and seems to present information in roundabout ways, only further diluting its novelty.

10. Perseverance Entering the first day of my first Advanced Placement class, European History, I was terrified. The course’s reputation is ominous; it is often referred to as the hardest my school offers. The teacher was a twenty-something, hundred-pound, innocent-looking, scholar. Much like in the 1984 movie “Gremlins,” he soon turned vicious. He introduced himself and promptly informed us that he would make sure only one-fourth of our class remained at the end of the quarter. His first task, designed to weed us out, was one of rote-memorization; we had 48 hours to prepare for a test on European geography. At this point in life I knew a few things: I was going to graduate with honors at the top of my class, I had my sights set on UVA, and nothing, even a five-foot-four gremlin, was going to stand in my way. So I studied. After 48 hours of intense studying, I thought I was ready. When I opened the test booklet, I felt like I was reading a foreign language. I failed that test. The next morning my worst fear was realized when I received my test paper back with a short, handwritten verdict that read “You don’t belong in this class.” Never have six short words held such a sway over my life. As a student accustomed to seeing only perfect grades and stickers at the top of test papers, I didn’t know how to respond. I considered dropping the course as per the teacher’s recommendation, but I feared such an action would lead me down the slippery slope to failure. Staying meant I would fail the class and end up in the same place. I honestly believed that my entire future depended on whether or not I mastered the history of western society by the end of my sophomore year. Instead of quitting, I concentrated that emotion and fear and used it to push myself through the class. I developed my skills to master time-management, to search beyond the resources provided by my school, and to express my ideas coherently. The entire course was an extreme challenge and often required many hours of studying, but in the end I was rewarded with an “A.” This event marked a major point in my life. It awoke me to the fact that school and life in general would no longer allow me to skate by. I had to learn to compete at a higher level. The rewards from this class far exceeded the grade on the report card. I have been able to apply the basic skills learned in the class to all aspects of the multi-faceted life that I lead today. I have also learned not to measure myself based on a rubric provided by a teacher, instead I study until I feel confident I have mastered the subject. A new era in my life has dawned, and although this was a rude awakening, I owe much to that teacher for pushing me to find my true limits.

11. Ode to the Cathedral Weight is dispersed through protruding arms And is directed straight into the ground. Chapels filled with fancy religious charms Extend from the path that wraps all around. Windows made of specially colored glass Are arranged to embellish the façade. Through all these windows light will softly pass To remind them of the presence of God. Pilgrims will travel for more than a year Just to worship at the cathedral here.

12. My Future Plans • Learn to Draw • Live in a small NYC Apartment • Go to the Moon • Hold Public Office • Breed Dogs • Become a Computer Scientist • Create A Programming Language • Learn to Unicycle • Only Use Open-Source Products • Design My Own House • Be In A Movie • Learn to Use Photoshop • Go to Burning Man Have a Wife and Kids Work for IDEO Finish A Triathlon Get a Tattoo See The Day Marijuana is Legalized Live in Israel Have Dreadlocks Travel Through Time Write a Book Learn to Sing Go SCUBA Diving See a Led Zeppelin Reunion Concert Work as a Photographer