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Showing vs. Telling. Telling. Usually General Lacks Visual Clarity To be used when details are not relevant to purpose of story. Telling Examples. She went home in a bad mood. What kind of a bad mood? How did she act or look ? Vague : My neighbor bought a really nice old desk.
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Telling Usually General Lacks Visual Clarity To be used when details are not relevant to purpose of story.
Telling Examples • She went home in a bad mood. • What kind of a bad mood? How did she act or look? • Vague: My neighbor bought a really nice old desk. • Why nice? How old? What kind of desk?
Showing Detailed Specific To Experience Vivid & Alive (Its like your there) Invited DEEPER Level of Understanding
Showing Examples She stomped home, hands jammed in her pockets, angrily kicking rocks, dogs, small children, and anything else that crossed her path. My neighbor bought a solid oak, roll-top desk made in 1885 that contains a secret drawer triggered by a hidden spring.
Choose Specific Details That Show Your Point Showing Her sleepy brown eyes hardened into red-rimmed slits. She cocked her head, her curls matted on one-side. One fist clutched a decapitated lollipop, the other a barbie doll. She leveled her doll, head first, at my chest. “You meanie!” she growled. “You’ll never make me nap!” Telling • The little girl looked so tired, she clearly needed a nap.
Give the Reader a Reason to Feel Your Emotions Showing During our walks, the smell of fresh air and the feel of grass would make him caper. And, at the sound of my voice, his tail would thumped weakly on the ground. This morning, I filled his water bowl all the way to the top–just the way he likes it–before I remembered. He’s gone. Telling • I’ll never forget how I felt after Fido died. I was miserable.
Encourage Reader Involvement: Use Details that Imply the Main Point Showing That stranger had been scanning the room, and this time, Sally thought his eyes flickered in her direction. Wait — had he just put his hand on his heart? Or was he just brushing something off of his shirt? That shirt looked soft. Sally smiled. “He’s kind of cute,” her roommate giggled. Sally casually looked away, twirling a curl. “Oh, I don’t know,” she said, letting her eyes rest on the artwork, finding another excuse to laugh. Carefully turning her profile, she crossed her legs like her friends had practiced in middle school. That ought to do it, she thought. Telling • From the way she behaved in the crowded restaurant, you could tell Sally was attracted to the cute stranger in the black shirt. She tried a few things to get his attention, and eventually she thought she succeeded.
Showing: Informative Details and/or Emotional Language Emotional He’s drenched in sweat, his knuckles are white, he’s on the other side of the ping-pong table, and I’m about to bring him down. Informative • Ping-pong may look like a relaxing pastime, but for experts, winning the game requires manual dexterity, agility, and endurance.
Sometimes, “Telling” Is Good • What is your goal? • To inform? • To describe? • Are the details important? • EX: “Our coach is a former champion wrestler, but now he is overpaid, overweight, and over forty.” • Does it matter HOW overweight? overpaid?