Writing to Serve DMWW Customers

1. Writing to Serve DMWW Customers Des Moines water worksJune 7, 2017

2. Overview • • use preferred business style (pp. 3-4) • • organize your thoughts quickly and clearly (p. 5) • • set the right tone (pp. 6–7) • • build credibility by avoiding common mistakes (pp. 8-9) • • apply what you’ve learned (p.10)

3. What is professional writing? • We are in receipt of your complaint about the length of time you received an estimated bill, which you deem to be excessive. • So sorry your bill has been estimated for way too long. We’re on it! • Thank you for letting us know your concern about the length of time you’ve been receiving an estimated bill.

4. Professional writing ~ dress code President George W. Bush stands with members of the Northwestern University Women's Lacrosse team during Championship Day Tuesday, July 12, 2005, at the White House.

5. Why the flap over flip-flops? YOU WORE FLIP-FLOPS TO THE WHITE HOUSE? —athlete’s brother “It mortified me.” —athlete’s mother • MISMATCH • Disrespect • Cluelessness • Faux-pas “Nobody was wearing old beach flip-flops.” —athlete

6. What’s professional register? TONE: “somewhere between stuffed shirt and tee-shirt” —Dianna Booher

7. Setting the standard For business writing, formality depends on • your purpose • your relationship with reader

8. What is the relationship? DISTANCE? RANK? INSIDER/ OUTSIDER? OFFICIALDOCUMENT?

9. What is the relationship? DISTANCE? > distance = > formalitywhen in doubt, be more formal if mixed, write to highest rank RANK? generally communication with outsiders is more formal INSIDER/ OUTSIDER? may be writing for the record;may need to use official language and then This means… OFFICIALDOCUMENT?

10. How formal do I need to be? DISTANCE? x long-term client RANK? x prefers to be addressed by title INSIDER/ OUTSIDER? x outside company OFFICIALDOCUMENT? x routine correspondence Check: WriteBetteratWork.com/Quizzes How formal should my email be?

11. What is preferred business style?

12. Start with simple words PLAIN As you hike, you maysee deer, elk, and big-horn sheep. ORIGINAL Charismatic megafauna may be observed at various locations. Dept. of Interior exhibit on large animals native to the western US

13. Which writer seems smarter? ORIGINAL Charismatic megafauna may be observed at various locations. PLAIN As you hike, you maysee deer, elk, and big-horn sheep. Using big words needlessly makes people distrust writers; using simple words makes you seem smarter and more credible. —Daniel M. Oppenheimer, winner of the 2006 Ignobel Prize

14. Oppenheimer won the 2006 Ignobel Prize for “Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized Irrespective of Necessity: Problems with Using Long Words Needlessly.” “My research shows conciseness is interpreted as intelligence. So thank you.” —Daniel M. Oppenheimer, winner of the 2006 Ignobel Prize

15. Example: DMWW FAQs

16. Define terms that might be unfamiliar • Plain LanguagePrinciples: • Use simple language. • Define technical terms• by example• in context• both

17. “Unfamiliar” depends on audience

18. Keep it short and simple

19. Check yourself: Hemingwayapp.com

20. Check yourself: Hemingwayapp.com

21. Why is Grade 6 a good score?

22. What’s the readability range? For business writing, no higher than grade 10

23. Why are reading levels just a guide? • Algorithms calculate number of words, syllables, and sentences • Can’t measure complexity of ideas Theory of Relativity = G 5?

24. Use Hemingwayapp.com • Check readability • Identify sentences that might be hard to read • Find ways to shorten and simplify your writing

25. Try Hemingwayapp.com • Is your readability in the right range? • How could you revise sentences that might be hard to read? • Shorten them • Ask: How would I say thisif I were talking to someone?

26. What Hemingwayappcan’t do • Put information in the order readers need it • Anticipate readers’ questions • Break complex information into easy-to-read chunks • Establish a relationship with the reader

27. What makes this reader-centered? Subject: Noise level in the break rooms Many of you have told me about the growing tension you feel around using the break room. How can we satisfy everyone?Some of you use it to get a snack and socialize; others need a quiet place to work. Your ideas are welcomeWhat do you think we can do about this? Dumaine, Write to the Top

28. How do I put my customer first? • Why am I writing? • Who is my audience? • What do they need to know? • What questions are they likely to have? • What is my relationship to my customer?

29. Why am I writing? • What is my bottom line? • BLUF memo puts the bottom line up front • Begin with bottom line: what do readers need to know or do after reading this? • Summarize your main supporting points • Save technical details until the end or put them in an attachment or appendix

30. How to bury the bottom line • In 1979, the nuclear reactor at Three Mile Island partially melted down. • This is the memo that could have prevented the disaster. • THE BABCOCK AND WILCOX COMPANYPOWER GENERATION GROUP • To: Jim Taylor, Manager, Licensing • From: Bert M. Dunn, Manager ECCS Analysis (2138) • Subj: Operator Interruption of High Pressure Injection • Date: February 9, 1978 • This memo addresses a serious concern within ECCS Analysis about the potential for operator action to terminate high pressure injection following the initial stage of a LOCA [loss-of-coolant accident]. Successful ECCS operation during small breaks depends on the accumulated reactor coolant system inventory as well as the ECCS injection rate. As such, it is mandatory that full injection flow be maintained from the point of emergency safety features actuation system (ESFAS) actuation until the high pressure injection rate can fully compensate for the reactor heat load. As the injection rate depends on the reactor coolant system pressure, the time at which a compensating match-up occurs is variable and cannot be specified as a fixed number. It is quite possible, for example, that the high pressure injection may successfully match up with all heat sources at time t and that due to system pressurization be inadequate at some later time. • The direct concern here rose out of the recent incident at Toledo. During the accident the operator terminated high pressure injection due to an apparent system recovery indicated by high level within the pressurizer…

31. Why didn’t Taylor act right away? • He was responsible for licensing, not operations. • The engineers had a reputation for wrangling. • The critical information was at the end of a two-page, 503-word memo. • The warning was vague: I believe this is a very serious matter and deserves our prompt attention and correction.

32. What if Dunn had used BLUF? • Put the Bottom Line Up Front • Tell readers what they will know or need to doafter reading • Summarize the rationale • Provide details at the end

33. From 503 words to BLUF Bottom Line Preview of what readers need to know or do Details belong last or in attachment

34. Why is BLUF also called Action Format? • Readers are 50% more likely to respond to BLUF memo on the same day • Readers spent 17–23% less time rereading • BLUF format saved $53 million/year in Navy study* *As cited by Joseph Kimble in “Writing for Dollars, Writing to Please”: http://www.editorsoftware.com/Downloads/Kimble_Writing_for_Dollars_plain_English.pdf

35. Your BL should be about customer • Put the Bottom Line firstAcknowledge question or concern • Respond Explain what DMWW will do (can do) to resolve problem or address concern • Review from customer’s point of view Have you just defended DMWW or have you provided reasonable satisfaction to the customer?

36. Your BL should be about customer • If you have to say No • Provide a rationale • Suggest an alternative,if one is available You requested reimbursement for a load of clothes ruined by “smelly water.” Before I can fulfill your request, I must be sure that the smell you noticed was caused by your water. A simple test will tell us if the musty smell came from your water….

37. Who is my customer?

38. Who is my customer? • What does my customer need to know? • What questions is my customer likely to have? • How is my customer likely to feel about my response? • If I have to say no, what can I do?

39. When you write When writing Berkshire Hathaway's annual report, I pretend that I'm talking to my sisters. I have no trouble picturing them. • Use a template for format. • Collect the information you’ll need. • Write with a specific person in mind. Though highly intelligent, they are not experts in accounting or finance. They understand plainEnglish, but jargon may puzzle them. No siblings to write to? Borrow mine.Just begin “Dear Doris and Bertie.”

40. Who are you writing to?

41. FORMAT: Email Do use a greeting OPENING 75% of emails are irrelevant, making being cc’d too often a top email pet peeve TO: Anyone who needs to take action CC: Anyone who needs to be informed SUBJECT: Make your subject line specific: Change of plans vs. Benefits meeting moved to Tuesday, 10 AM If more than 3 screens, send letter To share detailed information, use attachments BODY SIGNATURE If you’re replying, match formality of signature Better to be too formal than too informal

42. Design for easy reading To: All staff From: H. Honcho Re: Reminder about summer dress code Date: 1 July 2017 Our summer dress code is business casual: clothes that are both comfortable and professional. Men Women khaki pants pants or shoes leather shoes leather or fabric shoes

43. New topic? Change subject To: Bill From: Hayden Re: New rates approved (WAS: Budget numbers needed by Friday noon) Date: 1 July 2017 Thanks for sending the new rates, Bill. I’ll use them to revise projected revenue and get you the new numbers by Monday.

44. Send an email? • Share confidential salary information • Deal with a personal hygiene issue • Get an immediate reply • Settle a conflict between two team members • Recap a conversation about a pending order • Set up a meeting next month • Keep people updated on a project’s status

45. Send an email? • Share confidential salary information • Deal with a personal hygiene issue • Get an immediate reply • Settle a conflict between two team members • Recap a conversation about a pending order • Set up a meeting next month • Keep people updated on a project’s status

46. When NOT to email • When the subject is sensitive or confidential • When it takes more than three emails to resolve a situation • When you provoke an unexpected response

50. EMAIL: CONFLICT SPIRAL • • No inhibitory feedback • • Few cues to tone —Neutral language perceived as cool —Mild annoyance perceived as anger