May Edition, Issue #19

1. May Edition, Issue #19 By Marie Sirenko Happy Birthday,

2. Month Info Page More Mayness! May Flower:Lily of the Valley! May Birthstone:Emerald!

3. SUPER AWESOMELEY AWESOME PEOPLE WHO ARE AWESOMELEY AWESOME ENOUGH TO SUBMIT SOMETHING AWESOME TO THE FUNNY MAGAZINE Since I didn’t get many replies, everyone who gave me one gets a reserved copy! (even if they weren’t in the magazine) In Magazine: (candy+reserved copy) Not in magazine:(Just reserved copy) Catherine L.Emily A. John C Max L. (3638) Mia H. Patrick L. Ryan H. Sophia H. Alex K. Jack B. Paxton The Funny Magazine!

4. Crazy Marie The Funny Magazine Quiz Do you like The Funny Magazine? How awesome is TFM? What do you like most about TFM? A. Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! B. DUHHHHHHHHHH C. Of COURSE!!!!!!!!!!!! This question was suggested by Catherine L.  A. As awesome as a rainbow unicorn! B. As awesome as an awesome possum! C. Eh, it’s ok… JK IT’S SUPER AWESOME!!! A. Dear Mr. Ugly B. Sandie’s Blog C. Weird Page D. Submitted Page E. EVERYTHING!!!!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY FUNNY MAGAZINE!!!

5. Andrew’s Page After being lazy for, like, ever, Andrew decided to make his page! :p Morse code is very iconic. It is compromised of dots and dashes, or short sounds and long ones. A combination of them make a letter. Here is the cheat sheet! • Try to break this code! • …. .- .--. .--. -.— • -… .. .-. - …. -.. .- -.— • ..-. --! • - …. . ..-. .. .-. … - • .--. . .-. … --- -. • - --- … …. --- .-- • - …. .. … - --- • -- .- .-. .. . --. . - … • ..-. .-. . . -.-. .- -. -.. -.--! Now put the code here: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _! _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _!

6. Dear Mr. Ugly Dear Mr. Ugly, Who is your mother? From, Sophia H. Dear Sophia, My mom is a supermodel named Mrs. Beautiful! (really) From Mr. Ugly Dear Mr. Ugly, I LOVE TRASH TOO! OMG we are TWINSIES!!! From, Mia H. Dear Mia, OMG WE SHOULD TOTES THROW A TRASH PARTY! From Mr. Ugly Dear Mr. Ugly, Do you like comets? From, 3683 Dear 3683, Uh… I don’t know. What kind of a question is that? From Mr. Ugly

7. Dear Mr. Ugly, Where do you go for vacations? From, Catherine L. Dear Catherine, Well, I like my dump, but I like to walk over to that bush right near my place. It’s pretty! From Mr. Ugly Dear Mr. Ugly, Do you like bacon? Because if you don’t, I’ll find you and feed you to a bunny! Emily A. Dear Emily, I like bacon, but only if I have a side of trash. From Mr. Ugly Note from Marie: I just want to remind you all that Dear Mr. Ugly isn’t just a question thing, but it’s also an advice column. Remember, the first questions for Mr. Ugly were: “What should I wear to Timmy’s party?” and “What should I make for my party?” So maybe this time, right an advice question!

8. Sandie’s Blog Hey Guys! Now that it’s near summer, I’m shedding all over the place. There’s like three inches of fur on the floor! So, my owners keep taking me to the balcony and brushing my fur out. It feels really weird! When they do it on my back, it feels like a massage, but everywhere else it feels horrible! And then they gather up all my fur and throw it away. It’s sad to see so much fur go to waste! Here’s a picture of it all: Sad, right? What should I do to make them stop?????????? Posted by SandieRocks

9. Replies from the neighborhood… Zuni123 said:Sandie, if you’re shedding all over the place, the only thing your owners can do is brush you! It’s really not that bad. SandieRocks replied:Yes it is that bad! My well earned fur is falling out because of the brush!!! PeeWeeChihuahua said:IKR??? My fur is falling off. But that’s great cuz I don’t like fur. It’s so ANNOYING! And it doesn’t listen to me >:( SandieRocks replied:*Gasp* You don’t like fur??? It’s not annoying! And fur isn’t… uh… supposed to listen to you anyway. Unless… *Shudder* your fur is… POSSESED BY THE FUR MONSTER!!!

10. Replies from last month… TheBomb.Com123* said: Trust me, and I mean TRUST me, you don’t want to go! On the plane, they feed you STERILIZED EGGS that smell super gross! Also, the dogs on the streets of New York mug you for DOG TREATS! SandieRocks: Uh… Well… um… I got nothing to say to that. BaconLover123** said: Vacations are DA BOMB.COM!!! But bacon is WAAAAYYYY better… Just saying… SandieRocks: I agree, bacon is MUCH better than a vacation… but I still want one! MushroomBoy*** said: Hmm… you should go in the back of the car and crawl in a suitcase! SandieRocks: But what if I suffocate in the suitcase????? JohnC said: They probably need you as a guard dog. BIG RESPONSIBILITY!!! SandieRocks: But how would they need me as a guard do if they send me to a treacherous jail called… *shudders* HOLIDAY KENNELS??? *=Ryan H. **=Emily A. ***=Patrick L.

11. Weird Page 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Which one is your favorite? Write it on the back!

12. Votes from last month… 2 votes 2 votes 3 votes 4 votes WINNER!!!!!! 7 VOTES!!!

13. Other Page “Yes, yes, yes!” Once upon a time, there was a lady. She went into town and heard someone say, “Yes, yes, yes!” She liked the sound of that, so she decided that every mile she walked, she would say that. The next day, the lady was walking her mile in town when she heard a little boy say, “He stole my lollipop!” She liked the sound of that too, so she decided that she would say that every mile she walked as well. The third day in town, she heard a man say, “Forks and knives! Forks and knives!” she liked that too, so now she had three things to say every mile. The fourth day in town, there was a murder scene. A police officer asked her, “Did you kill this man?” Since the lady had walked a mile, she answered, “Yes, yes, yes!” He looked confused, but then asked, “Why did you kill him?” “He stole my lollipop!” She replied. The officer looked even more confused. “Well, what did you kill him with?” “Forks and knives! Forks and knives!”

14. Goats!!!  This is what we saw on the hill of Edgewood road! (there WAS a fence) We also saw the goats behind this fence  on the 4th of July when we were watching the fireworks!

15. Submitted Page Name:_________ Title:_____________ ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Emily A. Once upon a time… Once upon a time, wait… why does EVERY story begin with “Once upon a time…”IT’s SO DUMB!!!!!!! Oh well. THE END ;) John C. The Blob So one day I’m walking and this big thing hits me in the head. I’m thinking, what the heck… Then I see this purple thing on my head. It jumps off, races towards a random dude and eats him!!!??? So then I’m thinking, whoa, that didn’t just happen… but it DID! Uh oh, something’s knocking at my door. One sec. … … … Oh, hello Blah the blob. Name:_________ Title:_____________ _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Not many stories, guys  Please write some more this time?

16. Name:__________ Title:_________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Catherine L. Mr. Ugly V.S. Lady Clean Long ago, in the kingdom of YangaBlanga, our beloved hero rested in his dump feasting on plastic bags and chewy, but well singed tires. Just then, a servant burst in. “Lord Ugly, we have sighted Lady Clean on our border, stealing our trash to burn it down!” the servant told him. “How dare she!?” Our hero screamed and rushed out the door. He summoned his valiant, butt kicking (literally) horse and rode down to the edges of his lands. He was only three feet from the barrier when he noticed a change. A cinnamon scent filled the air, and where were the flies? He sniffed the air again. Air freshener and perfume. He could forgive lady clean for air refreshments, but using perfume was unacceptable, especially in his realm. Just then, he saw a women in flowing white robes and a tiara on her black hair. She hummed while picking up his treasures . All that beautiful and antiques… our hero felt a tear trickle down his cheek. “Lady Clean, how could you steal my trash?” He sobbed. Lady Clean just laughed. Very Ugly, you have to know that trash is bad.” Very very bad, very Ugly, she said. Laughing and breaking into giggles. . Our hero raised his toxic waste lance and pointed it at Lady Clean. Lady Clean looked shocked and ran. “Coward!” muttered Mr. Ugly and he turned back to his royal dump. WOW!!! AMAZING STORY, CATHERINE!

17. Ditzy’s Editorial You should hire more people for TFM Editorial Staff ;) ~John C. John, you’re on the flea team for barging into all of our meetings, remember? But maybe we’ll add a few more people because Emily and Sarah dropped out. We’ll see… Could you have more contests? Like making the submitted page give a mention to the best story? ~Catherine L. Sure! That would be fun. (By the way, your story would win in this issue) Also, this month we have a writing contest! (instructions in a few pages) Join to win the prizes! You should have an art page where you can color a picture. ~Patrick L. Unfortunately, we don’t have enough space for any more pages  Although here’s a small picture to color: Continue being awesome!!!!! :D ~Sophia H. Aww, thanks! :3 We’ll try ;) Do something like the drawing contest? That was really fun! ~Mia H. I’m glad you thought it was fun  As explained in Catherine’s question, we have a writing contest this month! And we’ll have another drawing contest in the future. :3

18. Fun Page Find the way through the maze! Finish Start (I know, it’s kind of lame. I didn’t really have time…)

19. Student council elections are coming up! So… Poster design by Marie Sirenko 

20. WRITING CONTEST! In the space below, write a short paragraph about why you like The Funny Magazine! • First place will get lots of candy and a first place ribbon • Second place will get candy and a second place badge • Third place will get some candy and a third place paper • Honorable mentions will get a candy ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ ENTRIES DUE JUNE 10th!!!

21. Do you have replies to anything? Write it over here! Name:______________ Nowrip it out and give it to Marie! Suggestion for Sandie: ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________From: Dear Mr. Ugly, From: Fav. Picture: # Favorite Funny Magazine Issue:___________________ Story (Aww, please? I really need some!) : ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I COMAND YOU TO LOOK ON THE BACK NOW…

22. CONTINUE STORY… __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Suggestions & Ideas for Ditzy’s Editorial… ____________________________ _____________________________________________________________________________________________Thank you! These really help  ~Marie PLEASE DO NOT DISTRIBUTE!!! I HAVE ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE, JUST ASK ME FOR AN EXTRA!!! (Unless I don’t have any extras. THEN you can share.)