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Talk in Developing Relationships

Talk in Developing Relationships. Talk to avoid awkwardness Talk for its own sake Talk to gather information Talk as audition for relationship Talk to accomplish tasks Others?. Characteristics of Good/Bad Experimenting Conversations. Mutual involvement Find integrating topics

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Talk in Developing Relationships

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  1. Talk in Developing Relationships • Talk to avoid awkwardness • Talk for its own sake • Talk to gather information • Talk as audition for relationship • Talk to accomplish tasks • Others?

  2. Characteristics of Good/Bad Experimenting Conversations • Mutual involvement • Find integrating topics • Finding each other interesting: Boring people seen as: passive, serious, egocentric, banal, preoccupied, low affect • Others?

  3. Self-Presentation or Impression Management • Goals to be seen as: • Likeable = Ingratiation • Competent = Self-Promotion • Worthy (honest, integrity, moral, etc.) = Exemplification • Helpless = Supplication • Dangerous or Powerful = Intimidation • Others? • From Jones, E. E., & Pittman, T. S. (982). Toward a general theory of strategic self-presentation. In J. Suls (Ed.), Psychological perspectives on the self (pp. 231-236). Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum.

  4. Anticipating Things Going Wrong: Disclaimers • Hedging – “I could be wrong, but…” • Credentialing – “Some of my best friends are Catholics, but….” • Sin license – “I never do things like this, but…” • Cognitive disclaimer – “I know this sounds crazy, but….” • Appeal for suspended judgment – “Before you get angry, let me explain….” From Hewitt & Stokes cited in Knapp & Vangelisti, p. 181

  5. Controlling Impressions When Things Do Go Wrong: Excuses, and Justifications • Apologies or Concessions express regret or provide an explanation • Excuses minimize responsibility • Unintentional, uncontrollable, mitigating circumstances, other to blame, I didn’t do it • Justifications give reasons • No real harm done, benefits offset harm, victim deserved it, discrediting accusers, other obligations supersede consequences • Redressive Actions try to make amends From Metts, S., & Grohskopf, E. (2003). Impression management: Goals, strategies, and skills. In J. O. Greene & B. R. Burleson (Eds.), Handbook of communication and social interaction skills (pp. 357-399). Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.

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