Intimate Relationships and Communication

1. Intimate Relationships and Communication Chapter Four

2. Developing Intimate Relationships • Be willing to give of themselves • Share their ideas, feelings, time, and needs • Self-Concept and Self-Esteem • Feel good about ourselves • Roots of our identity and self • Developed during childhood • Relationships with parents and other family members • Gender roles • Style of attachment • Formulation of friendships

3. Friendship • Characteristics • Companionship • Respect • Acceptance • Help • Trust • Loyalty • Reciprocity

4. Love, Sex, and Intimacy • Most basic and profound human emotions. • Encompasses opposites: • Affection and anger • Excitement and boredom • Stability and change • Bonds and freedom • Love does not give us perfect happiness, but it does give our lives meaning. • Positive factors that draw people together

5. The Pleasure and Pain of Love • Intense love has confused and tormented lovers though-out history • Passionate love • Recognize the human emotions have two components: • Physiological arousal • Emotional explanation for the arousal

6. The Transformation of Love • All relationships change over time. • At first, high levels of passion and increased intimacy • Reduction of romance and or passion leads to the transformation of deep love.

7. Challenges in Relationships • Honesty and Openness • Unequal or Premature commitment • Unrealistic Expectations • Expecting your partner to change • Assuming • Unsupported beliefs • Competitiveness • Focus on Fun • Balance of Time together and apart • Jealousy • Is not an element of love

8. Unhealthy Relationships • Reasons why? • Ending a Relationship • Guidelines of a breakup • Fair chance • Be fair and honest • Be tactful and compassionate • If you are the rejected person, make time for resolving your anger and pain • Recognize the value of the experience

9. Communication • Nonverbal • Ability to interpret nonverbal messages • Communication skills • Self-disclosure • Listening • Feedback is a constructive response • Gender differences in communication • Men • Establishing dominance/competitive • Men talk more/listen less • Women Establishing friendships • Affiliative way • Seeking advice • Obtaining cues from listening and eye contact

10. Conflict and Conflict Resolution • Conflict resolution skills are vital for maintaining intimate relationships. • Clarify the issue. • Find out what each person wants. • Brainstorming for options. • Decide how to negotiate. • Solidify the agreements. • Review and renegotiate.

11. Pairing and Singlehood • Choosing a Partner. • Similarities (to your own) • Ethnic and socioeconomic background, educational level, lifestyle, physical attractiveness, and other traits. • First attraction – observable characteristics • Communication. • Acceptance. • Most important question – How much do we have in common?

12. Dating • Different cultures have different rituals for finding a mate • Centers on a mutually enjoyable activity • American Culture • Getting to know each other • Traditional male-female dating pattern • Dating of young people “Today”

13. Living Together • Cohabitation • 30 years old • Half of all men and women have cohabited. • Factors of acceptance • Rarely continues indefinitely • Advantages • Liabilities

14. Same-Sex Partnerships • Gay and Lesbian • Sexual orientation • Homosexual relationships in relation to heterosexual relationships • Traditional gender roles • Societal attitudes • Same-sex marriage • Civil rights • “Homophobia”

15. Singlehood • Diverse group • 110 million single individuals • Mean marriage is 27.1 years for ♂ and 25.3 for♀. • Factors that contribute to a growing number • Advantages • Disadvantages • Enjoyment depends upon:

16. Marriage • Benefits of Marriage • Issues of marriage • Realistic expectations • Feels good about the personality of their mate • Communication • Conflict resolution • Religious and ethical values • Egalitarian role • Good balance of individual and joint interests • Role of Commitment

17. Separation and Divorce • High rates.. Why? • 50-55% chance of divorcing • Process of Divorce. • Emotional separation - First step • Physical separation • Greatest stress producing event next to the death of a spouse or family member • Recovery from divorce. • Remarriage.

18. Family Life Becoming a Parent Preparation for parenthood Own stability and readiness to be a parent Physical health Teenage parenting Over the age of 35 Nutritional habits Genetics • Financial • Considered educational and career plans • Emotionally ready • Social support • Attitudes and aptitudes 18

19. Parenting • Parenting styles • Authoritarian • Authoritative • Permissive (or indulgent) • Uninvolved • Children’s temperaments • Easy children • Difficult children • Slow-to-warm-up

20. Parenting and the Family Life Cycle • Provide a balance of firm limits and clear structure • High levels of: • Warmth • Nurturance • Respect • Grow of independence

21. Single-Parent Families • U.S. Census Bureau • 28% of all children under 18 live with only one parent. • Differences to a traditional family life cycle. • Difficulties experienced as a single parent. • Single Fatherhood. • Children from single-parent families.

22. Stepfamilies or Blended Families • 3 out of 4 women and 4 out of 5 men will remarry. • Should not be expected to duplicate the emotions and relationships of an intact family. • Healthy stepfamilies are less cohesive and more adaptable than healthy intact families. Allow for more individual differences. • More of a history they have the more of a family unit is built.

23. Successful Families • Commitment • Appreciation • Communication • Time together • Spiritual wellness • Coping with stress and crisis

24. Intimate Relationships and Communication Chapter Four