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Love and Communication in Intimate relationships

Maintaining Relationship Satisfaction. Love and Communication in Intimate relationships. Ingredients in a lasting love relationship. Self-acceptance and acceptance of one's partner Appreciation of one another Commitment Good communication Realistic expectations Shared interests

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Love and Communication in Intimate relationships

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  1. Maintaining Relationship Satisfaction Love and Communication in Intimate relationships

  2. Ingredients in a lasting love relationship • Self-acceptance and acceptance of one's partner • Appreciation of one another • Commitment • Good communication • Realistic expectations • Shared interests • Equality in decision making • Ability to face conflict effectively • Sexual variety

  3. Importance of Sexual Communication • Communication about sexual desires contributes to an enduring and satisfying sexual relationship • May be difficult because of socialization, limiting language or fears of self-expression; start by talking about how difficult it is to talk about it • Use a book, article, or questionnaire • Share sexual history • Be an active listener

  4. Discover your and your partner’s needs • Ask questions: yes/no, open-ended, either/or • Discuss sexual preferences • Give permission, encouragement, and reassurance • Learn to make requests and take responsibility for own pleasure • Use “I” language • Constructively express and receive complaints • Use non-verbal sexual communication

  5. Gottman’s Communication Patterns in Successful Relationships • Using “I” statements while leveling (stating feelings clearly simply and honestly) and editing (not saying things we know will hurt our partners and limiting comments to issue at hand) • Validating: letting partner know that given their point of view, we can understand why they think or feel the way they do • Volatile dialogue: a passionate way to resolve conflicts • Repair attempts: an action or statement that prevents negativity from escalating out of control (one of the primary factors in whether a marriage flourishes or flounders)

  6. Gottman’s Destructive Communication Tactics • The harsh startup; being negative or accusatory • Criticism: different from complaining in that it attacks the general character or personality • Contempt: increases negativity by adding insults, sarcasm, and name calling to criticism (contemptuous couples suffer more from infectious illnesses) • Defensiveness: a way of blaming one’s partner, making excuses, or denying responsibility, rather than attempting to resolve an issue • Stonewalling: refusing to communicate by putting up a wall, leaving, or ignoring • Belligerence: a provoking, confrontational, or hostile way of interacting

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