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Advertisements. The Haunted House. Den to Let By Gareth Owen. Property is southward facing And can be found Within a short walking distance Of the back door At bottom of garden Easily found in the dark By following the smell of old cabbages and tea bags Convenience escape routes

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  1. Advertisements The Haunted House

  2. Den to LetBy Gareth Owen Property is southward facing And can be found Within a short walking distance Of the back door At bottom of garden Easily found in the dark By following the smell of old cabbages and tea bags Convenience escape routes Past rubbish-dump To Seager’s Lane Through hole in hedge Or into next door’s garden But beware of next door’s rhinoceros Who sometimes thinks he’s a poodle Construction is Sound corrugated iron And roof doubles as a shower During rainy weather Being partially underground Den makes A particularly effective hiding place When in a state of war With older sisters Brothers Angry neighbours Or when you simply want to be alone. To let One self-contained Detached den. Accommodation is compact Measuring one yard square Ideal for two eight-year-olds Plus one small dog Or two cats Or six gerbils. Accommodation consists of One living room Which doubles as kitchen Bedroom Entrance-hall Dining-room Dungeon Space capsule Pirate boat Covered wagon Racing car Palace Aeroplane Junk-room And look-out post

  3. Some repair work needed To north wall Where Mr Spencer’s foot came through When planting turnips last Thursday With den go all contents Including One carpet - very smelly One teapot – cracked One woolly penguin – No beak and only one wing One unopened tin Of sultana pud One hundred and three Beanos Dated 1983 – 1985 And four Rupert annuals Rent is free The only payment being That the new occupant Should care for the den In the manner to which it has become accustomed And on long summer evenings Heroic songs of days gone by Should be sung loudly So that old and glorious days will never be forgotten.

  4. Part 1 The class explores a number of sites where houses are for sale and the teacher copies and pastes a range of property descriptions into a word document and then mover them to the pick-up zone in NEO Share. http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-forsale/Norfolk.html?sortByPriceDescending=false http://www.findaproperty.com/searchresults.aspx?edid=00&salerent=0&regionid=053&bedrooms=01 Children open the descriptions on their NEO 2s and in one file keep a list of words and phrases used by Estate Agents to persuade us to buy. In another file keep a list of abbreviations etc used by Estate Agents.

  5. Part 2 Ask the children to write down a list of rooms they may find in a haunted house. Explain that the humour usually works best if they understate the ghostly elements. Create a list using a colon in producing a list of key features

  6. Part 3 Share some of the first paragraphs with the rest of the class using NEO Share. Discuss what works well. Ask the children to now list ‘other interesting features’

  7. Part 4 To complete the presentation the children should describe the haunted house’s location and neighbourhood and set a price (this does not have to be monetary) Remind them of possible connectives such as: Finally To conclude In conclusion In summary Summing up

  8. Estate Agent Speak Benefits From Bijou Borders Characterful Charming In Need of Modernisation Internal Viewing Recommended Mature Garden Priced to Sell Studio

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