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Issues in Intimate Relationships. April 4, 2012. Lesson “Think” Question. What are some issues that affect couple relationships?. Intermarriage. Marriage between partners who are from different social, racial, religious, ethnic, or cultural backgrounds
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Issues in Intimate Relationships April 4, 2012
Lesson “Think” Question • What are some issues that affect couple relationships?
Intermarriage • Marriage between partners who are from different social, racial, religious, ethnic, or cultural backgrounds • Heterogamy – the opposite of social homogamy • Discuss • What issues might couples face if they intermarry? • Interracial couples, interethnic couples, interfaith couples • Think about values, norms, attitudes
Infidelity • Social norms in Canada define infidelity as unacceptable • Infidelity is legal grounds for divorce • 60% of men and 40% of women admit to having extramarital sex (informal survey) • Behaviour of unfaithful men & women is different • Men seek our sexual relationships • Women seek out emotional relationships
Theories of Infidelity • Evolutionary psychologists • men are biologically motivated to have as many sexual partners as possible to enhance his chance of having offspring • Women are more selective to improve the chances of having a partner to support the offspring • Nearness can also lead to infidelity – 50% of people who are unfaithful met the person at work (increased temptation) • Affairs represent immature moral behaviour in adults. • Individuals have affairs when their needs are not being met.
Consequences of Infidelity • Infidelity results in divorce 65% of the time • Counselling may help a couple to recover from an affair and negotiate a better relationship • In many cases, marriage cannot recover from infidelity because the trust within the relationship has been destroyed • The wronged party feels betrayed and humiliated • Very few people go on to marry their lovers
Violence in Relationships • Types of violence: physical, socio-emotional • Domestic Violence – Any action intended to physically hurt someone • Why violence? • Gender roles (history), learned behaviour, justifications • Cycle of Violence – Tension Building, Abusive Incident, Calm and Penance • Why don’t they just leave? • No money, too dangerous, no alternatives
Violence in Relationships (TED Talk) • Why is domestic violence not exclusively a “woman’s issue”? • What surprised you most about Leslie Morgan Steiner’s story? • Why don’t women leave their abusers?
Violence in Relationships • Steps in an abusive relationship: • 1.) Seduce & charm the victim • 2.) Isolate the victim • 3.) Introduce the threat of violence • 4.) Kill the victim
Violence in Relationships Key risk factors: • Unemployment • Bankruptcy • A drop in salary • Taking an additional job • Child support payments • A move to less expensive accommodations • Taking in a renter to make ends meet • A demotion at work or career setback • The rate of assault for men experiencing several of these events was 33 out of 100 men • Women are at the highest risk of violence when they are young, in a new marriage, pregnant, live in a low-income household, live with an unemployed man, or are thinking about ending their relationship
Divorce • Currently estimated, that 1 in 3 marriages will end in divorce • Top 5 reasons for divorces: • Different values and interests • Abuse: physical and emotional • Alcohol and drugs • Infidelity • Career-related conflict • Process: Awareness, Separation, Reorganization phase • Issues & impacts: Health, children, friends & family
Theories of Divorce • Emily Nett (1993): 2 categories of divorce • Marriage mistakes • Marriage failures • 17% of divorces that occur in the first five years of marriage reflect the basic incompatibility of couples • Couples who divorce later on have failed to adjust their relationship through critical transitions in their marriage
Theories of Divorce • Exchange theory: when the costs of the marriage are high, or the alternatives become more attractive than the marriage, individuals choose divorce • Women initiate divorce more often than men
Phases of Divorce • Awareness Phase • Couple initiates divorce; couple withdraws from the relationship; couple is aware they have problems • Separation Phase • The couple break off their marital system; settle child-custody and financial issues; notify friends & family; move into separate households; partners accept the economic realities of divorce • Reorganization Phase • The former couple establishes their separate lives and negotiate their new parental roles (if they have children)
Consequences of Divorce • Emotional • Loneliness, sadness, depression • Long-term, divorced individuals have 2x the rate of suicides, car accidents & physical illness and 6x the rate of psychological disorders • Economic • Reduced household income & lower standard of living • Women have a lower earning potential and are less likely to remarry, especially if they are older • Women with children suffer greatest financial difficulties
Marital Satisfaction (So what can we do?) • What brings you together will not keep you together • Capitalize on the positive • Remember the memory of the good experiences and how they felt • Sharing novel activities • Cooperation enhances interdependence
Predictors of Marital Success (Correlations) • Family background • People of divorced families are more likely divorce themselves in the future • Age • Couples who marry young experience higher divorce rates • Couples who marry later in life also experience a greater probability of divorce • Length of courtship • Longer periods of courtship are associated with a greater probability of marital success • Socioeconomic Status • Divorce rate is higher in the working and lower classes than in the upper and middle classes
Case Study • Read the case study “Peter and Jackie” in your textbook (pg. 274-275) and answer questions 1, 3 & 4. • Be prepared to share your answers with the class!