Communication & Conflict Management 9-9 and 9-11, 2014

1. PowerPoint Summary of: Framing Communication & Conflict Management9-9 and 9-11, 2014

2. PowerPoint Summary of: Framing Announcements • Vouchers needed by end of this week. Please turn them in!! • A1 Active Listening and I-message assignment is underway. Be watching for opportunities to use these skills!

3. PowerPoint Summary of: Framing This week’s topic: Framing!

4. PowerPoint Summary of: Framing What are “frames?” Frames are cognitive shortcuts—in a sense—categories--that people use to help make sense of complex information.

5. PowerPoint Summary of: Framing For instance? What do you see here?

6. PowerPoint Summary of: Framing Or here?

7. PowerPoint Summary of: Framing Conflict Frames • Conflict can be framed positively or negatively… • As a danger or • As an opportunity

8. PowerPoint Summary of: Framing Conflict Frames • People in the conflict can be framed positively or negatively • Identity frames • Characterization frames

9. PowerPoint Summary of: Framing Conflict Frames • The conflict structure can be framed positively or negatively • win-lose situation, (competitive process) • win-win situation, (cooperative process) • risk-gain/worst-case – best-case • into-the-sea framing

10. PowerPoint Summary of: Framing Conflict Frames • The substance (what the conflict is about) can be framed differently • Interests • Rights • Power • Needs

11. Interests • Interests are desires or goals--the things that people want to achieve in a conflict

12. Rights • Rights are independent standards of fairness that are either socially recognized or formally established in law or contract. • Include: reciprocity, precedent, equality, and seniority.

13. Power • Ability to get what you want – often narrowed down to one of three forms—coercive power. • Coercive power gets people to do things they wouldn’t otherwise do through threat or force.

14. Needs • Fundamental things needed for survival, growth and development. Includes • Physical needs • Psychosocial needs: security, identity, recognition, sense of belongingness, self-determination (Maslow)

15. Maslow’s human needs Burton: Identity, Security, Recognition

16. PowerPoint Summary of: Framing Conflict Frames • The context (lenses) can be different • Cultural/worldview frames • Personal experience frames

17. Conflict Communication & Framing in Farmingville • Take out a piece of paper (to hand in) and make a chart on it that looks like this:

20. Conflict Communication & Framing in Farmingville • Try to fill out as many examples as you can about these items as you watch the movie.

21. PowerPoint Summary of: Framing Common Framing Errors • Assuming you know what other person thinks • Assuming everyone sees it “your way” • Using toxic or value-laden language. • Presenting the problem in a positional, either-or way, or as a demand with no options for discussion. • Stating a problem in global terms “you always…” or too specifically.

22. PowerPoint Summary of: Framing Framing in your context – 2nd framing exercise: You are frustrated about your roommate’s cleaning (or absence thereof) • If you were to make framing error #1 (assuming you know), what might you say/do? What is likely to happen? • If you were to make framing error #2 (assuming THEY know), what might you say/do? What is likely to happen? • If you were to make framing error #3 (toxic language), what would you say?What is likely to happen?

23. PowerPoint Summary of: Framing Framing in your context – Third framing exercise: 4. If you were to make framing error #4 (positional/either or framing), what might you say? What is likely to happen? 3. If you were to make framing error #5 (too global), what might you say? What is likely to happen? • If you were to make framing error #6 (too specific) what might you say? What is likely to happen? • How do you think you could frame your frustration constructively?

24. PowerPoint Summary of: Framing Principles of Reframing • Every strong statement contains some important perception or kernel of truth. There usually is an underlying interest that prompted the strong statement. • People usually want a constructive response to their statements.

25. PowerPoint Summary of: Framing Principles of Reframing • People often switch to more productive communication when they believe they are being listened to and their needs are being addressed. • Question: how might you bring this about?

26. PowerPoint Summary of: Framing Steps of Reframing • Listen to the statement. • Work to understand the speaker’s underlying interest or need. • Ignore or remove the toxic or distracting words from the statement. • Restate the message to the speaker (“so you….” including the real issue or interest in constructive, positive terms.) • Check it out: “Is that it?” or “Do I understand correctly?”

27. PowerPoint Summary of: Framing Questions: Let’s try it:Let’s say your roommate says: “You such a slob! Why don’t you EVER pick up your stuff?!” • What is their essential message? (Remember, emotions can be part of the essential message.) • What makes it hard for you to hear their essential message? • How do most people respond to this message? • How would you respond if you followed ideas from this week?

28. PowerPoint Summary of: Framing Questions: Or your project partner says: “It’s obvious you don’t care about our grade. All you care about is partying and getting by.” • What is their essential message? (Remember, emotions can be part of the essential message.) • What makes it hard for you to hear their essential message? • How do most people respond to this message? • How would you respond if you followed ideas from this week?