Assertiveness

1. Assertiveness

3. Recap • Assertiveness Profile Quiz • Using Non-Verbal strategies (body language) • Neuro-linguistic strategies (positive use of language)

4. Adults in the school or college • Managing situations: • Emergencies • Disciplinary situations • First Aid supervision/coordination • Drills • Role model: • Safeguarding students • Human face of the school or college • Greater interaction

5. Assertiveness DEFENSIVE BEHAVIOUR “Behaviour to protect oneself from a perceived threat or attack.”Freud • passive: to shut down or withdraw • aggressive: verbally or physically attack or judge and blame another • manipulative: unscrupulous control of a situation or person • assertive: establish clear boundaries and express what is wanted or needed

6. DEFENSIVE BEHAVIOUR • Non verbal: Passive Forms: crossed arms and/or legs (closed or shut down posture), rolling the eyes, shaking the head, frowning, flushed face, refusing to speak, fidgeting, turning away, looking away, walking away. Aggressive Forms: slamming doors, leaning forward and glaring, pounding a fist, throwing something. • Verbal: Passive forms: Quiet tones, softly spoken, hesitant, frequent pausing, starting sentences with ‘sorry’, throat clearing. Aggressive Forms: attacking back, denying, raising voice tone, interrupting, dominating, repeating, swearing and name-calling, arguing, justifying, and rationalizing.

7. “Aggressive behaviour is when you stand up for your rights that ignore or dismiss the rights of others.” • “Non assertion is when you don’t stand up for your rights or you make it easy for others to ignore them.”

8. ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOUR Assertiveness To stand up for your rights, needs and beliefs in ways that take account of those of others

10. My rights...and everyone else’s • I have the right to express my views, and so do others • I have the right to say no • I have the right to be treated with respect • I have the right to be listened to • Others...have the right to support from me • To be listened to • To decline responsibility for my problems • To an explanation • Have the right to make mistakes and be responsible for them.

11. Mars and Venus • Behaviour by gender is influenced by the socialisation process. • We learn society's norms about how males and females look and act.

12. Fact, Sympathy and Suggestion Technique • de-personalise the situation • show an element of understanding • offer a solution

13. Things that help • Stick to the facts, not opinions • Use constructive criticism and problem-solving phrases • Tell students what they should be doing • Remind

14. Opportunities to practice using ‘Fact, Sympathy and Suggestion’ technique • Smoking in a non-smoking area (college) • Noisy in common areas

15. Three steps - smoking Fact: • This is a non-smoking area Sympathy: • I realise you may be short of time/it’s raining Suggestion: • You must either put out the cigarette or move to the smoking area

16. Three steps – noise levels Fact: • This is a quiet area Sympathy: • I realise you are having fun Suggestion: • You must either speak in whispers or go to the canteen/outside

17. The Do’s and Don’ts that help Making a request Do: • Be direct and to the point • Give a reason for the request • Respect the other person’s right to say no Don’t • Apologise • Justify yourself • Sell the request with flattery • Take advantage of people’s good nature • Take refusal personally

18. The Do’s and Don’ts that help Saying No Do: • Keep the reply brief and avoid rambling • Give a reason • Be honest about limitations/possibilities • Ask for more time to consider the request • Acknowledge the requester Don’t • Keep apologising • Feel guilty for saying no • Invent excuses