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Assertiveness

High. Accommodating. Problem-solver. Co-operation. Compromising. Avoidance. Win/Lose. Low. Assertiveness. High. Avoidance. Non-confrontational Ignores the conflict Denies the conflict Says “whatever” Not invested in the outcome. Accommodating. Agreeable Unassertive

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Assertiveness

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  1. High Accommodating Problem-solver Co-operation Compromising Avoidance Win/Lose Low Assertiveness • High

  2. Avoidance • Non-confrontational • Ignores the conflict • Denies the conflict • Says “whatever” • Not invested in the outcome

  3. Accommodating • Agreeable • Unassertive • Co-operates even at expense of personal goals

  4. Win/lose • Aggressive • Confrontational • Disregards the needs of others • Debates • Win at all costs

  5. Problem-Solver Collaborates Listens to all ideas Respects that all ideas could help improve project Considers the needs of others Dialogue Source: University of Wisconsin online

  6. Resolving conflict “You” message used: • Blame , hurt, and humiliate • often increase, rather than decrease, unacceptable behavior • cause resentment, escalate conflict • roadblock to communication. “I feel,” statement I feel like ______________ (feeling) when you ____________ (describe behavior) because ___________ (consequence)

  7. Dialogue vs. Debate

  8. Dialogue is characterized by: • Suspending judgment • examining our own work without defensiveness • exposing our reasoning and looking for limits to it • communicating our underlying assumptions • exploring viewpoints more broadly and deeply • being open to disconfirming data • approaching someone who sees a problem • differently not as an adversary, but as a • colleague in common pursuit of better solution.

  9. Phrases to use when you have difficulty understanding Source: Robert Sweetland's Notes: http://www.huntel.net/rsweetland/cman/verbal/refllistng.html

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